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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
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    124

    Default Is There an Order to Restrict Step Parents from Being Called Mommy or Daddy

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: TX and La

    My order is out of TX but my daughter and I live in LA for the last two plus years. We have been in court for child support contempt and he is going for full custody for the last year and half. My daughter began visiting with ex at the end of December. So she has been steadily going over there for about seven months. Well before summer began I suspected that my daughter was calling dad's gf mommy. During a phone conversation with my daughter I heard them refer to the gf as mommy to my daughter and it is becomming more noticable now that she is calling her mommy. I asked my daughter if she was and in fact she is. It if very hurtful to hear some of the things they say about me over there ( dad says to daughter that I have a dirty house, dont take care of her, things like that. The son over there says things like I am fat and ugly and that I tell my daughter to do stuff or I will kill myself) to my daughter but to now know that they are encouraging her to call dad's gf mommy!!! This is very damaging to me and my daughter's relationship! My daughter says she wants to call her that but of course she does after months of encouraging and coaxing from dad and family over there. My daughter is six years old and will know what she is taught. She does have enough respect to not call her mommy in front of me and that same respect, I feel, should be encouraged over there.

    My question is... Can I have it put into the order that any gf or new wife or bf or new husband not be called our titles? Meaning any gf or wife of his not to be called mommy, mom, mama, ext. and same for me?

    Any thoughts and opinons are very much appreciated!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    6,808

    Default Re: Is There an Order to Restrict Step Parents from Being Called Mommy or Daddy

    I would think you and Dad would grow up.

    Perhaps your daughter feels comfortable with the step-mom she spends a lot of time with? It's not a bad thing for a child to have two mom's. If you remarried, she may even call your new husband "daddy".

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    24

    Default Re: Is There an Order to Restrict Step Parents from Being Called Mommy or Daddy

    Unless the new spouse has adopted the child or the REAL parent has no problem with it, then the child should not be calling anyone else mommy/daddy.

    If you have a lawyer ask him to put something in your court papers about it, but I'm not sure how that can even be upheld. If it were me I would sit my child down and explain that it's not okay to call anyone else mommy. That you are her only mom. While it's okay to like dad's g/f, that doesn't make her your mom and you shouldn't call her anything but her name.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
    Posts
    4,494

    Default Re: Is There an Order to Restrict Step Parents from Being Called Mommy or Daddy

    I call my stepmom, mom. I call my mom, mom. I'm their daughter.

    There's been nothing remotely traumatizing to anyone. In fact, I'm almost 40

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
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    24

    Default Re: Is There an Order to Restrict Step Parents from Being Called Mommy or Daddy

    That may be so in YOUR case, but in this case mom obviously doesn't want that happening. I don't know many moms that would want their kids calling someone else mom. Dad/gf should have a little respect for mom, I'm sure dad wouldn't like it if roles were reversed.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Is There an Order to Restrict Step Parents from Being Called Mommy or Daddy

    I'm more curious as to why the kids are obviously being quizzed about what happens elsewhere.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Is There an Order to Restrict Step Parents from Being Called Mommy or Daddy

    Because that's the best way to find stuff to worry about.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    582

    Default Re: Is There an Order to Restrict Step Parents from Being Called Mommy or Daddy

    How would you enforce such an order? Wire the kid to see how many times they coax her to say mommy and then take it to court?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    124

    Default Re: Is There an Order to Restrict Step Parents from Being Called Mommy or Daddy

    I am a single mother and have had sole custody since age 2 she is now 7. The father was absent in her life for four years... for what reason exactly I dont know. He is here now though, but is going for full custody after the state filed contempt for no child support.. 17K. I would actually consider it being ok that she call her mommy if they where married and if they where not trying to win her over for court. They say bad things about me over there to my daughter and its been very hard on her and I. Daddy's gf has only been in my daughters life for about 7 months, which is a long time to her, but not to me and that is why I am the parent. Anyway daddy has 2 ex wifes and 3 baby mama's. This gf he has, if they get married, will be wife #3. He has had his other child whom he does have custody of call 4 different woman mommy. ( the boys mom was a crack head, sad ) Our daughter lives with me full time and we are very close, and I feel that this calling the gf mommy is a very bad thing for my daughter. I do not quiz my child either it took me a few months just to notice them refering to her as mommy, and I simply asked her. I then had a talk with her and let her know that it is not ok for her to call her mommy. I explained that if her dad and gf do get married then she would be her step mom. I told her I know she loves gf and that she is a special person to her and that is ok. And all the things I said she told me before was her comming to me... I didnt ask her about those things, and when she does come to me with it I listen to her and how she feels and validate what she is feeling, I never comment on her father or family for what she tells me they say. I am dealing with parental alienation here and the best thing for me to do is be here for my daughter and show her ( not tell her ) that the things they say are not true. I have a step father myself and never called him dad, although I saw him as my dad. I called him by name out of respect and love for my real dad. Yes, dad should show our daughter and myself a bit more respect. And if the tables where turned daddy would not like it at all if she was calling somebody else daddy, especially a man she would spend more time with. Personally I think I am being as mature as possible about this. Anyway thank you for your replys and I will definately speak with my attorney about it, even if it will be hard to uphold.

    Distressedmom, one day she will be old enough to see the truth. The order will be there to protect her, if they choose not to follow it, Im not going to hunt them down or wire my child. But if while in counsling it is discovered this is causeing her problems then he will be held acountable by the court order. Taking it to court is not the objective, it would be to discourage the behavior.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
    Posts
    4,494

    Default Re: Is There an Order to Restrict Step Parents from Being Called Mommy or Daddy

    So parenting is about feelings...... got it.

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