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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    8

    Question Dad Won't Visit Anywhere but Mom's House

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: nc

    My childs father and I entered into a custody order by signing a memorandum of judgement and the judge issuing a formal order. It states sole primary physical to me with visitation for dad three of four saturdays a month from 11-7. First,he doesn't use that whole time, ever, only maybe three hours of it.

    Second, even though his visitation is custodial and unsupervised he reuses to do visits anywhere but at my residence. Im frankly tired of him being in our , considering I've never been allowed in his , and want to know what I can do to make him use visits in neutral locations or at his residence. Also we have joint legal with final decisions to me and order states location of visits and also transportation will be mutually agreed on.

    Thanks

  2. #2

    Default Re: Dad Won't Visit Anywhere but Mom's House

    Let him know ahead of time that "our residence is no longer available for visitation. Please let me know where you would like to meet." If he does not give you a location, when it is time for his visitation, Don't Be Home. I'm assuming he has a cell phone? Call him at his visitation time, or if he calls you, reiterate that your home is no longer available for visitation and please let you know where he would like to meet you for visitation...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    8

    Default Re: Dad Won't Visit Anywhere but Mom's House

    Quote Quoting ksmom
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    Let him know ahead of time that "our residence is no longer available for visitation. Please let me know where you would like to meet." If he does not give you a location, when it is time for his visitation, Don't Be Home. I'm assuming he has a cell phone? Call him at his visitation time, or if he calls you, reiterate that your home is no longer available for visitation and please let you know where he would like to meet you for visitation...
    Thats a good idea except my husband and I live with family, and they.are ok.with the ex coming here so what happens if I leave and say "im a"t x place meet here" and he goes to the house anyway? Can't I get in trouble for leaving with the child and thereby "interfering with visitation"?

  4. #4

    Default Re: Dad Won't Visit Anywhere but Mom's House

    You're not interfering with anything. Unless it's spelled out in your court order, you're under no obligation for the visitation to occur at your home, regardless of who else lives there. You only have to make the child available - the burden is on DAD to figure out the "where" and "how" of the logistics. If he refuses to do so, that's a bed he's made for himself, and the judge will have NO problem explaining that to him, should he find the need to take it that far (which he'd be incredibly stupid to do). Tell dad he has 3 choices: (1) pick the child up at your door, and return the child later, or, (2) meet you somewhere, or (3) not have visitation since he's unable to understand what "mutual agreement" means or that he has NO right to enter your home against YOUR will. Period. The only person interfering with dad's visitation is DAD.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    8

    Default Re: Dad Won't Visit Anywhere but Mom's House

    Quote Quoting aardvarc
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    You're not interfering with anything. Unless it's spelled out in your court order, you're under no obligation for the visitation to occur at your home, regardless of who else lives there. You only have to make the child available - the burden is on DAD to figure out the "where" and "how" of the logistics. If he refuses to do so, that's a bed he's made for himself, and the judge will have NO problem explaining that to him, should he find the need to take it that far (which he'd be incredibly stupid to do). Tell dad he has 3 choices: (1) pick the child up at your door, and return the child later, or, (2) meet you somewhere, or (3) not have visitation since he's unable to understand what "mutual agreement" means or that he has NO right to enter your home against YOUR will. Period. The only person interfering with dad's visitation is DAD.
    But its not my and my husbands home, its my mothers,we live here with he and she likes them coming bc she likes company.... So even if I've let him come in the past I can now say no more visits here and as long as I have the child somewhere and tell him to come there then I'm not in contempt?


    Also does dads gf and other relatives have a right to come to visitation?if they are his ride can I ask him to find another way? That sounds ridiculous but just curious.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    98,846

    Default Re: Dad Won't Visit Anywhere but Mom's House

    If you don't like the fact that your mother is happy to let your ex- exercise his visitation in her home, you have every right to move out, establish your own household, and exclude your ex- from your own home. Your mom, as homeowner, gets to decide who she will invite in as guests.

    As some parents are known to say, "My house, my rules."

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    8

    Default Re: Dad Won't Visit Anywhere but Mom's House

    Quote Quoting Mr. Knowitall
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    If you don't like the fact that your mother is happy to let your ex- exercise his visitation in her home, you have every right to move out, establish your own household, and exclude your ex- from your own home. Your mom, as homeowner, gets to decide who she will invite in as guests.

    As some parents are known to say, "My house, my rules."

    Im well aware of her right to have guests..what I was confirming was my right to remove my child from her home to a neutral location for the ncp to visit at.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Quoting Mr. Knowitall
    View Post
    If you don't like the fact that your mother is happy to let your ex- exercise his visitation in her home, you have every right to move out, establish your own household, and exclude your ex- from your own home. Your mom, as homeowner, gets to decide who she will invite in as guests.

    As some parents are known to say, "My house, my rules."

    Im well aware of her right to have guests..what I was confirming was my right to remove my child from her home to a neutral location for the ncp to visit at.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    Default Re: Dad Won't Visit Anywhere but Mom's House

    If he wanted to, Dad could actually make quite a deal of this.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
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    8

    Default Re: Dad Won't Visit Anywhere but Mom's House

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
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    If he wanted to, Dad could actually make quite a deal of this.
    In what way do you mean?

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Dad Won't Visit Anywhere but Mom's House

    Before we go there, a quick question.

    Okay, Dad meets you at McD's.

    Dad picks up kiddo, and goes back...to your parents' house.

    How are you going to deal with that?

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