My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Washington
(Summary of history)
My child's father was absent during pregnancy, and only visited 8 times after birth (which all visits were dragged by his mother). He is 22 and still a mommas boy and admitted after our daughters birth that he wants no responsibility, just to visit now and then. At two weeks old, they were enraged I wouldn't let our daughter stay at their house over night (without me). Two weeks later he files for a parenting plan and than stopped talking to us for 2 months. I filed my response, and than filed with my parenting plan and we ended up in court with a temporary schedule of 3 days a week visits from 9:30 - 12:00 on (monday, wednesday, saturday). The first week of visits were to be at my house considering she had no idea who he was than after a week of visits they would transfer to his house. We started the visits midweek on a wednesday because we were in court on a monday. He showed up (With a fight and refused to let me tell him what kind of diapers she uses/size or clothes, or bottles or show him how to make a bottle) and than showed up for his saturday visit. That following monday he didn't show up and said I was supposed to take her because it was a new calender week. He filed me contempt. I got served and harrased by his aunt in front of our daughter when I was served. We went to court and the judge said no I wasn't contempt it was a misunderstanding and I was orginally right. Michael asked for more time for his family - the judge denied. Throughout all this my daughter is coming home in soaked diapers, he is changing her outfits and putting her in newborn clothes (she's 15 pounds and wearing 6 months) I have picked her up and there was dry poop in the diaper, he has given her medicine without contacting me, and always causing a fight.
In our first hearing, Michael asked to do pick up/drop offs and I requested I could do it so it would ease her into it and have her feel more comfortable - the judge agreed that for a month I do drop off pick ups and that after so, the father will have to get a carseat and than he will do be responsible for pick up/drop offs. Last week I was sick with a fever and vomiting so I could not physically drive her, my parents dropped her off and picked her up than said they saw a carseat. I texted him and asked if he had one and he said yes. I said that since you have one we should compromise and he do pick ups and I do drop offs. He said no. The day before his saturday visit I said he could pick her up in the morning and I will pick her up from his house. He said no. In the morning he said he will be filing me contempt because I am not bringing over his daughter. I told him I am not denying the visit, he has a carseat so this is his obligation considering the judge said he has too. He said "If I pick her up at 9:30 I will have my parents drop her off at 2 or so" I said "If I find out she is not in your custody during the visit I will call the police and if she is not with me by the end of her scheduled visit at 12 I will call the police" He never showed up to pick her up. Today I texted him saying I need him to pick her up tomorrow for the visit ( I honestly have NO gas to drive 30 minutes there, come home wait 2 hours than ho back and pick her up and than come again) He said no, if she is not here I will hold you contempt again.
I am not sure what to do.

