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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    2

    Default Being Held in Contempt

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Washington

    (Summary of history)
    My child's father was absent during pregnancy, and only visited 8 times after birth (which all visits were dragged by his mother). He is 22 and still a mommas boy and admitted after our daughters birth that he wants no responsibility, just to visit now and then. At two weeks old, they were enraged I wouldn't let our daughter stay at their house over night (without me). Two weeks later he files for a parenting plan and than stopped talking to us for 2 months. I filed my response, and than filed with my parenting plan and we ended up in court with a temporary schedule of 3 days a week visits from 9:30 - 12:00 on (monday, wednesday, saturday). The first week of visits were to be at my house considering she had no idea who he was than after a week of visits they would transfer to his house. We started the visits midweek on a wednesday because we were in court on a monday. He showed up (With a fight and refused to let me tell him what kind of diapers she uses/size or clothes, or bottles or show him how to make a bottle) and than showed up for his saturday visit. That following monday he didn't show up and said I was supposed to take her because it was a new calender week. He filed me contempt. I got served and harrased by his aunt in front of our daughter when I was served. We went to court and the judge said no I wasn't contempt it was a misunderstanding and I was orginally right. Michael asked for more time for his family - the judge denied. Throughout all this my daughter is coming home in soaked diapers, he is changing her outfits and putting her in newborn clothes (she's 15 pounds and wearing 6 months) I have picked her up and there was dry poop in the diaper, he has given her medicine without contacting me, and always causing a fight.

    In our first hearing, Michael asked to do pick up/drop offs and I requested I could do it so it would ease her into it and have her feel more comfortable - the judge agreed that for a month I do drop off pick ups and that after so, the father will have to get a carseat and than he will do be responsible for pick up/drop offs. Last week I was sick with a fever and vomiting so I could not physically drive her, my parents dropped her off and picked her up than said they saw a carseat. I texted him and asked if he had one and he said yes. I said that since you have one we should compromise and he do pick ups and I do drop offs. He said no. The day before his saturday visit I said he could pick her up in the morning and I will pick her up from his house. He said no. In the morning he said he will be filing me contempt because I am not bringing over his daughter. I told him I am not denying the visit, he has a carseat so this is his obligation considering the judge said he has too. He said "If I pick her up at 9:30 I will have my parents drop her off at 2 or so" I said "If I find out she is not in your custody during the visit I will call the police and if she is not with me by the end of her scheduled visit at 12 I will call the police" He never showed up to pick her up. Today I texted him saying I need him to pick her up tomorrow for the visit ( I honestly have NO gas to drive 30 minutes there, come home wait 2 hours than ho back and pick her up and than come again) He said no, if she is not here I will hold you contempt again.

    I am not sure what to do.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Being Held in Contempt

    I said "If I find out she is not in your custody during the visit I will call the police
    until you reached that point, you weren't doing to badly. While the child is with dad on dad's time, he can allow his family to see HIS child. You both need to grow up and quit acting like kids yourselves.


    and a child soaked and/or dry poop in 2 1/2 hours? Seriously?

    the judge agreed that for a month I do drop off pick ups
    if the judge said for a month you do drop offs and pick ups, then that is what you do.

    remember, you did say this:

    I requested I could do it so it would ease her into it and have her feel more comfortable -
    I am not denying the visit, he has a carseat so this is his obligation considering the judge said he has too.
    has it been over a month?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Being Held in Contempt

    The temporary schedule is for HIS visits. I must of wrote that wrong or some sort of misscomunication because he said he was leaving her with his family and they would bring her back to me if so. The visits are for HIM not her to be left and not to be there at all. I don't disagree with his family seeing her - I think it's great they get to bond with her too as long as they are sober (but I can't control that). and yes, I pick her up and her diaper is soaked and full do you not believe it because it happens 95% of the time and once with the poop (it wasn't completley dry but it wasn't fresh either.

    It has been well over a month since I have done pick up/drop offs.

    - - - Updated - - -

    and we both need to grow up and quit acting like kids ourselves? How is me being a single mother raising my daughter on my own trying to meet ends meet and compromising with the father, not causing fights, always acting civil on my part, and wanting my daughter to have a relationship with her father immature? I am not playing games or causing conflict.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    38,867

    Default Re: Being Held in Contempt

    The visits are for HIM not her to be left and not to be there at all.
    unless the court order specifies that, he can do what he wants with the child on his time. You need to get used to the fact it is HIS child too. You do not get complete control over the child all the time.

    How old is the child? I've had a few of my own plus some grandchildren. It's not like I am not familiar with taking care of children so when I question a soaked diaper after 2 1/2 hours or a bowel movement that was claimed to be so old it is drying, I have doubts. So, what you do is change the child before you leave and plan on changing her when you pick her up. If the child is urinating so much as to soak through a diaper in 2 1/2 hours, you might want to change brands or get a medical checkup. It takes a lot of urine to soak through most decent modern diapers.


    It has been well over a month since I have done pick up/drop offs.
    If it has been over a month since the modification of the order you noted, then while you cannot force him to pick up the child, he cannot force you to deliver the child either. It is a poorly written order if it is not specific enough to know who is supposed to do what.


    I am not playing games or causing conflict.
    by making an issue about who the child is with (as long as she is safe) and who brings the child home to you, yes, you are.

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