For the minor, Doggy is right. Note you must have consent or at least attempted to notify the other parent who can surely protest.
http://www.rocketlawyer.com/article/...for-a-minor.rl
You must notify him. If you truly can't find him, you can do so by publication, but you will have to explain in your petition what you did to try to locate him.
For your own name, if you get married both the bride and groom can elect to change their surname to the surname of either the bride or groom, or some combination of the two (can be hyphenated, or you can make up a new name out of pieces of either name). You still have to go through the court process to change the minor's name.

