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  1. #1
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    Jun 2012
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    Default Police Report States I Accused my Boyfriend of Rape, But I Did Not

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: CA
    My boyfriend and I where not seeing eye to eye on Jan 13th, 2012. He wanted to go in the bedroom and "talk" aka make up, and I was not exactly ready to do that yet. He picked me up and put me over his shoulder and took me into the bedroom, we were talking at first, he wanted to have sex with me, I was playing hard to get, I enjoy playing sex games with him and I really like rough sex. My 13 year daughter over reacted when she entered my room to investigate a "yelping noise" from me. She grabbed the pepperspray and sprayed him in the face, he sprayed her back, she called 911, I took the kids to my sisters house to try to get the mace off of us both, she said she thought he was raping me, the cops came, I answered every question honestly. The sherriff asked me several times "did he rape you?" I said no, we didnit even have sex yet. "Did he hit you or assault you?" I said no, NO NO NO to every question he asked, because that was the truth. He wanted me to get a rape kit, I said "no, I was not raped" he told me that I am a victim, I said "I am not his victim, he did not hit me or rape me or anything crazy like that." Then the cop said they found drugs on him which I could not believe at all, I thought that he was just lying to me to try to get me to say something bad about him. They placed him under arrest for willfull cruelity to a minor and possesion. But when my bf called me from jail he told me he was also charged with rape and spousal abuse and like 6 other things that were all wrong. I tried to tell the sherriff department immediatley that those charges were not accurate and not warranted, they told me to contact the DA, the DA however does not believe anything I say about rough sex and our "submissive games" I like to play. His public defender believes me, but I have thought not for 4 1/2 months now that since they refuse to drop the rape, sodomy, oral copulation, burglary, spousal abuse and kidnapping charges that I will be forced to stand before a judge and a jury and give them concrete evidence that my bedroom activities are what I have always told them they are, that he was not hurting me or confining me in any way without my consent and I will have to listen to 5 of my ex boyfriends from over the 13 years explain the same thing in court. Very imbarrassing... Very intrusive, way too much private info to be talked about in front of people I do not know, but the love of my lofe, my future husband is still in jail awaiting trial that keeps being postponed due to other trials and he is going through hell in county PC. Here is my problem/my compliant. I decided I might want to see what the police report says, so a few days ago I went a picked up a copy. I was appalled, I immediately felt sick to my stomach, and then I became so infuriated as I kept reading all of the lies the cop said in the report. The entire first line is a lie. It reads "Ms. XXXX reported that her ex-boyfriend XXXXXXXXXXXXX raped her, sodimized her, and attempted to force his penis in her mouth. She said he was attacking her and holding her against her will. XXXX had minor injuries and......" Ok the entire first paragragh is a lie. I had no injuries, I said several times he did NOT rape me, and I didn't even know what sodimize meant until recently. Of course I did not say any of those things, he completely fabricated so many other things in the report as well. He was incredibly inaccurate in the other details of the report pertaining to the entire night, OMG, I am dumbfounded, my boyfriend said it is because he was arrested before for assault and took a plea bargain because he has no trust or faith in the justice system especially cops, I on the the hand have an emmense repect for all members of the law and would never have believed a cop would lie or plant drugs on someone to add charges to them. I am not sure what to do, isn't there some kind of recourse, some way of making this right, I can not recant my statement beacuse I did not lie to the cop, I told the truth, he is the one whoe lied. I can not have any charges dropped because the DA believes the cop and not me. My sister was sitting right there next to me during the entire enterview that night and she has the exact same memories of what all was said and how I answered his questions. She is not so surprised by the cop lies, she said it happens more often then I would care to know. I am devastated, but more so, my bf is looked up with real criminals, men who have actually raped or murdered people and sold drugs to kids, very dangerous people and they do not believe in his innocence. I am desperate, I need advice, I can not afford an attorney. I am 33 years old, single mom for about 10 out of the last 13 years, bought my home on my own, I am working on my AS degree, I have a great job, my ex-husband is not currently paying child support, I am a good person, a law obiding citizen, I do not drink, I had a great childhood, I have never touched any drugs, never even had a speeding ticket, I am a productive member of society, what can I possibly do to make people see that the cop falisfied the police report, my bf does not deserve those charges, I even told the cop that night I was not a victim and I did not want to press charges for anything that had to do with me. How could this have happened, I am baffled, please help, someone please let me know if there is any way I can get the judge or the DA or someone other than his PD to listen to me. I am losing all faith in the justice system, they are trying to give him a life sentance because some cop decided to be his own judge and jury and declare my BF a rapist instead of telling the truth in the report and stating what actually was said and what occured. There are so many inconsisantancies in the report than what actually happened, he was taking notes during the whole interview and writing the entire time, how could he have been so wrong? I have no choice but to believe it was deliberate. I can not sit here and do nothing, I need to find a way to get someone to listen to me, is there anything I can do, please help... This is a gross injustice, we can not allow cops to lie and people to be sent to prison for the rest of their life for something they honestly never did. Please Please help in any way you can, I am in desperate need of justice, any adivce what be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Sherriff Lied on Police Report, Calims I Was Raped, Please Help Us

    I'm not going to comment on anything else, except that if you keep going with this, you're going to lose your daughter.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Police Report States I Accused my Boyfriend of Rape, But I Did Not

    The facts that are not in dispute appear to be as follows:

    You were at home with your boyfriend and your 13-year-old daughter. You and your boyfriend were in a heated argument. He then hoisted you over his shoulder and carried you into the bedroom, closing the door. You started screaming and protesting. Your child believed you were being attacked, got your pepper spray, entered the bedroom and sprayed your boyfriend in the face. He then took the pepper spray from her and sprayed her in the face. Your daughter called 911.

    Your version of what happened after you entered the bedroom appears to be as follows:

    You like rough sex, and even though you had just been in an angry fight with your boyfriend you decided to switch gears from fighting to "making up" in a way that people unfamiliar with your preferences would confuse with fighting. Unfortunately you were so loud in your responses to your boyfriend that your child was confused and believed that he was attacking you, and entered to spray your boyfriend in the eyes with pepper spray. Your boyfriend grabbed the pepper spray and sprayed it on your child.

    Even though your daughter had called 911, and you knew the police were coming, you got your children (the 13-year-old presumably being the oldest) together and went to your sister's house. Your reason for this was "to try to get the mace off of us both", although if cleaning your child's face and eyes were the issue it would have seemed much more sensible to do that at home rather than making the child wait.

    The police then arrived at your sister's home, having found you there because... (you haven't explained). You then told the police that your daughter was mistaken about what had happened and, although you had been in a big fight with your boyfriend, he had hoisted you out of the room, and you made noises that made your child (or children) believe you were being hurt, once the bedroom door closed everything became consensual.

    Now, for reasons you do not know and cannot explain, the police are falsely claiming that you accused your boyfriend of sexual assault, when you told them it was consensual rough sex. Your sister was sitting next to you when you made the report to the police, and she'll confirm that the police are simply making stuff up.

    The police version of events appears to be as follows:

    They received a 911 call indicating that a man was attacking his girlfriend and sprayed her child in the eyes with pepper spray when they tried to get him to stop. When they reported to the home they found signs of a disturbance, but that the alleged victim had left the scene with the children. (Perhaps the boyfriend was interrogated at this point; you haven't shared.) When the boyfriend was detained, he was found to be in the unlawful possession of controlled substances. They then (somehow) tracked you down to your sister's house where your daughter (or perhaps all of your children) confirmed the 911 report. They questioned you and you confirmed that he attempted to sexually assault you. They may also have noted that you refused a rape kit, and they suspected that you did not want your boyfriend prosecuted for any of his actions.

    If I were a prosecutor reviewing the case I would see a statement from the child (or children) consistent with the police version of events. I would see physical evidence consistent with the police version of events. I would see a boyfriend who probably has a record, who was caught with illegal drugs, and who though it was appropriate to pepper spray a child in the eyes. And I would see you who, after reportedly giving a statement to the police that was consistent with that of your child(ren) and with the physical evidence, were stating that the police were lying in order to set up your boyfriend. I would know that the police have no reason to lie, and would be putting their careers at risk by lying. I would likely conclude that you were one of the many victims of domestic violence who, having made a truthful report of an incident of violence to the police, wanted to retract that report - but that you were afraid that if you scuttled the prosecution with an outright retraction, an "I lied", you might be prosecuted for filing a false police report.

    And yes, as Dogmatique suggests, I would be concerned about whether you are looking out for the welfare of your children, whether you are going to put your children at risk by allowing this boyfriend to return to the home, and whether protective services should investigate the home (if they're not already).

    Even if I assume that you're the one who's right and everybody else is wrong, I think that's how a prosecutor will perceive the events and story you've recited.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Police Report States I Accused my Boyfriend of Rape, But I Did Not

    This is why our children are fully cognizant of the our chosen lifestyle flavors. It prevents misunderstandings like this from happening.

  5. #5
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    Jun 2012
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    Default Re: Police Report States I Accused my Boyfriend of Rape, But I Did Not

    I can assure you that I did not nor have I ever lied to the cops or the DA. One of the lies the cop put in his report is that I supposibly was screaming for help or someone to call 911. This is completlely untrue, in fact I did not ever raise my voice that evening, I told my daughter that we were talking and I would be out soon, I never said 911 because I did not need help, even when we were disagreeing I was trying to keep our voices quiet as not to alarm the children in the house. All three of the kids in the house have the same account and so do my neighbors who can hear everything from my bedroom window. I understand that some people do come forward later and say they lied to help get off the accused, but this is not the case here. In this case he will serve time for the charge for spraying my daughter back in the face and they also said they found drugs on him, I am not sure if I believe that or not, but he will spend time in prison, I am only trying to make his charges fair, I believe that people should be charged with things they are guilty of and they should be punished for what they do wrong in their life, so how can you have charges removed that they are innocent of when a cop decides to take the law into his own hand and make up things and pretend you said things you never said or had injuries that you never had. If I was being raped or assaulted in any way there would have been some sort of evidence to prove that, I would have fought as hard as I possibly could to get him away from me, I would have kicked, punched, scratched, yelled, cried, something anything to get help and to get proof of his misconduct so he could be arrested and charged with every single thing that he did. There was not one mark or injury on either one of us because the was no attack. I feel like I am drowning in a sea of people who will never believe me and my bf has to pay with his life for my sexual desires. I am a good person and the best mom I know how to be, my fault is that I never should have ever tried to argue with him while the children were home, and seeing as how I am incapable of being quiet during foreplay I suppose I should never be intimate with the children home either. Yes, maybe I am a bad parent sometimes, maybe I deserve this as my punishment, regardless, it is unfair to punish him for things he did not do. P.S. I was smiling when he picked me up, I thought it was funny and it was very impressive, I was not in distress as all, I was never in fear of him, I trusted him completley and I liked the feeling of him being in control of me, hince my submissve sexual tendencies.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Police Report States I Accused my Boyfriend of Rape, But I Did Not

    I can still see child services paying you a visit if you're not careful.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Sherriff Lied on Police Report, Calims I Was Raped, Please Help Us

    Oh WOW, who the heck are you to say something like that to me. You have no basis of your claim, people have sex with kids in the home all the time, the door was locked for that reason, and sometimes children do misunderstand some things they hear or see in this world, does that really constitute my child being taken away form me. Ok then, so be it, I am sure you are a phychic and an expert too right lol. Just know that all three children that night have to exact account of the events as I do and as my bf does, there was no rape or assault, you can believe whatever you want to, just as the DA does all thanks to the cop lying on purpose. You sir are a judgmental prick, I truely hope the jury people are more understanding than you. And if I lose my kids fighting for what is right, then that would be the second huge misjustice since that night, the first being a crooked cop. People like you will not get me to stop fighting for justice, I WILL NEVER GIVE UP on trying to prove what really happened that night, that cop lied because my bf had a prior arrest, not for anything related to these charges, but please know that I intend to file a complaint with the Sherriff Department and then posibly even sue him somehow, not sure yet I have an appt. with an attorney today. I will sell my house, my cars, everything I own to pay for a lawyer until justice is served. If I lose my kids, so be it, I know that will never happen because I was there that night, I know the truth, you are biased just like the cop was, that is what is wrong with the world, there is no trust left, everyone thinks that people are liars. And people like me who like rough sex are persecuted for being different. Whatever, so be it. I will fight until I have nothing left, this is wrong, cops should not be able to make up things to add charges, he was already getting arrested for child endangerment, they did not have to make up other stuff to get him arrested. Good day. Please do not respond, you are quite disheartening. P.S. my daughter has apologized for over reacting and being a drama queen that night, she knows he was not hurting me, she feels awful for coming into my room and spraying him, and she also has admitted that she had no reason other than she wanted him to leave and us to watch TV together. This was just all a big misuderstanding, so have a good day.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Sherriff Lied on Police Report, Calims I Was Raped, Please Help Us

    Unfortunately this is a very typical example of a victim's mentality.

    It's also tragic. Please don't raise your child/ren in this environment.

  9. #9
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    Jun 2012
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    Default Re: Sherriff Lied on Police Report, Calims I Was Raped, Please Help Us

    I fully agree with you, I am only looking for justice here, and that is what my children will see me fighting for. I want them tostand up for what is right and what they believe in, I do not want them thinking that cops lie, I want them to have respect for the law as I always have. I am only contesting to the charges that are not correct, the other two charges in which he is guity of he deserves to be punished for, I am not trying to get him off or have him released, I just want what is fair. The charges against me are wrong, that is not fair.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I will welcome child services, I have nothing to hide, my children will answer any question open and honestly and be helpfull in anyway, as will I.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Police Report States I Accused my Boyfriend of Rape, But I Did Not

    The problem is you were not honest about your sexuality with the children beforehand. In order for the children to have an environment where they feel safe, they need to have prior knowledge of what things they will encounter and how to put them into perspective. For example, a friend, who is a slave, even when living alone, without a master, in a matter of fact manner acquainted her son with different methods of punishment and explained the context that some people find them enjoyable. When she finds a master for a LTR, she will explain to her son the punishments she may endure and reassure him she is happily participating, regardless of how she may scream, cry or be abused. I will refrain from explanations my children have received, however my daughter did tell us her high school health teacher was astounded and uncomfortable with her knowledge.

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