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    Default Re: Motion for Contempt of Custody Order

    Quote Quoting bryangators
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    Ok, i work 12am to 8am shift right now and my days off are weds/thurs. I get off work at 8 am tues morning and im off til thursday night at midnight. For the last couple months i have been getting my son on tuesday night or late afternoon so i can get my two overnight stays to go with the two days. there is no way for me to watch him overnight on thursday night because i have to work.
    Then you're either going to suffer in the scheduling, or you'll want to work different hours, or you'll want get your visitation modified to take into account that you work hours that wouldn't work for 80% of families. NCPs who work strange hours frequently have issues with visitation times because their schedules don't mesh with the rest of the world, the CP, the child's school, etc. If you're relatively confident in your work schedule and that you'll be keeping it long term, the best way to CYA and get something that mom can be held accountable to is to get a modification in writing from the court. Otherwise the language as presented leaves a lot of room for interpretation, which will never give you the upper hand.


    well when my ex gets mad just feels like taking out frustration she tells me i have to pick him up by noon on tuesday or even earlier when she knows i have been up all night working and i have to get some sleep to be able to watch him.
    The court won't hold mom hostage during certain hours waiting around to turn the child over just because they happen to be the hours you sleep. Mom deserves to have full days to herself when the child is on your time. Depending on the age of the child, the child has a right to not have their routine terribly disrupted either - when the child lives with mom, that's usually going to correspond. Be prepared for the judge to hint, if not flat out tell you, that if you want things to be easier, then working regular hours is the biggest step to facilitate that. Or figure out a different time to sleep, or swap shifts, or trade your visitation days with a coworker. Night workers tend to get the shaft in visitation, because they are the wrench in the gears.


    technically its her day with him and not mine because it is not my day off. I have texts saved of her telling me i better be there at noon or im not getting him this week.
    When mom is technically right, you're technically screwed. You be there when you're technically supposed to, or you miss out, in reality. This is exactly why it's in your best interest to get your visitation agreement updated and modified. If your schedule is conflicting with your visitation, one or both need to change. If you're expecting mom to change or be helpful, I wouldn't (given the history).




    then she says since your not going to meet me there i have made other arrangements. the following day she calls and says she waited 30 mins for me and left. also she says she got a note from the police saying i did not show up.
    The police don't write "notes". At best, mom requested a case number and was issued one. If she wants to bring that up in court, let her. There are judges who would tear her a new orafice for wasting police time with petty crap like this. If her messages show discrepancies, make sure you keep them as they can help address credibility - the court won't be happy if mom is pulling crap like saying "I made other arrangements" on one hand, then spouting that "you didn't show up" on the other hand. Make sure you save ALL of this - whether email, text, voicemail, etc.


    later that day when i woke up around 2 pm i asked her to let me see him and she did not. the following day i asked her again to let me pick up my son and she did not. She blamed it on me not coming. Now my question is. Is she violating the custody order or can she get away with this.
    She can get away with it until hell freezes over until you get back into court. Whether or not the court will find her in contempt, only the judge can tell you - but I suspect not. What the court cares about and can enforce is "technically" stuff. You need to either be available at the exact times, dates, and circumstances as listed in the order, or risk missing your visitation until the next week/cycle.


    I have all the text saved and she is clearly doing it out of revenge because i told her i wanted to follow the parenting plan this summer where we will be alternating weeks with our son.
    That's a good idea, and probably easier on the child too. Now get to court and make it official.


    Also, do we not have to agree on a place and time for someone to be 30 mins late and i also told her i could not meet her at that time. so is that not prior notice.

    Also she has moved 4 times since we split up last year and has not given me her last 2 addresses. i have her on text saying im not telling you where i live take me to court.
    Yep. She's right. If she's in contempt, the answer is to file a motion and ask the court to find her in contempt. You need to undestand that the reality of contempt is that the first couple of times, the judge shakes a finger and says "now play nice". The next couple of times, they judge adds a scowl to the finger shaking. The next couple of times, the judge might raise a voice or even make a threat to do something unpleasant. The next time the judge might yell and say "I mean it". Point being, contempt alone, especially if only a handful of times, isn't going to cause a change in custody. Change in custody comes when the court has given every reasonable accomodation, given multiple warnings, and given mom lots of chances to clean up her act...AND when there has been some demonstration to the court that such as change is in the child's best interest (interesting that you really haven't mentioned the child at all so far).


    then a few weeks later she text me she is living at her moms house which i know is not true. can she get away with this.
    Until you take her to take her to court, yes.



    last she was arrested for a criminal traffic case a few weeks ago.
    Unless it directly impacts the child, the family court isn't likely to care. It depends on the criminal court to deal with her over this.


    that combined with all the games she plays with visitation and our son
    You have a crappy visitation order, that you're not able to follow either due to your own work schedule. You BOTH have issues going on. Fix the issues. Otherwise, the court isn't going to see it as "games".


    and she hasnt had a steady job her whole life.
    Irrelevant. It didn't stop you from making a child with her, and it's not going to concern the court now.


    is there a good chance i can get custody.
    Not when you're not even able to maintain a schedule that allows you to utilize your visitation, no. Nothing here would suggest that a change in custody would be appropriate or that you would be able to facilitate visitation any better.


    I have 4 police reports where she made allegations of abuse and all were unfounded. 2 dcf reports with the same outcome. she is cleary trying to ruin me and use our son as a tool to exact revenge on me. I have tried everything with this girl but she just doesnt stop.
    Ok.



    also the doctors office has called in a report of neglect against her to dcf.
    And did that result in the same non-action that occurred in the complaints against you?

    Courts don't care about numerous complaints. Courts care about FOUNDED complaints, ACTIONS taken by social services, or CRIMINAL convictions. You can't stop her from reporting something every day if she's inclined to spend that type of energy. You also don't have to react to it.


    with all this will i be able to get custody?
    Nothing here suggests that a change in custody is the logical step for the child's best interest. You've concentrated 100% of your post on issues between you and mom. Mom did this. Mom did that. Mom isn't playing by the rules. Mom isn't fair. Etc. But you really haven't mentioned anything about the important part of changing custody...which is the CHILD. Parents tend to fight and feud and bitch at each other, expecting the courts to act as their "hammer" to get or keep the other parent in line or to change custody as a way of "punishment" on the offending parent. But it doesn't work that way. The court's don't act in the PARENTS best interest and don't use the child as a tool against a parent (no fair asking the court to do exactly what you're complaining about the other parent doing, yanno) - instead the courts act in the CHILD'S best interest. That means the court evaluates the sitation from the CHILD'S point of view. So as long as the focus of your issues is on mom, instead of the CHILD, no, you're not going to get custody, you're going to get the court shaking it's finger and telling mom to knock off the games and telling you to come up with a visitation plan that is more conducive to the realities of your schedule.

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