We don't have to speculate.
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We don't have to speculate.
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You know, there really isn't any need to drip snotty on the shoes of the volunteers. We work with the information you give us and the attitude you project, and if the attitude you project gives people the wrong impression such that you feel you need to stomp your little foot and holler "You don't know my life!", you've really no one to blame but yourself.You don't know my whole situation, history etc.
Maybe consider in the future not spending so much time publicly seeking to thwart a court order?
Here's the deal I have everything ready to take them but I am SCARED of what's going to happen. My kids don't have a close relationship with their dad and there has been domestic violence at every turn (not just with me but subsequent females as well and my kids were there when it would happen) along with alcohol problems etc. It's a lot harder to pull tour kids out of a scary and potentially dangerous situation when you are across the country. Unless you have ever been in this position you can't truly understand it.
And yes I have proof of all of those situations since that seems to come into question all the time.
Yeah, this isn't helping you, either. You'd be amazed at what people understand. Doggie's a step-Mom. I've been the kid yanked out of a TRULY dangerous situation by a third party. Parents grew pot in the basement and dealt in the living room, CPS was at our house weekly, my siblings and I went to school bruised to a fare-thee-well? DUI convictions for both parents? The courts said "Enh, whatevs." It took my father nearly killing me - coma, brain surgery, physical therapy! - for the courts to decide that yes, actually, I was in danger.Unless you have ever been in this position you can't truly understand it.
So before you get your britches in a bunch about how no one knows your life and can't possibly understand? Think about how foolish you look to people who've been there, done that, and have the blood soaked t-shirt.
Look, we get that you're worried for your kids. But, again, the courts are not going to be sympathetic to your attempts to undermine the visitation orders, because, again, this is the person you willingly CHOSE to make babies with, and now you have to share them. That he's slapped girlfriends and you around is irrelevant, unless he has slapped the kids around, too. (And even then...)
The simple fact of the matter is that until something actually harms the children, you have no grounds to get the order modified to suit you. "He might" and "he threatened" are completely irrelevant to the courts. Either he did, or he didn't. Right now, he didn't, and you're going to have to work with that.
But WHY are the courts that way? Why does it take something happening to maybe make something happen. There's too many parents who show patterns and the legal system is of no help (because its close to home the Josh Powell case here and that's just an example that's all) . I didn't KNOW my ex was abusive until after the fact and getting out of the situation is hard..... My kids aren't a mistake but my choice in a parent was. And until he breaks the order i got it i can't do anything but his inability to drive isn't going to be an issue? His license is going to get suspended because this is a second offense in a year and a half so then am i going to have to go there to get them? Airlines are expensive so I'm not holding my breath for him to fly them back to Washington.
Many parents can't/don't drive. It doesn't mean they shouldn't have access to their kids, surely?
Should I count on having to go there to get them if he can't drive then?
Because they are.But WHY are the courts that way?
Because if the courts acted pre-emptively every time a pissed-off ex thrashed through the door crying about "threatened" and "might", the kids who ACTUALLY NEED HELP RIGHT THE HELL NOW would never be helped. Look around these forums, and see all the multi-page screeds about how horrible the person's ex is, how dangerous, manipulative, abusive, WHATEVER they are - walls and walls of emotional text that have absolutely nothing to do at all with the actual fitness of the parent, and everything to do with the anger, hurt, and occasional vindictiveness of the poster, looking to get back at the ex in any way possible, and using the kids as a smokescreen for their desire to hurt their ex.Why does it take something happening to maybe make something happen.
THAT is why the courts don't act unless something actually happens. Because until something happens? You're just one more vindictive ex to the courts, and they actually have kids in real danger, bleeding on floors and lying comatose in hospitals, who need to be helped first, and you and your "threatened" and "might" need to just get in line and wait your turn.
Why would it be?his inability to drive isn't going to be an issue?
I don't drive. Never have. If my husband and I divorced tomorrow, it would not affect custody or visitation orders in the slightest.
Arguing with us is not going to change your legal reality. It's time to hitch up your britches and get on with the task of dealing with this - admittedly unpleasant - reality, and do what you can to make sure the kids DO have a relationship with their father until they reach the age of majority and can decide for themselves if they want to continue. It's your responsibility, and it's THEIR RIGHT to have both parents present in their lives.