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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    21

    Default Failure to Complete Domestic Violence Classes During Probation

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Tennessee.

    I am actually the wife in this situation worried about my husband who faces these charges. Last August, we were dealing with quite a hardship in our marriage, mainly over money. Instead of communicating, we left everything unsaid. Needless to say, one day it exploded, and I became scared and let the police handle it. It was very embarrassing for me, as well as my husband, but I had no idea what to do in that moment. He spent a night in jail, and moved out for a few weeks while we sought counseling at church and with each other. However, in court, I did not know I could request NOTHING happen to him so I suggested anger management, thinking that would be beneficial, even if he needed it or not.

    The judge told him he would be on probation for one calendar year, and if he stayed out of trouble his record would be cleared, and at my request that he attend a 26 week anger program that involved spouses. We were absolutely fine with this, until we realized how much those classes cost. The judge said in June of 2012, we would have court again to look at his probation, and see if he completed the classes.

    My husband has stayed out of trouble, but every time we attempted to budget the money for the classes it never worked. I understand what my husband did was wrong, and a court order is a court order, but we simply never realized these classes cost so much. We also didn't prepare for such hard financial times, and a new baby on the way, on top of the two we already have. Things are just tight. Obviously I can't walk into court and explain that my husband has changed, because the judge gave him orders, but what can we do?

    We never really knew how to handle this, given neither one of us have records, nor spend much time in criminal court. Therefore, he has not notified court of our problems, and I do not want him to be seen as trying to get out of classes because he never notified them. What can he do? Should I attend court? Will they simply fine him and make him keep the charges, despite his clean record on probation? Can he request more time to take the classes? Do they offer help with the cost?

    I've asked for advice on this matter from a "Mother Forum Site" and they were nothing but negative in helping me. My husband knows what he did was wrong, and as his wife we have worked through that problem. Even in court for the "no contact order" our judge made us watch other's get divorced by making an example of us that we should fight through this small slip up, that we both realized was over money, not anger. That alone, was a changing point, but we must get through this slip up of not being able to finance these classes and now his court date is approaching! Please help!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Given Probation. Wife Insisted Anger Management. Haven't Completed Class

    If there was a money issue, yes, you should have notified the court long before now. Your husband should honestly try to speak with an attorney to see if there's a chance he can get an extension to take the classes; but with a new baby, what has changed in your financial situation? If nothing has changed, you still can't afford them, correct?

    Was there only one option given in terms of where the classes could be taken?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    1,376

    Default Re: Given Probation. Wife Insisted Anger Management. Haven't Completed Class

    Has he checked for any sliding fee scales?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    21

    Default Re: Failure to Complete Domestic Violence Classes During Probation

    Financially, our income was literally cut in half, and it was not high to begin with. We make JUST enough to cover basic bills now, nothing luxury. I am 2 months shy of having my degree and being able to find a job, but I'm also due in October, so I can't exactly pick up and work either unless I know I'll make enough to cover daycare and bring in income. Where court was held is not the same town we live in now. We were told he can take the classes here in the town we live in, but they wanted 100 dollars just to sign up and then 50-75 dollars a class...and it's a 26 week class. If he has to keep the charges, that's fine. It is something he is prepared to deal with, even paying fines as we can afford to pay them back. However, as his wife, I am terrified my husband will go to jail. What are the odds of that? Pretty high? The judges we have met, where court will be held, all seem fairly friendly and supporting, however a court order is a court order. But I am not sure if his criminal record being expunged was based on staying "good" on his probation AND my request of classes, or just the probation. It was my choice for the classes, so is there any kind of chance he could get an extension, or move the court date to start and try to finish them? I feel quite silly having to ask this, given we're adults, and this should have been handled, but it wasn't.

    I do not think so. What is that?

    Quote Quoting viol8te
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    Has he checked for any sliding fee scales?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Failure to Complete Domestic Violence Classes During Probation

    He needs to speak to his probation officer, too.

    Has he done that yet?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Second star to the right...
    Posts
    323

    Default Re: Failure to Complete Domestic Violence Classes During Probation

    Quote Quoting John.Byars79
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    Financially, our income was literally cut in half, and it was not high to begin with. We make JUST enough to cover basic bills now, nothing luxury. I am 2 months shy of having my degree and being able to find a job, but I'm also due in October, so I can't exactly pick up and work either unless I know I'll make enough to cover daycare and bring in income.
    I do not think so. What is that?
    You can’t change the past, but having just read your (and your husband’s) posting history there is a quite a dramatic history with him, his ex, his parents, etc. In one of your posts you indicate you have been in the relationship with your current husband for two years. It sounds like it was a whirlwind romance with your husband since you also indicate you already have a daughter with your husband and a new baby on the way.

    If you are going to plan better financially going forward, you also need to look at how you go about financial planning.

    Quote Quoting John.Byars79
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    If he has to keep the charges, that's fine. It is something he is prepared to deal with, even paying fines as we can afford to pay them back.
    How can you afford to pay fines of an unknown amount when you can’t afford the cost of classes? Are you banking on fines being cheaper? I wouldn't make that bet. Also, your husband might want to consider the court may view his failure to start classes as failure to take any accountability?

    In terms of the conviction remaining on his record, please read a bit about legislation passing through Tennessee right now that will seriously strengthen punishment for repeat offenders, should this occur again.

    Quote Quoting John.Byars79
    View Post
    However, as his wife, I am terrified my husband will go to jail. What are the odds of that? Pretty high? The judges we have met, where court will be held, all seem fairly friendly and supporting, however a court order is a court order. But I am not sure if his criminal record being expunged was based on staying "good" on his probation AND my request of classes, or just the probation. It was my choice for the classes, so is there any kind of chance he could get an extension, or move the court date to start and try to finish them? I feel quite silly having to ask this, given we're adults, and this should have been handled, but it wasn't.I do not think so. What is that?
    You keep blaming yourself for this predicament because you asked for classes. DON’T BLAME YOURSELF. This is not your fault. The classes were ordered by a judge because your husband made the choice to use physical force or violence during an argument. This predicament isn't because you asked a judge for classes, this predicament is because he used violence. Anyway, it might help you to know that anger management classes are typically ordered and there is a better than strong chance in Tennessee that they would have been ordered had you said nothing and hadn't requested them. This isn’t your fault.

    You are worrying tremendously, and I would be too in your shoes. It concerns me though that your husband isn’t taking more accountability here: he knows you are pregnant, he knows there are two small kids at home, he knows that he had to enroll in classes or face potential consequences. You don’t deserve to be dealing with the burden of this situation right now, wondering what is going to happen, and wishing your husband were stepping up. Even the fact the posts on this subject are coming from you makes me a bit concerned as to who is facing the burden of this situation.

    I think education is a good thing, and your college degree will serve you well. In the spirit of education, I really suggest you take a little time and read some of the books that are in the “bookstore” on AARDVARC’s website about domestic violence in relationships. I am a bit worried about you now and in the future.

    Good luck.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    21

    Default Re: Failure to Complete Domestic Violence Classes During Probation

    He doesn't have a probation officer. He was simply told he was on "probation" for a year, and to not get in any kind of trouble for that year if he wanted to be expunged.

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    He needs to speak to his probation officer, too.

    Has he done that yet?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: Given Probation. Wife Insisted Anger Management. Haven't Completed Class

    Marriage in trouble. Husband in legal trouble and on probation. We are broke and have kids kids. Hey, lets have another one to solidify our commitment to each other!!! You both need to seriously realign your priorities. You have placed the next 18 years of both your lives in doubt.

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