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  1. #1
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    May 2012
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    Default Assault Against Adult Daughter

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: WA

    I am an adult female but my father undid my bikini top without my permission and sexually harassed me continuously while my son and I lived with him and step-mom last year. Is this assault and if it is 6 months later, can I file a complaint with police? He also asked me to strip naked so he could get an erection, and made alot of other lewd, inappropriate and disgusting comments. He then told me he was trying to make me "feel better" as the men I dated didn't call me back. It took me months to get over the shock and now I want some justice. I wrote to him after we moved into emergency accommodation and let him know that what he did was not okay, was not my fault and was completely unacceptable. I did not know if I can have anything done seeing as I am an adult and not a minor.

  2. #2
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    Jan 2010
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    New Jersey
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    Default Re: Assault Against Adult Daughter

    The statute of limitations is 1 year in WA. You will need to report the incident right away if you plan to have him prosecuted or sue him civilly.
    I'm not a lawyer, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.......

  3. #3
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    May 2012
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    126

    Default Re: Assault Against Adult Daughter

    I'll bet the county DA won't be eager to devote time to that allegation......first question by any defense attorney is "Tell us why you waited until now to report this".....its gonna sound like a "get even scheme" did anyone witness him removing your clothing.....your mother or your son and they're gonna be testifying in open court ??

    PS Your step mother will not be eager to testify aganist her husband so he can go to jail or pay a $$$ Fine.

  4. #4
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    May 2012
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    9

    Default Re: Assault Against Adult Daughter

    To pat2899, to answer your question, it's called shock and not wanting anymore trauma at the time. We chose to move in to emergency accommodation due to his actions and I was struggling to just keep our head above water. I could not deal with anymore stress as I am suffer from a chronic illness and was very run down and sick after this incident. I am unsure if you have ever witnessed/been party to an awful assault/situation but if you are an attorney, with al due respect, I am glad you are not MY attorney. Sorry, but you seem to lack compassion and knowledge of this type of occurrence.

    I would be willing to take a lie detector test to "prove" all of my allegations - and there are many. I simply want compensation for the breach of promise on a fake job and moving 2000 miles away, only to encounter a devastating situation. I plan to sue him in a civil suit. I will happily take a lie detector test to testify for all of the sexual harassment, verbal and physical assault.

    Do other people have witnesses to rape, assault? No. Do these victims report it much later than the incident occurs? Often.

    To anyone else on this forum, I realize much of this will be my word against his. (My son witnessed him coming at me calling me a c*&t over and over and being aggressive coming at me. There are also many texts which I guess can be court ordered of him calling me a stupid b%^^h and of me telling him what he did was NOT okay). Can I take a lie detector test and can he be made to take one too?

    I have nothing to hide and only want justice. We moved 2000 miles away. left a decent job, a great school etc for a job he promised of $40k a year (which was a joke in the first place as the company was a farce). He then acted in a manner so devastating that my young son and I had to move into emergency accommodation. I now cannot find adequate work and want to move back to TX. We paid $4200 for moving, $800 for plane tickets, $250 to move dog, $600 for storage. I have lost a steady income and I am also dealing with the trauma that my own father could sexually harass me and assault me. It is not about "getting even" - it is about him suffering consequences of his actions and paying me for the loss of what I spent to move here and for a fantasy job for him (that was not even viable) so we can get back on our feet and be "made whole".

    Also, my dad and step-mom are upper middle class and try to keep up appearances. There are many dark secrets there that they try to keep hidden and worried about their reputation. This case would devastate them but am I not to seek justice due to this? I am so angry now that they have carried on in their lives unscathed while my son and I have been deeply hurt. It is not about getting even. It is about justice.

  5. #5
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Assault Against Adult Daughter

    the law is typically very cold. What Pat gave you was a realistic appraisal of the situation.

    you need to stay away from the cop shows on television. Lie detector tests are not as common as they make one believe and are meaningless when it comes to evidence in court (they are not accepted in court as evidence).

    I simply want compensation for the breach of promise on a fake job and moving 2000 miles away, only to encounter a devastating situation.
    this makes no sense but the statement itself strongly supports pat's statement about this being a "getting even" situation and not actually some crime you are concerned with.

    If you want to report this to the police, do so. Your time is limited. I would suspect nothing will come of it but you can try.

    If you want to attempt to sue him for the costs you incurred, realize it has nothing to do with him taking your top off. Attempting to demand money in repayment in exchange for not reporting the alleged crime is blackmail and illegal. Be very cautious you do not stray into that territory. Given your further statements, it sounds like you are on the verge of some such attempt.

    (My son witnessed him coming at me calling me a c*&t over and over and being aggressive coming at me. There are also many texts which I guess can be court ordered of him calling me a stupid b%^^h and of me telling him what he did was NOT okay).
    sorry but that in itself is not actionable. A person has a right to speak their mind typically.

  6. #6
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    May 2012
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    9

    Default Re: Assault Against Adult Daughter

    Thank you for post. I do NOT talk to the man and I am not planning on blackmailing him so not sure why you assumed this was part of my plan. I want justice for what he has done. Period. Is this him getting even by him having to pay"" for his actions? It s called consequences. If I cannot use a lie detector than I have to only hope he would not lie under oath (doubtful I guess!).

    Hi there and thank you for post. Do I have to report this first to sue him in civil court? I have two issues here I want dealt with in civil court: the assaults and the move for a false job which lead to great financial hardship.

  7. #7
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Assault Against Adult Daughter

    concerning an attempt to sue for sexual assault:

    no, you would not have to report it as a crime either first or at all in order to sue but one generally does because you are claiming there was a crime. Not reporting it tends to suggest it was not really a big issue for you which would mean it may not be seen as an assault since a sexual assault requires an unwanted or undesirable touching or action and if it isn't a crime to you, how would you convince anybody it was actually objectionable to you in a personal manner. Beyond that, there is likely no financial justification for such a suit, especially given the actions mentioned. While I am not saying removing your top is acceptable, it is not going to be worth much of anything in a court, if anything at all.

    Then, the other reason for allowing the criminal case to go forward before suing in civil court is; if the defendant loses in criminal court, it is an almost guaranteed win in civil court. If there is no criminal conviction, or even a suit, you would have to prove everything yourself. That is more difficult to do than you might think.

    You do realize that you will have to fit the bill for an attorney out of your pocket, right? This is not some personal injury or malpractice situation where there may be attorneys lined up to fight it on contingency. The possible award does not justify a contingency contract.

    =momjac;618086]Thank you for post. I do NOT talk to the man and I am not planning on blackmailing him so not sure why you assumed this was part of my plan. I want justice for what he has done.
    because of this:

    Also, my dad and step-mom are upper middle class and try to keep up appearances. There are many dark secrets there that they try to keep hidden and worried about their reputation.
    that statement is irrelevant unless there is some intent to use it to your benefit such as I suggested might be in your mind.

    concerning the suit for the damages you incurred due to the promise of work (and realize I know almost nothing of that situation so whether this is truly applicable or not I cannot determine nor say but this sounds like the most likely action available to you):

    http://digitalcommons.law.seattleu.e...0&context=sulr

    http://heinonline.org/HOL/LandingPag...v=28&id=&page=

  8. #8
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    May 2012
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    9

    Default Re: Assault Against Adult Daughter

    Thank you again for reply. I am on low income due to being on disability so may qualify for Northwest Justice program. I do not want to ruin anyone's life but the horror of the situation (all of it combined) is so unbelievable and has caused much distress, damage and anguish. I have been deeply hurt (as has my son) and had I known all of this, we never would have moved here. (I cant help but blame myself.)

    So the DA will decide if I have a case to take him to court for "assault" and it may not even go to criminal court? The fact that he touched me inappropriately and made lewd comments about my getting naked so he could go and masturbate are maybe not enough for a case correct? It embarrasses me to even say this now and I am thankful this is anonymous. I don't know what to do. I have forgiven and moved on so many times in my life as I am a positive person but this situation has been truly damaging in so many aspects. What should I do and do I even have a leg to stand on? What would you advise if I were your client?

    "Also, my dad and step-mom are upper middle class and try to keep up appearances. There are many dark secrets there that they try to keep hidden and worried about their reputation."

    I said this almost to let you know he is not a lower class bum - not sure WHY I said this. Just embarrassed and ashamed that this has happened. I don't know if that makes sense to you. I know crimes happen all of the time and class has nothing to do with it....

  9. #9
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    Jan 2006
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    Default Re: Assault Against Adult Daughter

    momjac;618104]

    So the DA will decide if I have a case to take him to court for "assault" and it may not even go to criminal court?
    correct. A da will generally not take a case they do not believe is winnable. It makes no sense to spend many thousands of the public's dollars to attempt to prosecute a person they know there is almost no chance of convicting.


    The fact that he touched me inappropriately and made lewd comments about my getting naked so he could go and masturbate are maybe not enough for a case correct?
    the touching, yes. The lewd comments; generally no since a person does have a freedom of speech in the US. The speech may be supporting proof that the actions were not innocent acts so in combination with the acts, they are important. Alone they would not be actionable.

    It embarrasses me to even say this now and I am thankful this is anonymous. I don't know what to do. I have forgiven and moved on so many times in my life as I am a positive person but this situation has been truly damaging in so many aspects. What should I do and do I even have a leg to stand on?
    What would you advise if I were your client?
    I am not an attorney (as noted in the signature line of every post) so I cannot advise you as a lawyer.



    I said this almost to let you know he is not a lower class bum - not sure WHY I said this.
    fair enough but realize that simple comments can make a world of difference in any lawsuit.

    Just embarrassed and ashamed that this has happened.
    why would you be ashamed? While I am also not a mental health counselor, I do know enough to state that you have nothing to be ashamed of due to being assaulted. That is a common feeling of victims but you need to understand you did nothing to be ashamed of so don't be ashamed of what happened. It is the aggressor that should be ashamed. Embarrassment is a natural reaction to the situation but again, you should not feel embarrassed for another's actions. I have less trouble with people being embarrassed than ashamed. Embarrassment is what it is. A victim has no reason for shame.

  10. #10
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    Sep 2005
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    California
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    Default Re: Assault Against Adult Daughter

    Quote Quoting momjac
    View Post
    I am an adult female but my father undid my bikini top without my permission
    Okay ... he pulled the string on the back. Did your top fall off? Did it expose you to him or others?

    and sexually harassed me continuously while my son and I lived with him and step-mom last year.
    Being crude to another adult is rarely criminal And as an adult, you could have (legally) left the situation.

    Is this assault and if it is 6 months later, can I file a complaint with police?
    Tugging at a piece of clothing could be considered an assault. Though I doubt that you will get the police all that excited to spend much time on it for the reasons already articulated by others. And as Pat suggested, the time delay will play against you ... espeically if it comes out to appear that you are playing this card for financial support.

    If you were not exposed to him as a result of him pulling the bikini top string, then I doubt you would see a criminal filing.

    He also asked me to strip naked so he could get an erection, and made alot of other lewd, inappropriate and disgusting comments.
    Crude, but not generally criminal.

    I wrote to him after we moved into emergency accommodation and let him know that what he did was not okay, was not my fault and was completely unacceptable.
    You are right, such actions are crude, lewd, and unacceptable. They are. however, most likely lawful.
    **********
    Retired Cal Cop Sergeant & Teacher

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    Love mercy,
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