My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Washington
I am the mother, my 8 year old son has lived with me always. his biological father and i split when our child was 2. the state went after him for child support then due to my son being on state medical benefits, i have never modified it and it has been the same since then. I was recently informed by my ex that he has a new job at higher rate of pay and more hours. He also stated that he will not be having his usual visits due to his work hours. Pretty much he said he will no longer be around, no school activities or sports. Now my ex has never been regular with his visits from day one. there will be months where he will have him every weekend as i have let him then a few more months of nothing at all especially in the spring and summer when he likes to go party or 4 wheeling. The last 3 visits were about 2 months ago and my son informed me that he was sleeping on my ex's new girlfriends couch. My ex and i had words about this and i told him it was unacceptable, but he said it was only because he had no food in his house, which also raised a red flag for me. My ex and i spilt due to him being violent with me for about 4 years, i finally got enough guts to leave him after being abused for a long time but i was too stupid to ever report him. Since then i have married a wonderful man who i have two other children with. My husband would love to adopt my son but we know that cannot happen unless my ex terminates his parental rights. I have also checked into modifying child support and after the worksheet was filled out and all of our incomes put in, said my ex should be paying 609 per month. THis is almost 3 times the amount he has been paying. I would love to offer him the chance to sign over parental rights so he does not have to pay this, however if he does not chose this i would like to move forward on a parenting plan that gives me as much custody as possibly, residential and decision making. Currently i have a protection order for my son against my ex mom due to her trying to take him from school and sporting events without anyones knowledge or permission. My ex has never abused my son that i am aware of but my son is scared of him and worries about getting into trouble for coming home telling me things such as him spending the night at his girlfriends house, the places they go and things that are done and said. Of course i make my son feel as comfortable as possibly when he offers this info, i want him to be able to tell me whatever bothers him however when i hear of things such as my ex sleeping with the neighbor girl while him and his girlfriend are mad at each other, and the pictures of naked girls all over my ex bedroom wall its difficult to not get upset. I have explained these things are harmful to the child but my ex thinks i am just too strict. Now that he has willingly said he is not going to be around i would like to try and get full custody or possibly have my husband adopt. I don't know if these things are relevant in court but i do have letters from my ex admitting he has hit him several times, including his signature. At the time he thought this was a way to get me back but i saved the letters ever since just in case. i woudl like to know if anyone has been thru anything similar, how to pursue this and if i have a case to build on.....granted i have specific situations documented with details and dates of missed visits and everything that has been happening