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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2012

    Question protecting myself during break up

    My question involves a marriage in the state of:Illinois

    Relationship details: Same Sex partnership for 2.5 years, living together for 1.5 years, did not have civil union. Raising a supporting her two children (11 and 9) from her previous marriage.

    She has decided to end our relationship, without trying to work things out. Decided to do so in a 3 day time span. At first, she said she did not want me to move out and that we would work out a living situation. Well that changed 2 days later, and she gave me 12 days to move out. We share a house that we both provide for financially however it is solely in her name. It was purchased while we were together and was a complete rehab that I did most of the work myself. For over the past year, I have been unemployed. I get a good amount of money from unemployment, so I am still able to keep up with my share of support for house and the children. We have managed our finances as a married couple. I assumed the role of housewife/mom with household duties and the kids, while she has been able to concentrate on her career and advancement. She has threatened to take legal action, if I do not move out by May 5th. Do I have any rights to stay in the house?

    Second question, my car and car insurance is in her name. She had better credit so we were able to get 0% interest for the loan. I have made all the payments and she has always said it was my car. I am going to continue to make the payments and drive the car. She has agreed to this as she has no need for the car with her car being a company car already. I am worried that she will change her mind like she did with me staying at the house. Or even worse, her getting mad and reporting it stolen. Is there anything I can do protect myself from this happening?

    Thank you

    *thank you for moving to proper forum. I had just noticed and was going to delete

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2011

    Default Re: Protecting Myself During Break Up

    You can stay until she formally evicts you via local laws. Before it gets to that point, I would pretend to be amicable and get the title to the vehicle into your name. You can change the insurance at the same time. You are entitled to nothing for renovation work.

  3. #3

    Default Re: protecting myself during break up

    As for the vehicle, there isn't much you can do. She is on the title and registration; according to the state of Illinois she is the legal owner, regardless who has made payments on it. Your best bet is to "stop making payments", get another car after you move-out and get on with your life.

  4. #4

    Default Re: protecting myself during break up

    Short of a lease to the contrary, the law will consider you a month to month tenant in her home (noting that there was no mention of a quit claim or anything else that would establish legal ownership or a portion thereof). As such, she'd need to follow IL eviction processes, which means she'd need to serve you a 30 day notice. After that, she can ask the court to evict. If she attempts to take action to remove you without following that process, she opens herself to liability if you sue her for unlawful eviction. Ultimately however, if she wants you out, you'll go - as you have no ownership of the residence. It's really only a question of how much each side wants to fight about it and drag it out in court. But ultimately your rights to stay in the house are limited to those of a tenant with a 30 day notice requirement.

    On the car issue, you can't stop anyone from reporting anything. All you can do is deal with the situation if she chooses to do so. If she does, you may have a case against her in court for filing a false report and seeking compensation for any associated fallout (such as being arrested). The best way to protect yourself is to hand her the keys to the car that is in her name, which you've in effect been renting, and get a vehicle of your own. Consider this: if you made the last payment on the car tomorrow, and it was paid off, do you think she's going to sign the title over to you? Do you have some contract that you can prove in court where she agreed to title the vehicle to you once it was paid off?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2012

    Default Re: protecting myself during break up

    Thank You for your response. That was what I had thought regarding the housing situation. Regarding the car, yes I do believe she would sign over the title if it was paid off tomorrow. We are suppose to be sitting down this week to discuss all finalizing of financials and other responsibilities. Should I ask her to sign a statement or contract regarding the car?

    I have one other question, there is a credit card balance for a card in her name that was used to pay for house improvements and family vacations. I want to assume half of the responsibilities regarding this debt as I do not feel it is fair to leave her with all of it since it was spent while we were together. Would a contract here also be in both of our best interest? And I assume it will be in my interest to keep receipts and records of all payments to her for credit card debt and for the car payments?

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