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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    6

    Default Ex Gets Re-Married, Quits Working Full Time- Now Wants Child Support

    My question involves child support in the State of: Tennessee

    My ex-wife and I share 50/50 custody of one child. At the time of divorce she made 75k per year, I earned 40k. We agreed to her paying child support in the amount of $250 per month and she would get to claim him on her taxes. One year after our divorce she re-married and later that year she gave birth to their child. They soon discovered the child has a serious genetic disease. She went on leave from work, and I told her not to worry about paying me child support since she wasn't working. She just recently resumed working again, only now it is part-time and she is making 18k. She is now suing me for child support based on her new income because she says she needs the money. I asked her why she doesn't go back to working full time (they are still offering her 75k) and allow her husband (who works part-time learning to become electrician) to care for the child to ease their financial woes. She says she doesn't trust that he can care for the child as well as she does. I've helped her in every way I can, but now that I'm newly engaged and my fiance is on bed-rest with twins, I absolutely cannot afford the $350 a month she is asking for. I am struggling financially and on the verge of losing my home. They have a nice home and 2 very nice cars (unlike myself) and their wealthy families are paying their mortgage and car notes for them since she isn't working full time. She also receives money from a charity for children with this disease. Although she doesn't claim the money she receives in help from family (I'm not sure if she claims the charity money), does that go toward her income? Can she just choose not to work full time because she doesn't "trust" her husband or her family with her child's care, and leave me footing the bill?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Ex Gets Re-Married, Quits Working Full Time- Now Wants Child Support

    Nope - whatever she is gifted is not going to count as income.

    Given that she has a child with a serious disease, there is a chance that the court will NOT impute her a full-time wage equal to what she was earning before....I honestly think you should speak to a local attorney immediately.

    Please do so asap.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    6

    Default Re: Ex Gets Re-Married, Quits Working Full Time- Now Wants Child Support

    Thank you for the quick response! Wow, I'm surprised to hear that she doesn't have to count money that is gifted. I know she receives gifts in the thousands every month, it is the only reason she is able to maintain her expensive home and cars while she works part time. Although her child does have a serious disease, her husband and other family members are easily able to care for the child so that she may go back to work. She refuses to let them because she doesn't trust them. Would a judge consider that? She is being shockingly cruel toward me considering the amount of help and kindness I have extended to her since her child's diagnosis. I am currently working with a local lawyer whom is trying to help me save my home from foreclosure, and he told me to forward him the email so that he can have his partner take a look at it for me. He says the judge always considers the child's best interest, and there is absolutely no way possible for me to come up with an additional $350 per month right now. I'm barely skimming by as it is. To make a choice between jail for non-payment of CS and losing my home I will have to lose my home. This has been my son's home since birth, losing this house cannot possibly be in his best interest.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Ex Gets Re-Married, Quits Working Full Time- Now Wants Child Support

    Have you actually run the numbers through the TN child support calculator to see what you might be paying based upon a 50/50 timeshare?

    The child's best interest is served by both parents supporting the child. And yes, the court can basically tell you to down-size. It happens.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Ex Gets Re-Married, Quits Working Full Time- Now Wants Child Support

    I haven't run the numbers through, but she says her lawyer has and that $350 a month is what it comes up with (for 50/50 custody and with her making 18k and me 40k). Of course I'll double check, but generally she's a pretty honest woman so I believe the numbers. It would be impossible for me to downsize though. My home is a small rancher and only worth 118k. When the twins are born we will have 5 people living in 1200sq ft. With the foreclosure I won't be able to buy again for at least 3yrs and rental prices for a home similar in size in my area runs about double what my mortgage is now, which is unaffordable. I'm in a very serious bind. Damn.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: Ex Gets Re-Married, Quits Working Full Time- Now Wants Child Support

    You should request she be imputed an income equal to the income she is refusing to accept.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Ex Gets Re-Married, Quits Working Full Time- Now Wants Child Support

    Please please please please please please a gazillion times please - please speak to a local attorney.

    I'm hoping for you that you're not ordered to pay anything exorbitant - but the bottom line remains, both parents are expected to support the child even if one is (for example) married to Donald Trump.

    Have the attorney explain that she is voluntarily under-employed. Have the attorney play on the fact that she CAN go back to work, that she DOES have alternatives to her staying home part-time, and hope that you have a judge who isn't simply going to take pity on a Mom with a sick child. Yes, I've seen it happen. It might not seem right or fair, but it can happen. And you do currently earn twice what she earns. The court might (perhaps unfairly) also wonder why you're having more children if you can't afford to support the one already in existence.

    I hope someone else can chime in, because I'm really not sure what else can be said here. Maybe someone can think outside of the box a little better than I can right now.

    Out of interest - do you happen to know the nature of the child's medical condition?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Ex Gets Re-Married, Quits Working Full Time- Now Wants Child Support

    I will be speaking with an attorney Monday. Let me be clear though, I absolutely expect to support my son, my family is my utmost priority. Honestly the main reason I allowed the ex to stop paying child support is because I didn't want the burden of paying me to negatively impact her relationship with him (if she gets depressed, he won't get quality care). Hell, her husband is the man she was having an affair with while we were married (and the reason we got divorced), but I haven't let that affect my treatment of her.. for my sons sake. It's unfortunate that she has a sick child, but if the judge is looking out for my sons best interest, surely he would see that there is no way I can downgrade any further. Her home on the other hand is very nice and they just bought a brand new Titan truck (paid for with charity money). They seem to be doing just fine, I don't understand why she is now coming after me. Especially when she knows how badly I need the help for once. Since she has a sick child she assumes that no matter what happens in my life, her situation is priority (she has made that very clear). As for the twins, they are the results of a failed IUD and pure dumb luck. Her midwife assured us it was one of the safest and most reliable forms of birth control available. As my luck would go, it failed. We assumed adding an additional child to the family would be manageable (she makes about 40k a year as well), but now that she is so sick and there are 2 babies, she won't be able to return to work for some time.. which leaves me in this current situation. I am an honest man, and I've tried to handle this situation in the most morally and financially responsible way possible, but it has gotten me no where. I don't want my son to suffer for my mistakes but I don't know how to fix this.
    (the child has Hurler Syndrome)

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