I have not discussed with an immigration lawyer yet, the end of her visa has gone from 6 months to just over two in what seems like over night.
I can't return to her home country with her for more than 1-2 week's time at most, as I have a career, house, mortgage here, and more importantly, children, an ex-wife, and elderly parents who I don't provide constant care for, but they live close and I am able to go over in the event of an emergency. And our lives are here. And before it's asked, the children and the fact that she works as an au pair have absolute zero bearing on each other. We met by coincidence, and dated for a while before I was aware she was au pair. Also, I'm 28, she's 26, so this is not a 40-20 age gap.
It seems like I'm going to be meeting with an immigration lawyer sooner rather than later. I assumed that the J1 clause of hardship on spouse by separation would be easier to obtain, but I guess not. However one could easily argue that newly-weds being immediately separated for 2 years would be pretty catastrophic to the marriage.

