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  1. #1

    Default Accused of Neglect for Trying to Move Out of Parents Home With My Child

    My question involves guardianship in the State of: California

    Im 18 years old, I have a 4month old baby, I moved out but was threatened by my mother who said she was going to have me arrested for leaving and child abandonment (I tried to move out with my son but she wouldn't give me him, and when i did take him, she called the cops on me. And yes i am the sole legal guardian of my son). I haven't graduated high school yet, but i want to get my GED. I was wondering what rights and laws do i have on my side? I know that im tech still a minor under cali law because i havent graduated yet and i've also heard that i don't need parental permission to get a GED. I really need help because i can no longer live in the environment that i do now. My mom is delusional and is always threatening to have me arrested for "anything she can think of". I refuse to raise my son around my family and yes i am aware of grandparents rights. Please help me, i really need to get away with my son. Thank you.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: 18 Years Old, Trying to Move Out with My Baby Mother is Threateni to Have Me Arre

    Quote Quoting aestheticlizz
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    My question involves guardianship in the State of: California

    Im 18 years old, I have a 4month old baby, I moved out but was threatened by my mother who said she was going to have me arrested for leaving and child abandonment (I tried to move out with my son but she wouldn't give me him, and when i did take him, she called the cops on me. And yes i am the sole legal guardian of my son). I haven't graduated high school yet, but i want to get my GED. I was wondering what rights and laws do i have on my side? I know that im tech still a minor under cali law because i havent graduated yet and i've also heard that i don't need parental permission to get a GED. I really need help because i can no longer live in the environment that i do now. My mom is delusional and is always threatening to have me arrested for "anything she can think of". I refuse to raise my son around my family and yes i am aware of grandparents rights. Please help me, i really need to get away with my son. Thank you.

    At 18, you are a legal adult - you can take your son, and move wherever you want to move.

    As far as grandparents rights go? Your mother has none. She will have none, until and unless a court awards her any rights - and nothing you've said here would suggest that she even has standing.

    Relax - do what you need to do to keep yourself and your baby safe.

  3. #3

    Default Re: 18 Years Old, Trying to Move Out with My Baby Mother is Threateni to Have Me Arre

    So she threatened to call police and have you arrested. Then she called. Didn't GET arrested, huh? That's because mom has a lot of wishful thinking, and very little knowledge of the legal standing you enjoy as an 18 year old - including the legal ability to walk out of mom's house with your child, and mom having nothing to do about it until and unless she's got a court's order to the contrary. For what it's worth, that coin has two sides, and while mom can't make you stay, she doesn't have to LET you stay either.

  4. #4

    Default Re: 18 Years Old, Trying to Move Out with My Baby Mother is Threateni to Have Me Arre

    It's just so hard at the same time because Im not even allowed to have a job, a phone, or even leave the house. I'm not even sure what the hell i can even do.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: 18 Years Old, Trying to Move Out with My Baby Mother is Threateni to Have Me Arre

    Honey, you can - literally - do WHATEVER you want to do! (except stay if your Mom wants you out)

    Unless our Mom has had you declared legally incompetent, YOU are the only person in control of both yourself and your child (assuming baby's Dad doesn't have custody).

  6. #6
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    Default Re: 18 Years Old, Trying to Move Out with My Baby Mother is Threateni to Have Me Arre

    Quote Quoting aestheticlizz
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    It's just so hard at the same time because Im not even allowed to have a job, a phone, or even leave the house. I'm not even sure what the hell i can even do.
    Where are you planning to move with the child?
    Quote Quoting aestheticlizz
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    ...and when i did take him, she called the cops on me.
    And then what happened. The police found you where? You weren't arrested, but you voluntarily moved back in with mom? Why? What did the police say?

  7. #7

    Default Re: 18 Years Old, Trying to Move Out with My Baby Mother is Threateni to Have Me Arre

    I know that, but california has a crappy law on how even if your 18 and havent graduated high school you are still a minor.
    I had a choice of either being arrested on the spot for "running away" or abandoning my child (When i honestly didn't) and having him taken away to the state OR i could go back home. I obviously choose to go back home.

    I want to move to Arizona. This whole thing started because she doesn't like my boyfriend. But at the same time I don't even know how to get away from her because she is always threatening to have my son taken away by cps or that they already have a case against me, me arrested, that shes put a restraining order on my boyfriend and his family, and that shes "TRYING" to get conversatorship over me. Which she refuses to show proof of anything. She refuses to give me my mail, my birth certificate, or my ssn. And when i had the police show up because she was refusing me of my things, she CLAIMED she didn't know where it was (and my mom is one of those people who will NEVER lose important information like that, she has it neatly organized in folders and such.). I honestly don't know what to do.

  8. #8

    Default Re: 18 Years Old, Trying to Move Out with My Baby Mother is Threateni to Have Me Arre

    Quote Quoting aestheticlizz
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    I know that, but california has a crappy law on how even if your 18 and havent graduated high school you are still a minor.

    No. CA Family Code very clearly spells out:

    FAMILY.CODE SECTION 6500-6502

    6500. A minor is an individual who is under 18 years of age. The period of minority is calculated from the first minute of the day on
    which the individual is born to the same minute of the corresponding day completing the period of minority.

    6501. An adult is an individual who is 18 years of age or older.


    It does NOT go on to say anything about "unless they haven't graduated high school". There are a lot of websites out there with VERY old information on them, so when you want to know what the law says about any topic, you need to check on the ACTUAL language of the law as published by the legislature. Are you telling us that police officers stood in your home and told you that they would arrest you if you left with your child? Did you get the names of those officers? Similarly, compulsory education ends at 18. Someone is blowing smoke up your skirt. Know what you need to do? Pick up the phone, call your local police department or sheriff's office, and ask to speak to a supervisor. Ask the supervisor if an 18 year old can be arrested for being a runaway. Then listen to the chuckling.


    I had a choice of either being arrested on the spot for "running away" or abandoning my child (When i honestly didn't) and having him taken away to the state OR i could go back home. I obviously choose to go back home.
    And just to confirm, you were ALREADY 18, at the time when police gave you this choice?


    This whole thing started because she doesn't like my boyfriend.
    That's how 65% of problems in families start. The other 35% is because someone is on drugs, with some overlap obviously.



    But at the same time I don't even know how to get away from her because she is always threatening to have my son taken away by cps or that they already have a case against me,
    Then you are either going to need to stand up for yourself or keep living in fear of mom's threats. She doesn't have the power or authority to do most of what she's threatening - at least not on her own. SHE doesn't get to decide if your son gets taken away, that's up to CPS. If CPS hasn't shown up at your house to interview about a problem, then there isn't one.


    have me arrested,
    Nope.


    that shes put a restraining order on my boyfriend and his family,
    THAT she might be able to do. She can ask the judge to order that he stay away from HER and HER HOUSE. If she asks about an order to keep your boyfriend or his family away from YOU when you're NOT at her house, the judge will tell her "nope". As an ADULT, you have the ability to choose to associate with whomever you want, and mom doesn't get to say "boo" about it. All she CAN do is keep people away from HER and her home.


    and that shes "TRYING" to get conversatorship over me.
    Fine. Let her try. Until and unless she actually gets a court to ORDER it, it means nothing. Courts don't grant conservatorships just because someone's mother wants to be controlling of their adult children. Courts grant conservatorship when you are unable, for medical or mental health reasons, to take care of your yourself or make decisions for yourself.


    Which she refuses to show proof of anything.
    Hello? What does that tell you?


    She refuses to give me my mail,
    You're an adult. Go get a PO box.


    my birth certificate, or my ssn.
    Both of these can be replaced.


    And when i had the police show up because she was refusing me of my things, she CLAIMED she didn't know where it was (and my mom is one of those people who will NEVER lose important information like that, she has it neatly organized in folders and such.). I honestly don't know what to do.

    The whole point of being adult is to be autonomous - thinking and doing for youself. Time to put on your big girl panties and figure out how to do some things for yourself - staring by contacting the social security office for a new card, and Googling for how to get a replacement birth certificate (often through your local health department and/or vital records office).

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