Domestic Violence and Intimidation Charges

[WrongfullyAccusedOne]

There's nothing wrong or even unnatural about losing your temper when it's warranted and yelling. Everyone in any sort of relationship has done it and will most likely do it again. It was nothing violent. She gets hysterical when we break up. I'm guessing you've never dated a girl like that or just have never dated at all if I had to explain all of this. Relationship 101...

As for standing up for myself when threatened, even if it caused all of my current problems, I would do it again in a heartbeat. That's just who I am and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I just stood there.

Also, I'm not a violent person but I would rather get my ass kicked then take shit from some guy who has threatened me so many times in the past because of lies she told him.

Anyway, I understand how stupid it was to do that in front of the police, I have no problem taking accountability for that, or anything.

I thought the caller Id on the house phone would be enough but I can definitely get records from the phone company and print off all of the Facebook threats of lying in court to put me away (I can post some screen shots here if it sounds like BS, she's really psycho or something).

I just know if there were a video camera recording the whole thing, and I put it on here, you guys might not be so vindictive about telling me how stupid I am and might understand a little.

Anyway, this isn't at all what I thought this website was about. Aside from 1 or 2 helpful posts, there's angry people trying to insult me. That's hilarious.

[Disagreeable]

I was in a one-sided relationship. I did everything. My girlfriend and I got into another argument.

Anyway, this isn't at all what I thought this website was about. Aside from 1 or 2 helpful posts, there's angry people trying to insult me. That's hilarious.

By your own admission you knew the problem was escalating. Instead of leaving, you let it continue to escalate. When it finally came to an explosive head, you fanned the flames. Now you are mad because the fire department can't protect you? Well, okay, I guess that might make sense to one person in this thread.

[LawResearcherMissy]

As for standing up for myself when threatened, even if it caused all of my current problems, I would do it again in a heartbeat. That's just who I am and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I just stood there.

Then I suggest you keep your attorney on retainer. One of the most important things a person needs to learn when dealing with law enforcement is when to shut the hell up. If you're going to pride yourself in not knowing/caring, you're begging for trouble.

I thought the caller Id on the house phone would be enough

Caller ID can be manipulated. LUDs, not so much.

(I can post some screen shots here if it sounds like BS, she's really psycho or something).

Not necessary. Everyone either has at least one crazy ex in their lives or has sat up all night with a friend who does.

I just know if there were a video camera recording the whole thing, and I put it on here, you guys might not be so vindictive about telling me how stupid I am and might understand a little.

It's not that we don't understand. It's that we don't care. You came here looking for legal information. You got it - never use violent language in front of the cops, take EVERYTHING to your attorney, and only proceed according to your attorney's advice - but you seem to think we should act as a support group, too. Sorry, we only apprise folks of the legal reality, whether they like the answer or not.

Sure, your ex is probably out of her mind, but you're not without culpability here. We didn't put you in this situation, either. You and your big mouth did that, and your insistence that you'd do it again will keep you in trouble.

Unhappy with the answers? You get what you pay for. The snark is free, regardless.

[Disagreeable]

Ohhhh, I forgot.....

Don't do drugs. You could be arrested for having paraphernalia.

[PTPD22]

There's nothing wrong or even unnatural about losing your temper when it's warranted and yelling.

Actually, most of civilized society regards the ability to control ones temper as a virtue.

Everyone in any sort of relationship has done it and will most likely do it again.

Actually, most people DO have the ability to control their temper…at least most people over the age of 8 or so. And, yes, that includes people in “any sort of relationship.”

As for standing up for myself when threatened, even if it caused all of my current problems, I would do it again in a heartbeat. That's just who I am and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I just stood there.

Then there is no point in anyone giving you any advice. So, why ask for it? With this attitude, I predict that negative contact with law enforcement is going to somehow find you on a regular basis.

I’m not excusing the behavior of the person who provoked you. But, how you respond to provocation is YOUR responsibility. If you prefer to be charged with crimes rather than be seen as not “standing up for myself” for being dissed…if that is just who you are…that’s on you. If that is just who you are, then just who you are is an idiot. How about deciding who you want to be rather than accepting who you are? Because, judging from the other responses here, those around you (meaning civilized society) don’t seem to be too pleased with just who you are

[Michael44]

I agree with PTPD22.

You come across as a hothead, and even as a legal matter, ancillary hothead incidents that are going to find their way into proceedings against you are going to influence the finder of fact (judge or jury).

You can be easily manipulated if you are a hothead, and that's not a good way to go through life.

[WrongfullyAccusedOne]

I guess I've gotten lucky all these 26 years with absolutely no trouble with law enforcement. Me and my "hot temper". I raised my voice like most humans do when they're angry. The police never should have been called over that. That's not having poor self-control. Poor self-control is hitting doors and walls and throwing shit around, or maybe even hitting someone. I don't do that.

I'm not trying to excuse myself for anything. I never needed any of you to tell me how stupid it was for saying that in front of police. I've known that since it's happened.

It just seems like I've stricken a nerve with some of you and I'm not sure why. I don't want a support group. I wanted legal advice from someone with legal experience, that's it. Is that why you're offended? Because I wanted to hear from an attorney?

I haven't spoken to my attorney yet but I made an appointment for tomorrow and I'll tell him about what's happened.

The police said I could file a report on harassment but I really don't want her to get in trouble. Even now.

[Disagreeable]

We are not offended. We just defend ourselves against people who can't take criticism based on reality. Ultimately, this only affects you. Good Luck.

[viol8te]

You didn't want legal advice. Your original post suggests that you wanted to run the situation down with people. So, that's what you are getting. The reality is that you committed various acts that would leave someone with concern that you are putting your hands on this young lady. Your comments about how much she should be appreciative of you and your generosity is also a concern. The fact that you continued to yell at her even with her mom on the other end, is a concern. You blaming, minimization and lack of accountability is a concern. Your justification of your actions despite the consequences is a concern. Lumping your behaviours into what most people would do, is a concern.

Your attorney said this is a pice of cake, so what do you want people to say to you? My experience says it's the other way around. Your biased witness against a battered woman, her father and the police. Your going to spend some money on this case. But, you may also want to seek some counseling.

[WrongfullyAccusedOne]

Counseling for what? Take accountability for what? You're apparently only reading bits of what I'm writing because I haven't had any problem admitting my faults. I just don't think you're the least bit realistic.

I talked to her mother today. She saw all of the calls on the phone bill. She knows exactly what her daughter is like and offered to help anyway she can to get these charges dropped. I also found out that the officer had spoken to her step dad that night when I was in the back of the police car and said that he should be brought in because he instigated it. That makes me feel better. Yes, it was still my fault but at least the officer was aware of what happened. So if it's his (and the law's) opinion that I should have been arrested for standing out of my chair and yelling back, I'm fine with that.

I've never lost my temper or become uncontrollable or anything close to that, and it doesn't make any difference in my day if some angry guy on the Internetz doesn't believe me. Just sayin'. If your post is just going to be unhelpful then probably better to save your time!