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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    A little place in Cali.
    Posts
    1

    Default 16 Year Old, Soon to Be 17 Trying to Leave Unhealthy Home

    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: California.

    Well, get ready for me to type a whole load of information, because I need to start from the beginning.

    Basically, my parents are the most unhealthiest, messed up in the head people I've ever known. I want to get away from them, but it seems Emancipation sounds difficult with me having no job or potential legal guardian; which I will explain in a bit.
    In the month of October, my mother had this new phase going on with her- leaving Friday afternoons when my father at work and me getting home from school. She would sometimes even take me out of school the day before on a Thursday or check me out on Fridays.....but she would pack some clothing and belongings (including her nice high heels and pretty dresses) and drop me off home an leave for the whole weekend. She told my father and I she was going to visit a "girlfriend". Well first off all, my mom is not good at amking friends, letting alone even keeping them. This happened for the whole month, and ot was starting to tick me off because I was left to mother my 5 year old sister on the weekends while my dad lazies around on the weekends, and how my mom would drag out her stay long enough to the middle of Sunday night. She would also not say thank you for babysitting and sometimes be rude, I was angry and began thinking things. Like, why was she being like this? How come shes visiting this friend.of.hers whom I never heard of who was supposedly an old friend? Why am I now in charge of feeding my family and cleaning while my mom is on the computer or on the phone behind closed doors?

    My father began expecting things, and would ask me if I found this suspicious. I sort of already knew her women were, and even my dads sister was saying things like "I think your mother is hiding something. I think its another man."
    I thought so too.

    The word "divorce" was always thrown around in thehouseheld, since my dad has an alcohol and terrifying anger, my mom and I would suffer from abuse. Yes, I would get hit, but I would sacrifice that to defend my mom. I was plain sick of my parents, but mostly at my mom because she never wanted to leave my dad. Also, my dad is in the military, and he has gone to jail twice (as far as I know) because of his violence condoned on my mother and I.

    But after 16 years of domestic abuse and rage, why does she want to leave NOW? Why, you ask? My mom found another man, and both my aunt, my dad, and his parents suspected it.
    so, I hope ive made this all clear. Because this is where things worsen.

    My mom barged in my room, asked why my dad and I were making her feel like a horrible mother. I was crying, sad, and baffled. I simply told her I didn't feel like this conversation and myriad amount of questions was INNAPPROPIATE. and asked her to please get out. She than starts crying histerically and tries to bother my dad, but he felt the same way I did and closed the bedroom door on her. Next thing I know, the cops are at my house and my mother told them my dad and I were "a verbal and physical threat." Like, really, my mom is a trip. She finally started caring for her youngest daughter, and she moved put. Now it was just me and my dad....awkward. I was never close to my dad.

    Instead of explaining what happened during the 3 months she was gone, ilk just say. It was hell. My dad glinted onto me too much, but at least I was able to go out with friends and my boyfriend, which I never experienced before when my mom was living there. My dad lost a lot of weight, and cried and cried. He would ask if we could sleep in the living room, and even once I got the scariest question ever: "Do you want to sleep on the bed together?"

    I was now thinking, what the f%*@ do I do.
    My dad was up for.deployment or for getting stationed to Hawaii, of course now my dad had custody of I, I had.l to go with him. I of course did not want to live with him, so I asked my mom if I could live with her, and she bluntly said no, I have a new life here. I could say that depressed me, I had to move, and now my own mother doesn't want me anymore.

    Is this enough to explain why my parents are messed up? Nah, ill continue, there's more.

    My mom lived the high life in San Diego, earning 100% child care, spousal support, and a little kid. And I'm not in the equation.

    Well, since if I explained more things and incidents, I would start to feel sort for myself and typing all this shows how f%%*ed up everything in my life is. My mom might now come back, but she is changing her mind over and over again to move back in. I do not want to be here to hear any more of it, or be here when she comes back.

    I do not have a job, and surprisingly my aunt who's been the real adult and mature parent in my life doesn't want to get involved because everyone in my family is scared of my parents. Since now my dad is now manipulated by my mother and now I am punished for "disrespecting my mom" and being "jailbsit." ( dating my supportive boyfriend since I was 15, and he was 17. Now hes 19)

    What do I do? How do I get out of here? I cannot eat or sleep anymore, and I cant even look at my parents the same way after having the years of neglect (needed glasses and braces since age 9, ignorance, and dehumanization) and abuse. Im just now done, and by outer family members and close friends, I need to get out of this bad environment. But in afraid to leave my sister, she cant grow up the way I did

    What do I do? I need legal advise and what path should I take to leave? Please help.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,307

    Default Re: 16 Year Old, Soon to Be 17 Trying to Leave Unhealthy Home

    I want to get away from them, but it seems Emancipation sounds difficult with me having no job or potential legal guardian
    No, emancipation is simply not possible if you do not have a job and a proven track record of paying market rate rent, all of your own utilities, food, transportation, medical costs, clothing, and school expenses. "Legal guardian" is nowhere in the equation for those seeking emancipation.

    Your mother's an ass, your father seems to be suffering from depression and he expects you to follow his rules, and you're expected to pitch in with chores and mind your sister from time to time. So? My kids have chores and the eldest minds the younger from time to time, too. Rules, too, even for the 19 year-old. And?

    If you're being abused - actually abused - you call CPS. They will investigate, and if it is merited, you'll be put into foster care.

    "I'm sick of my parents" is not grounds for emancipation. "My parents died in a car crash, and I need to be able to enter into contracts so I can take care of my younger siblings" is.

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