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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    Unhappy Custodial Parent and Boyfriend Live Off of Child Support

    My question involves child support in the State of: North Carolina



    My child's mother established a court order several years ago for my son.The case is up for review and i have received notification of intent to do so.
    The amount of support ordered is $212/mo. The review amount proposed is $786.
    The issue I have is that Custodial parent's live-in boyfriend/father of her recently born child (born in December) has no job. Custodial Parent also has no Job.
    They live off of the food stamps provided for custodial parent and my child, The section 8 housing that NC provides, and the $212 CS payments.
    .
    Custodial parent has said in conversation that she will not pursue CS obligation against boyfriend for his child.

    My Questions:
    Does this constitute theft of support?
    Is this in violation of Government housing regulations?
    Does receiving NC's Assistance require her to pursue Support against him?
    What should i inform the court of?

    My ultimate concern is that my Child is being neglected, the support i provide used to purchase little food,clothes,etc; and instead used for pot and supporting her Boyfriend. If I Inform the court that Section 8 is being violated she will lose her housing-My child will lose his place to live.
    To have the support raised just to support him and his child would be a slap in the face.

    My backround:
    Job to job (Minimum wage) 2000-2008
    Military 2008-present

    Order established in 2004

    Currently 600+ miles from custodial parent and child.

    Married w/ Step-child and biological child since 2010.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Custodial Parent and Boyfriend Live Off of Child Support

    Quote Quoting js1984
    View Post
    The amount of support ordered is $212/mo. The review amount proposed is $786.
    That's a massive jump! Only thing that would impact a jump that big is if you went from flipping burgers to making a nice hefty salary (since support is based on your wages/earnings). Really though, $212 a month is NOTHING. That's $50 a week to cover a portion of housing, utilities, food, clothes, medical care, transportation, etc. The federal poverty level is about $900 per month per person. To get an idea of what you SHOULD be paying (at least a ball park), see this link for North Carolina:

    https://nddhacts01.dhhs.state.nc.us/WorkSheet.jsp

    Mom can ASK for any amount she wants. Doesnt' mean the court won't get a good chuckle out of it or that it's in a realm of a reasonable amount.


    The issue I have is that Custodial parent's live-in boyfriend/father of her recently born child (born in December) has no job.
    He doesn't impact your child support. At all. In any way.


    Custodial Parent also has no Job.
    Does she have a job history? Dating back how long? What earning potential?


    They live off of the food stamps provided for custodial parent and my child,
    If they're able to make it stretch, and your child is eating every day and not malnourished, it's not an issue.


    The section 8 housing that NC provides, and the $212 CS payments.
    If you believe that his presence there constitutes a violation of section 8 housing rules, you can notify them of the potential violation.
    .

    Custodial parent has said in conversation that she will not pursue CS obligation against boyfriend for his child.
    She has the right not to pursue it. Stupid. But legal.

    Does this constitute theft of support?
    Nope.



    Is this in violation of Government housing regulations?
    Might be.



    Does receiving NC's Assistance require her to pursue Support against him?
    Not unless she's receiving assistance for HIS child. She only needs one child to qualify for most benefits like housing. If she wanted more in the way of things like food stamps, she'd have to declare both children, and then yes, the state would go after him for support. For all we know, he's sitting on the couch right now, with a warrant out for his arrest for non-payment of child support that mom is helping him evade. That could open doors of trouble for him, but isn't likely to impact mom, even if she's an "accomplice".


    What should i inform the court of?
    The court is hearing a child support case. It only cares about issues related to child support regarding the specific child in question. Your obligation for your child will be based on the number of your children and your income. The housing issue needs to be taken up with the housing authority.


    My ultimate concern is that my Child is being neglected,
    If you've got reason to think the child is neglected, that means you've notified child protective services, right? If you haven't, the court isn't going to entertain your "concern". If you're only bringing up neglect of your child after being notified of a child support review, your credibility with the court is going to be right into the toilet unless you've got something to BACK UP your claims. Courts work on PROOF. Is the child being physically abused? Malnourished? Sleeping in the cold?


    the support i provide used to purchase little food,clothes,etc;
    Little is all that is legally required. If the child has shelter, running water, a couple of changes of weather appropriate clothing, eats every day, has toilets that flush, and isn't living in a roach infested room, that's enough. The standard for what is minimally required is VERY low, and those are really the only hurdles mom needs to pass muster. If the child HAS those things, the support amount is presumed to be spent providing those things. The downside of having a child with someone that you're not married to and living with to raise the child is that you DON'T get input into how money is spent on the child and the child's living conditions beyond the minimums that are required. Your child may be looking at a lifetime of "minimums", which is why choosing a mother for one's child and being an active and present part of the child's life is so important. Once that choice is made.....


    and instead used for pot and supporting her Boyfriend.
    If you suspect criminal activity, report it to law enforcement. The amount you're paying isn't enough to support an entire household like you're implying. Frankly $200 a month isn't enough for your child, much less the boyfriend you're fixated on.

    If I Inform the court that Section 8 is being violated she will lose her housing
    The court doesn't care, nor does it have the ability to do anything about anything you might report on that issue. If there's a housing problem, there's a housing authority to deal with those issues.


    My child will lose his place to live.
    Then figure out whether it's more important to you that your child have a place to live, or if it's more important to you to try to interfere with the mom/boyfriend situation. Rocking the boat, even if you have valid reason to regarding the boyfriend, could have major negative consequences for your child. These are common dilemmas encountered when not operating as a unified couple to raise one's children. If they get kicked out of section 8 housing and the child ends up living with mom under a bridge or in a car or other situation where those minimums from above are absent, you can attempt to petition the court for custody of the child, but that assumes that you'd be able to FIND mom, attend court, etc. etc. and commute 600 miles repeatedly.


    To have the support raised just to support him and his child would be a slap in the face.
    Again, your support amount is based on support for ONE child within the child support guidelines for your state - no matter how many other children mom has with how many other men or where those men and their children reside. The only way you get to control that is if YOU are married to mom and raising your child with her. Since you're not, it's "nunya". You need to let the whole issue of the boyfriend and his child go.


    Job to job (Minimum wage) 2000-2008. Military 2008-present
    Mom should have sought a review in 2004, assuming that your new career paid more than minimum wage or would have provided medical benefits for the child (often worth more than the wage).

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