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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    4

    Exclamation I Have a Child, and My Mother is Unfit to Care for Us

    My question involves juvenile law in the State of: Missouri.


    Well, a couple weeks ago, before christmas, i pretty much moved out of my mother's house with my eight month old child.
    The reason i left, is because my mother and i got in a fight, not an argument, a real fight. She was on top of me with my child sitting next to me, and i had to defend myself as well as my child. The house she is living in, isn't her's, and has heat in only one room, and no bedroom for myself or my child. we also have no beds, or anything. I only eat when i'm at school, i'm fifteen. I moved in with my friend, and her family and we spent the holidays with them, she didn't buy my daughter or myself anything, and i wouldn't expect her to buy me anything, but i expect her to buy my daughter something. My friend's family bought us gifts, and has food for us. I have a bed of my own, a crib for my baby, and was doing fine. Then my daughter ran out of diapers and wipes, and was low on formula. I messaged my mother asking for her assitance and her exact words were "You need to put your big girl panties on and figure it out yourself." She's since told me that she's not paying for food, diapers, wipes, or daycare. I have found a way to get all of them on my own, and now she is threatening to call the police and report me as a runaway. My friend's mother wants to look into fostering me and my child, is there any way the police wouldn't force me to go back to a home that's cold, no food, no bed?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,521

    Default Re: I Have a Child, and My Mother is Unfit to Care for Us

    You are under 18. That means your mother is GOD. The cops very well can and most likely will drag your little behind right back where it belongs. Legally the only way you are leaving the house without parental permission is if the state removes you, in which case you will not be living with your "friend" but in foster care. If you remain with your friend and her family against your mother's wishes, they can end up in jail. Is that what you want?

    FYI, your mother has no legal obligation whatsoever to provide for your daughter.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: I Have a Child, and My Mother is Unfit to Care for Us

    Sounds like you need to be removed from your mother and put into foster care. It sounds like your child needs to be removed from you and put into foster care. Why should your mother support your child? You had the child. It is your job to provide food, clothing and diapers. Get a job. No, just because you want to upgrade to your friends family, does not mean the court will allow it. Tell dad he needs to support his child also.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,307

    Default Re: I Have a Child, and My Mother is Unfit to Care for Us

    She's since told me that she's not paying for food, diapers, wipes, or daycare.
    Why should she? She didn't make that baby, she bears exactly zero responsibility for it. The care and feeding of your child is 100% YOUR responsibility.

    is there any way the police wouldn't force me to go back to a home that's cold, no food, no bed?
    They are legally obligated to haul you home by your ear if need be. This may come as a surprise to you, but it's not illegal for you to live in a cold house, nor is it illegal for you to have no bed. If your home situation is such that you're not being provided with basic food needs, call CPS.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: I Have a Child, and My Mother is Unfit to Care for Us

    Why should she help me care for my child?

    One, because i'm legally not able to get a job. I'm doing everything i can to support her, i have WIC and i've went through every legal system that can help me. Pretty much you're saying that i need to whore myself out if that's what it takes to support her myself. And trust me, i would if it came to that.

    And if she wants to report me as a runaway, i can have it to were she's in jail. Child abuse, neglect, and i would have her drug tested which would come out positive. But i guess you're right, i should have myself and my child around that.


    Trust me, i've already looked in to this, and at the time i was supposedly "missing" she was happy go lucky in a new relationship with a man she'd just met, bringing him around my child and her's, not to mention, she was posting on facebook saying "going to the mall with my girls!" every day. I can bring that up against her, and i'm not afraid of what will happen to my friend's family, because they've given me and my child a place to live, beds of our own, food, water, everything we need. And the mom of my friend who is actually a real mother is willing to do what it takes to get me and my child, even if that means being in trouble with the law. I can promise you, i'll win.

    I'm smarter than you might think, so don't talk down to me like i have the mindset of a child.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    24,521

    Default Re: I Have a Child, and My Mother is Unfit to Care for Us

    You DO have the mindset of a child, and your little tantrum just proved it.

    The law is not going to change because it's not convenient for you.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: I Have a Child, and My Mother is Unfit to Care for Us

    That's no tantrum, trust me.

    && I'm willing to do what i can to get my child in a safe environment. You may not care about your children's well being, that is if you have a child, but i do. And i will get my child out of a harmful environment at any (logical) measures.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    OH10
    Posts
    17,019

    Default Re: I Have a Child, and My Mother is Unfit to Care for Us

    Hmmmm. Sounds like a clear cut case of the blind, leading the blind.

  9. #9

    Default Re: I Have a Child, and My Mother is Unfit to Care for Us

    Quote Quoting kileynoel
    View Post
    Why should she help me care for my child?
    That job is on YOU, and your child's father. If you think you're old enough to make babies, then you need to be old enough to care and provide for them, lest the state take the child away.


    One, because i'm legally not able to get a job.
    Then you had NO business making a baby you couldn't support.


    I'm doing everything i can to support her, i have WIC
    Great. So the taxpayers are supporting your child.


    and i've went through every legal system that can help me. Pretty much you're saying that i need to whore myself out if that's what it takes to support her myself. And trust me, i would if it came to that.
    No, we're saying that this child has TWO parents, and between the TWO of you, you either need to figure out how to support the child that you made together, or risk having the child removed from your care.


    And if she wants to report me as a runaway, i can have it to were she's in jail.
    Um, not really, no.


    Child abuse, neglect, and i would have her drug tested which would come out positive.
    YOU don't have the power to do any of that. Only a JUDGE has the ability to do that, and no judge is going to listen to the rantings of a 15 year old with a baby who wants to blame her life on her parent rather than her own piss poor decision-making. You have much to learn about how the REAL world works.


    But i guess you're right, i should have myself and my child around that.
    The time to think about the environment you're bringing a child into is BEFORE having a child. Environment not fit for a child? Then don't have a child until AFTER the environment has changed or you have the legal ability to leave the situation, which at 15, you don't.

    Trust me, i've already looked in to this, and at the time i was supposedly "missing" she was happy go lucky in a new relationship with a man she'd just met, bringing him around my child and her's, not to mention, she was posting on facebook saying "going to the mall with my girls!" every day.
    The casual sex morality hasn't fallen far from the tree. Don't bitch about how your mom is leading her life if you're going to insist on following her footsteps and making messes of your own. It dampens your credibility.


    and i'm not afraid of what will happen to my friend's family,
    Of course you're not, because the only person you care about is YOU.


    because they've given me and my child a place to live, beds of our own, food, water, everything we need.
    That's called "enabling". And it's not THEIR problem to support your child. Again, this child has TWO parents, and THEY need to be providing for the baby.


    And the mom of my friend who is actually a real mother is willing to do what it takes to get me and my child, even if that means being in trouble with the law.
    She won't be doing much if she's in jail.

    I can promise you, i'll win.
    Yeah. Ok.

    I'm smarter than you might think,

    Not smart enough to keep your knees together or to understand the legal realities of the situation.


    so don't talk down to me like i have the mindset of a child.
    Then don't act like you have the mindset of a child.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: I Have a Child, and My Mother is Unfit to Care for Us

    I made an account just to reply to this. Don't listen to these people. They are being terribly rude for some reason that I can't see. I know that all you need is help and I personally don't know the answers to all your questions but I can tell you are very mature for your age. I can't see why these people are judging you and being out right nasty. I'd love to see them live in your shoes for a day. Its very unfortunate that your mom is acting the way she is. Over all, just don't listen to any of these people seriously. I don't know what their problem could be. I guess everyone just thinks they have everything figured out and they are just so smart. They are wrong, I can see that these people don't have anything better to do. If they did then they wouldn't bother putting you down. They will probably say they said all of it because they want you to see what the real world is like, you know what the real world is, you're living in it. Keep your chin up sweet heart and just so you know, I was ACTUALLY in your position before, unlike any one else who commented on this I'm sure, and I looked into emancipation and running away and everything. I personally think you would have a good case in court. You will just need to do well in school, and wait until you are 16 and get the best job possible and save every penny that you can. Also, where I live anyway, I could work at fast food places when I was 15. Try that. God bless and Good luck!!!! I feel for you sweety.

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