My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California
. I have been legally separated for almost 6 years. I have a 7 year old son, for whom my ex and i have only gone to mediation. We have a 50/50 timeshare, joint physical and joint legal. its a 2/2/3 2/2/3 split. No exact time for pickup was specified. we agreed to split holidays (again, no exact time.) we have yet to finish our divorce.
My ex and i married young, we got into drugs, which once our child was born, caused us to separate.
It was my current girlfriend who encouraged me to get something in writing. I agreed to a 50/50 share because my ex was clean at the time. My ex went on meth bender for some months and left my son with her mother on her days. I had no idea what to do at the time. I assumed you could delegate your parenting time on your days as you saw fit, without first rights? Anyway, she's back. And i was happy my son was seeing his mother, but she's not very emotionally stable. She has been telling our son things. She focuses on me. And "explains" to our son why we divorced, telling him that i am a loser and a liar. I ruined her life. She sends texts to me stating, "youre selfish for trying to force our son to leave his mother!" (when i call to coordinate pick up) and says "he is only happy when he is with me (her), trust me, liar!" she says these things in front of my kid. He's asking why i lied to his mother during our marriage. This relationship ended over 6?years ago. She actually said she was jealous, she wants him to "know" me as a low life and only wants him to WANT to be with her. She verbally told me this. She said she has no problem exposing me to him.
I've been struggling with MY sobriety. I want to stay clean, so i have been going to meetings. I decided to go to a sober living house. I don't want to relapse. This is not a rehab, but a house to stay the night sober. You go to meetings, drug test and can come and go for work or family as you please (as this is voluntary) your family can even come and hang out until 10pm. I thought my girlfriend would just keep my son during sleep time and i would come take the kids to school, the houses are about 20 minutes apart. I went against my girlfriend and told my ex i was going to a sober living for a month. Her response was, good for you. A couple days later, i get a letter saying we have a mediation appointment scheduled late jan. Its the day our sons winter break started. I hadn't decided to enroll in sober living yet, as it was almost Christmas. I tried to phone to ask about the mediation appt. She'd set, but her phone was shut off. I tried to phone ex's mother, but hers was also shut off. I went to her house on my regularly scheduled day, as my son wasn't at school that day, and she refused to answer the door. Called the police and asked if there was someone who would come over and assist in the pickup of my son. An officer came and she finally answered the door. She told the cop I admitted I was using (which never happened) and that she had had full custody of our son for 2 months. I was dumbstruck. The woman who is recently back from a bender. I have been sober for 4 years. The officer obviously couldn't remove our son for me. I asked that the officer log a detailed report of the event. I have gone over with officers another time. She ignored the holiday, to show my son Santa doesn't exist (she doesn't do holidays) Its been over two weeks since I've seen my kid, if my son wasn't on break, i could just go pick him up from school. I really don't know her plan. If she filed, surely i would have received something by now? I am concerned she will attempt to keep him out of school because she knows that I will just pick him up. Should I go to court and file contempt since she is refusing me on my days? And will my want to go to an open sober living house affect my custody?