Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. #1

    Default First Right of Refusal with a Step-Mother Doing the Father's Job

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan.

    My problem is with our current First Right of Refusal and what we are trying to come up with as a new one. The current is vague and reads "It is futher ordered that each paren will contact the other parent to probide care during their designated parenting time before contacting family members or utilizing new spouses/partners."

    My ex husband remarried and wants/is currently leaving the my two sons with his wife. Because our FROF doesn't specify a time frame, I assume a couple of hours. By no means am I complaining about trips to the store or pizza runs. Whenever I hear of a time that he leaves the boys with her I blow up because he does not give me the right to see them! I live 15 minutes away... We are trying to come to an agreement but I am having a very hard time with this and don't know what is normal out there for this dilemna. We agreed upon first rights for anything after 4 hours. But he also wants his wife to pick up the children 50% of the time to and from school. I am repulsed but don't know if I have an argument on this. My atty says that the step-mom is NOT a guardian and has no rights, but... This is an area that it might be allowed.

    I'd appreciate any advice on this and if I should let this happen. What is normal when one parent is remarried and the other is not? I do it all myself and love every minute of it. I would gladly take my boys anytime he can't.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2011

    Default Re: First Right of Refusal with a Step-Mother Doing the Father's Job

    4 hours is not much for a time frame. FROR works like this, your going to be gone over the time amount in FROR, you need to contact the other parent and offer them the time, instead of a 3rd party sitter, you can have that be all 3rd parties, including spouses. FROR works for both parties, so you and dad would have to both do FROR. I would not agree to FROR only applying to one party.

    Step-mom does not have legal rights, however dad can assign her to pick up and watch the children on his time, as long as he stays in the time frame of the FROR. So if dads time starts at the end of the school day, yes step-mom could pick up the kids from school and watch them, as long as this was in the FROR time frame. Now on the other foot, if the day is yours, and your children come home from school to a 3rd party sitter, as long as the sitter is not there more then 4 hours, then you don't have to offer dad time.

    If you have to have a sitter, and you offer the time to dad, dad needs to be available. He can't use his FROR right, if he is going to use a 3rd party sitter for over 4 hours. Same would apply to you to, if dad offered you time under FROR, and your going to be gone over 4 hours of it, then you can't accept that time. It goes back to the party who has the children that day, they decide who will be the sitter.

    It would help if you told us what the current parenting time schedule is. It's hard to tell without knowing the parenting time, why you would have a problem with dad having his spouse take or pick up children from school on his time. If he has 50/50, and he works day shift, it's possible for him to stay within the 4 hours of FROR and have step-mom drop kids off at school and pick up.

    Personally I would not agree to FROR with only a 4 hour time frame. Normal is more towards 8-24 hours.

    So what is the current parenting time schedule? Why are you so against step-mom helping dad out with some of his duties? Your not going to get dad or a court to think that he needs to spend every second of his time with the kids. It's his time to do with as he sees fit, just like your time is.

  3. #3

    Default Re: First Right of Refusal with a Step-Mother Doing the Father's Job

    I have a 5 hour time frame for mine. I specifically made it 5 hours so I would get them on a work day for sure, even though he works 8-10 hours a day. I also said 3rd party so my ex's gf can't watch them!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Somewhere near Canada

    Default Re: First Right of Refusal with a Step-Mother Doing the Father's Job

    And yet, kristinamarie, in another thread you're asking how your husband can have rights to your children? But you don't want your ex's girlfriend to babysit?

    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

    1. Sponsored Links

Similar Threads

  1. Grandparents and Third Parties: Why Would a Good Mother Lose Custody to Father and Step Wife
    By ivyfields in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 05-29-2010, 02:56 PM
  2. Changing a Child's Name: Name Change for Daughter by Mother to Step-Father's Name
    By USAFIrishman in forum Name Change
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 04-25-2010, 05:44 PM
  3. Adoption of Children: Step-Father Adoption when Birth Mother Passes Away
    By danuff1130 in forum Adoption Law and Surrogacy
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01-25-2009, 04:26 PM
  4. Emancipation: Mother And Step-Father Kicked Me Out, Took Me Back, Are Abusive
    By soledad in forum Juvenile Law
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-29-2008, 01:10 PM
  5. Grandparents and Third Parties: Father in another state, step mother lost custody of child
    By jasmk5 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-28-2006, 02:08 PM
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources

Forum Sponsor
Custody Lawyer
Get help for your custody case. Consult a divorce lawyer for free.