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  1. #1
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    Default Re: Spouse Charged with Misdemeanor Battery Dv

    Quote Quoting newlfe
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    CPO also stated; no contact what so ever via 3rd party to victim's mutual contacts (family, friends, etc).
    He violated the CPO by contacting victim's family & friends in attempts to gain sponsorships for himself.
    OP - You stated the language of the order so perhaps there is a violation, but I am not sure of that. Does the order say 'to' or does it say 'though'? There is a huge difference. I would be surprised if the CPO actually prevents him from contacting your friends and family. In general, an order prohibits the restrained from asking your friends and family to pass messages to you from him and prohibits him from communicating with you via third parties.

  2. #2
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    Oct 2011
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    Default Re: Spouse Charged with Misdemeanor Battery Dv

    I believe CPO states he's not allowed to communicate to the victim through or via 3rd party as a means of communication. There is a "stipulation" agreement in family law court that also states, there is to be no communication to mutual 3rd parties family or friends. The concern there was his abusive manipulative ways to coherse them to side with him if he needed credible allies. He's the reason I have strained relations with my family in isolating me from them. It was a clever set up on his part (all part of the abuse) to later go back & gain concurrence from them. My concerns are more so on if or how this would affect his up coming criminal trial & what his defense lawyer's strategies will be. I'm not the one who committed the crime, yet I feel as though I'm being scrutinized. No wonder 68% of women do not report their abuse.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Spouse Charged with Misdemeanor Battery Dv

    Quote Quoting newlfe
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    I believe CPO states he's not allowed to communicate to the victim through or via 3rd party as a means of communication. There is a "stipulation" agreement in family law court that also states, there is to be no communication to mutual 3rd parties family or friends.
    I suggest you contact the DA’s office and ask if there is a victim advocate on staff. If yes, pose the question to them. I hesitate to believe an order restricts him from communicating with your family or mutual friends, but go to the source and be certain.

    Quote Quoting newlfe
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    The concern there was his abusive manipulative ways to coherse them to side with him if he needed credible allies. He's the reason I have strained relations with my family in isolating me from them. It was a clever set up on his part (all part of the abuse) to later go back & gain concurrence from them.
    Are you in counseling? Are you working with the local domestic violence outreach program? If not, please consider reaching out to the nearest local advocate (find one by going to AARDVARC’s site and checking resources by state) and talk with them. Your emotional turmoil is evident in your posts. I hope you are working to surround yourself with people that understand DV and can support you through the process of trial. Your experience can not be validated or negated by the court process, so please don’t seek the court to give you that experience. It sets you up for disappointment. You know what happened and a good counselor (and maybe a DV support group) can help you deal with the situation and help your find closure that no court verdict can provide.

    Quote Quoting newlfe
    View Post
    My concerns are more so on if or how this would affect his up coming criminal trial & what his defense lawyer's strategies will be. I'm not the one who committed the crime, yet I feel as though I'm being scrutinized. No wonder 68% of women do not report their abuse.
    The local DV advocate can tell you what you might expect during the trial.

    Good luck.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
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    14

    Default Re: Spouse Charged with Misdemeanor Battery Dv

    good advice I'm finally realizing even friends are sticking their heads in the sand. I spent thanksgiving alone w/my dog as I didn't want to be anyone's charity case & honestly not in the festive mood to be reminded of what I don't have ..... family. I'm going to attend counseling through a DV support group starting end of this week.

    Re: CPO yes, my misunderstanding. I did find out he lied to my sisters & 81yr old mother whom he's isolated me from years. Three of our mutual friends have all stuck their heads in the sand; (1) credible witness next door that heard noises from the attack, (1) close friend came up to me afterwards saw my distress & police cars and others who don't want to get involved.

    I'm going to provide witness advocate with these names to pass along to the DA and let them handle it. Someone told me I should get the credible witness to sign a declaration stmt?

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