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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    2

    Default Domestic Second Degree Assault

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Maryland

    My Girlfriend and I got into a pointless argument that became violent, she was drinking, so I did not let her leave the house, she became frustrated and started hitting and kicking me, which soon became throwing things at me. I was trying to hold her down and keep her off of me, and she then got free, grabbed a frying pan and hit me with it on the head. I had threatened to call the cops on her a few times, and since she was not backing down, I went ahead and made the call. She ran off, cops found her and took her in, and came to the house to see the evidence of the fight, broken ceramic pot, things thrown around and a rock that she dropped on the floor after kicking in the back door of the house. No damage was done besides a few broken things in the kitchen, and a dented frying pan. I was fine, my nose hurt from getting hit by a pot that was thrown at me, but no mark on my head. The cops reported that she hit me with the pot and the pan on my head, and that there was redness to my face, and a bump on my head. I had a sunburn from being outside all day, and there was no bump on my head, nor did I say that to the officer. After the fight things cooled down and we both came to realize we took it way too far. My girlfriend is being charged of second degree assault, by the state. They did not ask me if I wanted to press charges. I don't want her to go to jail or have to pay a fine that neither of us can afford. I was not seriously hurt besides a bump on my nose. I had called the cops because I didn't want her leaving drunk, and I didn't want to hurt her trying to keep her from driving.

    I have no idea how the system works, neither of us have ever been in any trouble before. The police have not contacted me to ask for anything, they just gave my girlfriend a court date. We can't afford a lawyer, and we are worried that without one, she will end up in jail or paying hefty fines. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    1,376

    Default Re: Domestic Second Degree Assault

    It's not a matter of what you want. The police were called (justifiably so.) There job is not to play peacemaker and sit you guys' down for a timeout. An arrest was warranted, so they made one. They charged her appropriately. It's going to cost some money, now, later or more than likely, both.

    More than likely, there will be some sort of probation offered. Based on her actions that night, the judge will probably feel a need to address the ability to handle conflict within the relationship, rather than just settle the issue with jail time only. Probation departments don't like to collect money from the victim, so expect rejection if you assist her in this. Domestic violence programs usually run for 24-26 weeks in most states. Alcohol was involved, so there is a strong chance that she will mandated to complete a substance abuse treatment program. OP is usually 25 hours, with or without aftercare. IOP is 75 hours and aftercare is mandatory. Total cost is usually roughly $3000.00. That should in clude probation fees, court fines, domestic violence treatment fees and substance abuse treatment fees.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Domestic Second Degree Assault

    Understood, and thank you for the advice. Its a shame that next time I come into a situation like this, I may think twice due to the expense of asking for help.

    As far as "me paying for it" what I mean is that I will not be paying the fines directly - I'll be taking the repercussions of the fines when I have to cover rent for the both of us so I don't get evicted myself.

    Is it recommended that she gets a lawyer? From what I read, second degree assault is when serious physical injury is made, which in this case, fortunately it was not. I agree that she should have to deal with the consequences of her actions, but I would hate to see her charged for a higher level assault since she chose not to get a lawyer.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Second star to the right...
    Posts
    323

    Default Re: Domestic Second Degree Assault

    I am presuming you are male, but the advice that would be given to any female in this situation (to leave) would be good advice for you as well.

    You could be seriously injured next time.

    Even if you think this will never happen again, a 'next time' is statistically very likely.

    Also, while in any "he said/she said" situation there is the chance the wrong party (or both parties) will be arrested, there is probably a greater chance of this happening to you if you are a male. And the risk of future arrest is actually pretty mild compared with the potential danger of having pots thrown at you and being hit in the head with a frying pan. In addition, you indicate this was a fight that occurred over something pointless. Have you considered what might happen when you argue someday over something serious? You are in a dangerous relationship.

    I am not doubting or mocking your love for your girlfriend but sometimes love just isn't enough to make a relationship work. For your own safety (both physically and legally) it would be in your best interest to separate from your girlfriend.

    good luck

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    1,376

    Default Re: Domestic Second Degree Assault

    Unfortunately for most men, they under report or minimize the origins of such violence and neglect the significance of a moment like this. Just as women have to recognize the cues and triggers to a violent incident, so do men. I have been trying to minimize my sarcasm and unsolicited advice, but in this case he needs to really understand how serious this issue could have been. She tried to bash him over the head with a freakin skillet! This is one of those "by the greace of God" she didn't kill me type of situations. Hopefully the OP understands that the alcohol is one of the smallest components to this debacle. The most disturbing thing is this quote:

    Quote Quoting we87
    View Post
    Understood, and thank you for the advice. Its a shame that next time I come into a situation like this, I may think twice due to the expense of asking for help.
    That's the one that the one people regret saying right before they take that last breath.

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