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  1. #1

    Default Father Filing for Custody to Avoid Paying Child Support

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: VA

    My child's father and I were never married. Our child was born December 28, 2010. We lived with her father until August 2, 2011 and we also spent 2 weeks in July seperated. We couldn't agree on a child support agreement so I filed for child support. He's now threatening to file for 50/50 custody to lessen what he'd owe for child support. He says he filed to have custody discussed during the same court proceeding for support. However, I haven't received any summons or notice. Shouldn't I receive something? I've provided 100% of her care since she was born and she's exclusively breastfed. Does he have a chance in getting 50/50 custody? I want her father in her life but he shows little interest in caring for her. He's just worried about money.

    Also, she's lived with both of us for half the year and then lived with me the other half but he's saying he's claiming her on his taxes. Can he do this?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Father Filing for Custody to Avoid Paying Child Support

    Custody likely will NOT be heard during the child support hearing.

    He also is highly unlikely to get a 50/50 timeshare unless you agree to it. He will likely get joint legal (decision-making) though.

    Mom, he's probably blowing smoke.

    If he has supported her for at least 6 months of the year, he can claim her as a dependent, yes.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Father Filing for Custody to Avoid Paying Child Support

    Thank you for your reply. I'm assuming he is just blowing smoke. I allow him to come over every day to see his daughter and he's constantly saying things to try to scare me. If he were to have filed for any form of custody, I'd be notified right?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Father Filing for Custody to Avoid Paying Child Support

    Yes, you would have to be served with paperwork.

    I also wanted to add that I noticed you said your child is exclusively breastfed in your initial post. That has absolutely no bearing on a custody or visitation case. He is likely to get overnight visitation with the child with you having to pump milk for the child.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Father Filing for Custody to Avoid Paying Child Support

    Even though he's never participated in caring for her? He also has a drinking problem, he works until 2 in the morning and I've caught him 3 times looking at pornography on the computer and doing things in the open while she was home that should be done in private.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Father Filing for Custody to Avoid Paying Child Support

    Yeap, even if.

    Because you were "accepting" of those things while you were living as a family unit.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Father Filing for Custody to Avoid Paying Child Support

    It's not that I was accepting. I was there to take care of our daughter. I won't be. He goes out drinking several times a week and has admitted to driving under the influence quite a bit. He even showed up to visitation drunk. Will a judge take these things into consideration?

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Father Filing for Custody to Avoid Paying Child Support

    Drinking isn't illegal.

    If he has DUIs, you can use those - the court can order that someone other than he has to provide transportation (and that could backfire - you may end up being ordered to do all of the transportation yourself). But it won't stop him from getting overnights with his child.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Father Filing for Custody to Avoid Paying Child Support

    Okay, and one more question. Will a judge take into consideration that he is only pursuing any kind of custody to avoid a large child support payment?

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Father Filing for Custody to Avoid Paying Child Support

    Yeap - the courts generally see right through that.

    Given that there are no court orders, the court will base the custody decision on "best interest" of an infant (toddler). This is generally one parent remaining the primary parent with the other parent having regular visitation, often called "joint custody" (which is NOT the same as a 50/50 timeshare), and joint legal (decision-making) custody.

    Since you've been the primary caregiver, you'll likely remain the primary parent (the courts like status quo).

    This assumes that Dad has actually filed anything.

    Oh - one other thing. Since you did live as a family unit, Dad will likely get overnights right off the bat. You need to be prepared for that, Mom.

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