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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2010

    Default Pick-Ups and Drop-Offs and Family Law Code

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California
    After going back and forth of Mom not letting me see my son (Now 13Months) I filed and went to court and got court orders for visitations. I didn't know (Until now) that I had to be as specific as possible. But my issue is, originally mom would drop off son half way, and I would drive home then drive him back to moms (28 miles away). Even though I know the common is receiving party picks up (Which is pretty much standard).

    Well a few month ago she said she could no longer drop him off because she didn't have money for gas. I was understanding and continued my Tues and Thurs pick up schedule (6-9PM) and every other weekend (starting Friday 6 until Sunday 6PM). Then on the weekend I didn't have him pick him up Friday at 9am and drop him off at 6PM. Well it dawned on me that I was only spending 1 HR on the Tues and Thursdays because at that time there is traffic going to her house (28 Miles away) at 5PM (Time I had to leave to get to her house at 6PM). Then another hour because there was also traffic on the way back from picking my son up at her house. So I would get to my house at around 7:15PM and play with him about 1 Hr and 15 min then have to head back to her house at 8:30 PM to get there around 9PM. Then I was going back to her house on Thursday night to drop my son at 9PM to pick him up the very next day at 9am (Every other weekend (The weekends he didn't spend the night with me). So I was on the road over 2 1/2 hours and only spend 1hr 15 min with my son and then on Thursdays I was driving over 112 miles (Picking him up (28 Miles) driving back home (28 Miles) the driving to drop him off (28 Miles) and then driving back home (28 Miles total of 112 miles). Only to wake up the very next day to pick my son up at 9am and drop him off at 6PM and drive another (112 miles). So in a week I would drive 336 miles for my schedule. Wow it was a lot of time on the road and not enough spending time with my son.

    So I asked her if she could please go back to dropping him off half way that would cut 1 1/2 of driving time and 42 miles each time and give me an extra hour of spending quality time with my son. She said she had already told me she didn't have money for gas. I offered her a gas card so she can put gas and her reply was "I was advised to not receive anything from you pending the Child Support outcome (That has been pending from 1/1/10 because supposedly Child Support was unable to serve me because they were unable to locate me. But yet they have/had my pay stubs (Which I provided to them) and they had mailed me papers that I signed and sent back to there office at my home (So they had my home address and work address because of the pay stubs). But they claim they couldn't locate me until I filed the court papers they served me on my mediation date at the court (A whole other issue I am fighting)).

    My question is if I pick up my son and then text her (Because talking to her would be the end of the world). "This is my address (So she cannot claim she doesn't know where I live) he will be ready (our son) at 9PM for you to pick him up." The court order we have doesn't specify who has to pick him up or who has to drop him off. Would that be violating the court order and could that get me in trouble. Also I can pull one that she pulled on me. I had car trouble and told her I wasn't going to be able to pick him up and she replied with "Its your responsibility and court order so figure out how you are going to pick up your son". I just want her to do her share of having the responsibility of her picking him up and I have offered her a gas card and she said ""I was advised to not receive anything from you pending the Child Support outcome "?

    So by me telling her come and pick him up am I violating the court order (Court order doesn't state who picks him up or who drops him off. It just says "Father shall have the child as follows: a. On alternate weekends from 6PM Friday until 9PM Sunday b. Every Tuesday and Thursday from 6PM until 9PM, commencing 07-19-11 and 07-21-11.

    Any help is appreciated!!

    Oh and one more question does anyone know the Family Law code as far as pick-ups and drop offs (Who can pick him up (Family Members??). She pulled a "Well NO one but you can pick up your son unless it is in writing on the court order". Once again, there is not one location on the court order, that says who is suppose to pick up or drop off my son. it just says what I wrote in the above paragraph. She is denying my SISTER that lives with me to pick my son up. Can I write a Affidavit giving my sister the right to pick my son up. I have Joint Legal Custody on the court order or do I even need an affidativ. I found Texas law that says "Sec. 153.316. GENERAL TERMS AND CONDITIONS. The court shall order the following general terms and conditions of possession of a child to apply without regard to the distance between the residence of a parent and the child: (6) either parent may designate a competent adult to pick up and return the child, as applicable; a parent or a designated competent adult shall be present when the child is picked up or returned;" But that is Texas law I looked up something similar for California family law and couldn't find anything in regards.

    Once again any help is appreciated!! :-)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Somewhere near Canada

    Default Re: Pick-Up'a and Drop-Off's and Family Law Code

    Your ex has it backwards Unless the court order specifically says that ONLY the parents can pick up/drop off, both parents can designate a third party.

    As far as "tit for tat" - don't do it, Dad. I know she's being unreasonable (and yes, she is) - but be the bigger parent here.

    You are not going to be in violation of your current order if you say "Hey Mom, kiddo will be ready for you to pick him up at X hour". But you really should go back and get the order clarified.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

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