My question involves guardianship in the State of: New Jersey
I have a 24 yr old son that is mentally disabled. He (Mike) lives with his dad and step mom in NJ, I live in Ohio. We have been divorced for 14 years now. I see my son at least once or twice every year in summertime and try to help him and his sisters with whatever they need when they ask for help. His sisters are all out on their own now so they are not an issue.
My ex and I haven't talked in several years due to, I don't know, immaturity, stubborness, stupidity, anger lol
We have just recently started to talk again for Mike's sake.
We talked about what to do about Mike when we are both dead.
My ex claims that his current wife is afraid that I will try to take Mike away from her. Hello!?! I am his mother!
First of all, I told him I would do what was best for Mike but never said it was with his current wife.
If I feel that Mike needs his Mom and would be best for him then I will find a way to get him back here.
Is there any chance that the step mom could keep my son from me? when Mike's dad is dead?
I don't drink, don't do drugs, work hard and am a good mom.
My current hubby is a 100% disabled vet and we have checked into what we can give Mike for medical help. Mike could get ALL his meds, doctors visits, therapy, etc for nothing through my hubbys VA benefits if Mke came to live with us.
My ex and his current wife claim that they are now "legal quardians" of Mike. I guess this is for his SSDI and medicaid. I was never informed by anyone of the incompetency hearing.
I guess my main question is...
How can I be sure that my ex's current wife can't keep my son away from ME when my ex dies???? Would a court consider that since Mike spends most time in NJ with his father that he would be better served staying there? Or is the bio mom always informed and asked first?
Thankyou so much for any help!

