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  1. #1
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    Jul 2011
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    Default Can My Ex Prevent an Out of State Trip With Our Child After Verbal Agreement

    My ex had previously and verbally agreed to condone me taking our son to an out of state event for a very short stretch of time (days not weeks). A good stretch of time after making my plans and arrangements which cost money and time, an argument about a seperate issue insued and she sent me a text saying that she had changed her mind about condoning this trip.

    our custody agreement states 50 50 custody and was written and signed in Oregon. As well, the agreement specifies times that her or myself are to have him, but goes on to say, "or as agreed to by both parents".

    of course I will double check with other sources regarding my question and will not fully rely on the advice given on this thread, howeve I would like some input as to if i would be in violation of the parenting agreement or guilty of breaking any laws if i stayed on course and went any way against her wishes. Is she in violation for going against her verbal agreement with me? was her verbal contract with me legally binding? As a side-note are texts admissable in a court of law?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: (50/50 Custody). Can My Ex Deny Me and My Son an Out of State Trip Post Verbal Ag

    Please type word for word what your court order says. Minus names.

    I do get the feeling though that she's not in violation of anything. She's allowed to change her mind if she wants to. What's important is the "or as agreed to..." verbiage. She doesn't agree - hence you cannot go ahead.

    Texts can be admissible but really, much depends on the actual wording of your court order.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Deny Me and My Son an Out of State Trip After Verbal Agreement

    Quote Quoting seth gee
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    our custody agreement states 50 50 custody and was written and signed in Oregon. As well, the agreement specifies times that her or myself are to have him, but goes on to say, "or as agreed to by both parents".
    What does that language have to do with travel? Or is it the actual issue that you want to travel on days that are ordinarily hers, and she will no longer agree to that?

  4. #4
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    oregon
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Deny Me and My Son an Out of State Trip After Verbal Agreement

    basically there is not anything more to the verbiage whatsoever. The custody arrangement and accommodations were very limited. The custody paperwork states her days of the week and mine; and yes our verbal agreement was for me to take our son 12 hours of her time so as to allow time for airport procedure and flight time.

    Basically it sounds to me like I am stuck: that even though she agreed at one point (which I would assume would fall under the clause "or as agreed to by both parents"), she is free to dishoner her agreement at any time. So are verbal agreements basically null and void? At what point would she not have been able to change her mind? When Im on the plane? Or should I bring a parachute just in case she were to change her mind again in mid flight?....ha...ha...

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Deny Me and My Son an Out of State Trip After Verbal Agreement

    You are free to take the matter to the court that issued the custody order and ask that your travel plans be accommodated.

    Do you expect that she'll deny stating that you could intrude upon her scheduled parenting time by 12 hours, or will she admit that she approved the trip and travel times?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    Virginia
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Deny Me and My Son an Out of State Trip After Verbal Agreement

    I had something slightly similar to your situation happen to me. Mine was just an out-of-state road trip, and the cutting in to her time was around 8 hours. We had a verbal agreement as well, and she changed her mind as I was leaving the state. I decided, for better or worse, that I was going to stick with the original travel plans. She did file for contempt after I returned. However, the judge dismissed it. In my case it didn't matter when she changed her mind, because the judge wasn't really interested in listening to all of the details anyway and the timing of it wasn't even brought up. Could have been b/c there was another issue (similarly petty imo) we were in the courtroom for that day, and the judge really didn't seem to care about the contempt thing. I don't know, and I'm not saying my experience is typical, because I don't know that either. I'm just saying that's what happened to me.

  7. #7
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    Jul 2011
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    oregon
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    Default Re: Can My Ex Deny Me and My Son an Out of State Trip After Verbal Agreement

    who knows if she would admit it or not; probably depends on her mood or if she has something to lose. Its always something different with her.Today she agreed to sign the paper because csp showed up at her door and now she wants to make nice. apparently her neighbors or discruntled accuaintace or ssomeone contacted cps and now cps is asking her to take a drug test; so Now she needs me as an ally to where if csp tests her for pot, custody will most likely revert to me, im clean and sober and on the honor roll at the college I attend. As of today she agreed to sign the paper...I better go have her sign the agreement before she changes her mind again...make hey while the sun is shinin.

    Thanks for your inputs. On another note however...there are many conversations we have over the phone which I wish to god a judge could here should we ever go back to court..these conversations are of her making agreements and constantly changing her mind; and they are in regards to her actually abiding or not abiding i should say to our custody agreement. Complete disregard for agreements both writted and verbal. Basically I am wondering if it is legal to record our concersations without another parties consent. i understand that oregon is a one party consent state. What does that mean about wether or not I can record private conversations.

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