My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Arkansas
I hope it's OK that I join here. Short background I was married to my first husband for 3 years and in that time we had two children. Divorced, and since then we've both remarried, and had other children. We both live in state but I did move almost 6 hours away. (went to court before the move and all was done legal)
Fast forward to last year. Our oldest who was 12 at the time had started having some trouble in school, grades slipped a little, also began to distance himself from friends and family. At the time I did have pretty reasonable communication with his father. He (son) had started talking about he wanted to move to his dads. And over the course of a few months he changed. He became very angry with his brother, pushing around, yelling. I could hardly speak two words to him without being yelled at. Everything was "it's going to be better at my dads, my dad loves me more then you do, I'll have this and that." We had told him that he did have to finish out the school year here, but come summer he could move. I hate to say it but I had more less given up. I felt like there was just nothing I could do to make him happy, and all I wanted was for him to be happy. Also our home life with my husband and other children was very strained. We were just stressed. X and I agreed that our son was going to need some counseling, and most likely was dealing with depression maybe of some sort. He left our house in May and by June my world crashed. I got the call that some things at his dads had happened and without going into detail son was arrested and went to JVD, now almost a year later has a record that will follow him for the rest of his life. And now goes to court ordered counseling. For what ever reason (they need someone to blame) I have become the bad guy. 13 year old will hardly even speak to me, when he does come to visit he tries his best to steal whatever he can. (we check his bags before he leaves) He lies about anything and everything, and he's awful with his younger brother and sisters here. I hate to admit it but I get sick with worry before his visit.
Now on to our 10 year old son. Last year he was back and forth to doctors. Stomach problems, head aches, weight loss. Needless to say doctors could only say stress. Once things around our house slowed down and we all fell into more of a routine he slowly got better. Now this summer our younger son was not overjoyed to go to his dads for half the summer. One reason he would miss out on actives, and being with friends. Matter a fact he was gone last week and missed belt promotion in karate. He has begged his dad to let him just do 2 weeks then come home for a few weeks and go back for 2 more weeks. His dad told him no he was tired of getting Jacked around (not his words, but it would be a lot of ****) our summer break is only 8 weeks this year. The 10 year old has called several times begging me to come get him, and it takes all I have not too. He's forced to call his step-mom Mom, they only refer to me as the monster,(yes i've heard this on the phone) They tell him I'm a bad mom cause I won't make him cut his hair short, and I let him where jeans with holes in them. They also insist that he has head lice just because he has long hair. His dad checks him every day and tells him first sign of a bug and he's shaving his head bald.
It kills me knowing I have no choice but to send him there. I feel like I'm just feeding him to the wolves. I've done everything possible to communicate with the x. And I do my absolute best not to speak badly of the x or his wife. Even though it's not easy at times. I try to just tell myself it's silly and let it roll off my back.
Has anyone ever dealt with anything like this? I've been thinking of going back to my lawyer and seeing if anything can be done. I feel our boys have been through enough and all the drama is just making it worse on them. I don't know I'm sorry I've rambled! I just needed to get it off my chest.