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  1. #1

    Default Non-Custodial Parent is an Abusive Drug Addict

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New Jersey

    Where to start, i divorced in May 2007 from an habitual drug addict, abusive and alcoholic man. my daughter is now 7. i lived in state of NJ time of Divorce, but relocated 100 miles into PA in 2007 October. From 2008 to 2009 i withheld my daughter from seeing her father, for so many reason mainly his addiction issues with drugs and drinking, in my divorce he was ordered supervised visitation pending on six consecutive drug test hair follicle had to pass all, my ex fake the tests, he did them in Photoshop and printed off of Lap Corp stationary. throughout the years of withholding my daughter i told the courts several times i believed the tests were fake and needed them to help me prove it, they refused, later the girl who helped him make these tests admitted how she did it, and why she did it. this case has gone wrong in so many ways every attempt i have tried to protect my daughter i have gotten nowhere in October 2009 i was ordered by the courts to turn her over or they could possible revoke my residential custody he had a lawyer i was on my own, now two years later my daughter comes home and tells my mother all about pot, and describes the color, the smell, (she has come home every time with stomach aches and headaches and is constantly missing school after she comes home from his house) she told my mother in details colors of his pipe, where he hides it , things he has said such as if she doesn't go with him, i will lose her, that he would rather her live with him, my daughter cried for hours with my mother and in detailed told her about the vodka in the freezer, how she went to her older half sister which is 18 for help and was ignored, about several abusive comments made in reference to myself and how i am no good. i have called NJ DYFS so many times, they go to his house take an intake, he charms him self out of it, they give him a few days to clean his system out and then he goes in prepared for a urine test and magically he passes. the one test i did get the courts to do was at a court appointed drug center and he came back positive for pot, and yet i still had to turn her over, i have notified PA Child Services they come to my home, and drug test me on the spot never having an issue i passed several random tests. All of his complaints for revenge after i called NJ DYFS he falsely made claims to PA Child Services, the PA Child Services, The State Police, and even a few times i got lucky with a 3 month restrain order in PA for him threating to kill me, he was arrested twice for violation, PA has tried to help as much as they can, I then later tried to file in family court in PA since i have lived her over 4 years at the time it was closer to 3 years i loved her but he had a motion filed in NJ against me and they claimed as long as a motion was filed in NJ i could not file one in PA, he had a PA lawyer contact PA courts basically i was never sent this information she filed but i received a later right before the court date saying the case could not be heard in PA, but later was told by NJ court i could file in PA only if there wasn't an outstanding motion in NJ waiting to be heard, is this true? How can i get lap corp to help me prove his tests were doctored? i do have a verified copy of court order regarding the tests. How can i get the courts to help me and take myself seriously with his behavior which is very borderline manic and bipolar behavior? the drugs while My daughter is in his presence, she is deeply afraid of going with him and is relieved the truth is out yet he hasn't denied her claims but chooses to ignore her thinks he can sweet talk and bribe her into his car even though she herself has told him she is upset, DOES NOT WANT TO GO WITH HIM. He basically has called her a liar, and this doesn't sit well with her or i, she told me and my mother things that i seen and knew from when i was with him, and never have discussed with her, such as the color shape and size of his bong. How much trouble can i get into by not releasing her to him? he isn't hearing her that she doesn't want to go. this case is a mess. it is filled with his lies, his high powered attorney who no longer represents him, he has paid little when i had him removed from my home for beating the hell out of me in front of my then to no child support since Jan 31/2 year old daughter. i finally got my first warrant for arrest on June 3, his licensed was suspended he hasn't worked since i left him, he claims to be injured today Jan 16 he goes in after driving while license was suspended since the 3rd, and avoiding the warrant he clearly knew about, walks in the sheriff’s department serves no time in jail, pays a reduce purge amount, which i am not yet aware of, reinstates his license in an hour and claims he will be here tomorrow to pick her up and even after today she clearly told him she doesn’t want to go with him. i don’t understand how he keeps getting himself out of these very big messes her makes, he beats me and admits it to the judge i get no restraining order in 2007, he pays no support four years i get my first warrant after years of having no money from him payments which are never for the full obligated mount and he walks in and out in a hour with no time being help, he fakes DRUG TESTS and no less uses a major companies letter head, how do i inform Lap Corp and can they help me go after him for fraud? he does drugs in front of my daughter and yet thinks i should trust the safety of her in his car, home and i should just turn her over, he threatens to take her from me 24-7 he doesn't understand the word NO and he is downright unreasonable, and doesn't listen his behavior has gotten to the point i am damn near scared for myself and my daughter. please advise, i am so sorry i feel this is scatted brained but as you can see the abuse from him his lies and actions run deep. he claims to have no money he claims his father is helping him pay his bills, yet he can drive twice a month 100 miles one way 400 miles total for weekend, plus take her places they never sit home, and yet can't pay support. i need serious help i try to apply for legal help, PA approves me for free legal representation and they send the approved request to legal aid in NJ and they claim always to be too busy to help me it i am not working since 2007 after he damn well nearly killed me, i have had three back surgeries and i am trying to apply for SSI myself, i get minor cash assistance with food stamps. i had to give up my car, which makes it hard he picks her up in the summer for his court ordered two days and because it is state to state visitation with no car i can't get to her so he doesn't return her Sunday night instead sometimes days and weeks later with out my permission and he won't pick up the phone i have had to call the cops to retrieve my daughter seve she is mentally breaking down servally in the last 15 days since this is all come out, refuses to talk to him on the phone, is wetting the bed and doesn’t want to go with him or get in the car with him, she said to me if I am present her father can come to our home and she will only see him at our home, she is seven but mature for her age how can I make sure my daughter is safe?. Please any advice will help me......

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,303

    Default Re: Non-Custodial Parent is an Abusive Drug Addict

    Oh, sweetie, no. No one is going to wade through that unbroken wall of text. It's giving me a migraine just looking at it.

    Re-post, with paragraph breaks and without irrelevant details. Be concise.

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