[QUOTE=indrddb]Hi, any advice would be extremely grateful.
I have an 8 yr old son - born out of wedlock.
Father signed over full custody to myself, mother & voluntarily signed child support agreement. Child support has been paid for the last 5 years.
*Main issue:
- Father did not visit our son but maybe a total of 5 times when he lived in Indiana during first 2 years of our son's life.
- Father then moved to Nevada and has been there for 5 years. He only calls our child maybe 3 times a year, but has attempted to send birthday and christmas gifts for the last 3-4 years.
- 3 years ago, my son & I voluntarily flew to Nevada to visit his father and it went well (1 wk). I did this because I wanted my son to know his father and his father was not willing to go out of his way to come to Indiana to visit his child.
- The only other time the Father has visited our son was last fall when he came for a family funeral, for which I voluntarily let them have some alone time together during the visit.
- His father requested 1 week visit in Nevada alone with son this summer. Then last minute cancelled and only gave me the excuse he couldn't get time off due to a new job and got angry that I was not going to put my son on a plane by himself to fly out to Nevada to visit 100% with a father he barely knows without me staying in town. ( I was going to stay at hotel on my own travel expenses so I am there in case of need). He cancelled in May and still has not "spoken" to his son to explain, he left it up to me to relay why he cancelled this summers plans. He then called me few weeks ago, said he wants us to visit this Christmas season for a week, and still wants a week alone 100%/overnights. I spoke to my son about this, he is interested and feels comfortable staying with his father overnight (my son says "for 3-4 days"). I am willing to do this, as long as it's on my terms again, with me staying in town and having contact with my son (to know he is ok) in addition to flying with him, as I don't feel it's a good idea to let children fly alone (as I explained to the Father, 'how would he feel at 8 yrs old with bad plane turbulence or terrorist attack and not having your mom or dad with you'?)
- I am having the child support modification reviewed as I am only getting $70 a week which was ordered & agreed upon 5-6 years ago when he was at a minimum wage job here in Indiana before he left the state. I know this will make him mad and therefore I am worried about what visitation rights he may have, being as if he has voluntarily left his child AND NOT been actively involved in child's life.
The reasons I have concerns are:
(1) Father & girlfriend (which I get along with) both smoke and possibly smokes marajuana, I doubt the father would ever smoke maraj around my son, but I have seen them both smoke cigarettes around my son. I don't smoke and I feel it is unfair to my son to have no control of this situation when with them. I have discussed this with my son and advised him of his rights.
(2) Besides bad judgement calls in (1) I am afraid other bad judgement calls may also be made on behalf of his father, not on purpose, but lack of parental experience. I don't believe his father is a bad person, I am sure he loves his son (in his own selfish way), yet I am a bit concerned for the safety of my son for a long duration of visitation.
(3) I have done nothing but said positive things to mys on about his father, even throughout the lack of communication & visitation, I have done this so my son feels loved by his father andi s not afraid of his father because of the day which the father would ask for visitation time. I understand most interstate visitation time is summer time and holidays and I believe it's upon financial responsibility of the his father, who was the one that voluntarily left the state.
His father is mostly selfish, doesn't handle responsibility well (but I can't say that for his girlfriend, if it wasn't for her, he probably would not have paid child support these last few years) and with this said, I'm not sure he would pursue visitation and go through all the court costs, court time etc...I don't think he would put our son's best interest in hand when it comes to daycare during his work schedule etc if summer visitation was granted.
Any comments on visitation rights? Does he have rights? Is his rights restricted to the specific circumstances of our situation? Would our child have a say on what HE wants or doesn't want or is afraid of when it comes to visitation with his father, if so does the court consider his feelings/concerns? At what age can my son speak for his own, when does he have rights?
Thank you for your time

