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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    6

    Question Father Not Exercising Visitation

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Illinois

    Is there anything I can do about my ex not visiting with our child?

    He is suposed to see him every other weekend on Saturdays and Sundays, but he doesn't visit regularly. Part of the reason is, is because he has a 1 weekend a month obligation to the military, which usually fall on his weekends, and I understand that. But then the other times he misses are because he doesn't have money to visit (He lives over 150 miles away, by his choice) or his girlfriend wont drive him (He does not have a car).

    The time periods between my exs visitations are 3 weeks to 8 weeks. He never calls to talk to our child on the phone, and in the past 8 weeks, the only time he has seen our child is when I brought our child to him on the 2 days I was court ordered to. I am no longer required to bring our child to him so I'm assuming from his patterns, he isn't going to visit a lot.

    I would like to file something that will reduced the "court ordered" time because every other weekend our child waits around to see if he will call and cancel (which he does a hour before he is suposed to be here) or shows up. I would like to enroll my child in summer sports and activites but can not when he is so sporadic and not reliable. There is also one overnights that are suposed to start soon per our parenting agreement, but with the lack of visits already, and the lack of money and reliable transportation, I don't feel or see how that is safe and I really dont think our 3 year old child is emotionally ready to sleep over yet.

    Is there anything I can do about that or is there nothing against a father who could visit but doesn't?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Father Not Exercising Visitation

    When you discussed your concerns with the father and tried to work out a schedule that he could keep despite his military commitments and financial difficulties, what was the result of that discussion?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Father Not Exercising Visitation

    He refuses to talk about it and tells me it is none of my business.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    424

    Default Re: Father Not Exercising Visitation

    Ask the court that Dad confirm 5 days before the visit, that he will be exercising his visitation in order to have it.

    Go ahead and enroll the child in the summer activities, at THREE they aren't going to 'bench' him if he misses when dad visits.

    Also, don't tell junior that dad is suppose to be there. If he shows up, "Junior! Look Daddy is here! Yeah! Go show daddy your toy." Then if dad no-shows, junior never needs to know. (My mom did this and it just became 'normal' that dad would show up randomly a few times per year. Much less stress than sitting there staring out the window for someone who never comes.)

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