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  1. #1

    Default Pregnant and Have Question About Inevitable Custody War

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: New York

    I am 4 months pregnant and my live-in ex-boyfriend and baby's father have broken up or rather he left - we do not get along at all and have ended on very bad terms.
    He has already threatened me that he will do everything in his power to take the baby away from me, etc. So, I want to prepare and know what to expect as I have no clue really.

    I have the option to move to Arizona - is it better to move out of state before or after the birth? When I mentioned this to him, he said he can order me by law to stay in New York since I'm pregnant with his child. Is this true? What about after the child is born?

    Also, what can I expect custody to look like? I always hear the mother usually gets more custody. Will he only be granted every other weekend? What if I live in Arizona and he in New York? How much child support is usually granted?

    Lastly, if I remarry and my future husband wants to adopt the child, will the bio dad first have to give up his rights or can it still be done?

    All my ducks are in row - I have a good, steady job, no criminal records, college grad, etc.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Pregnant and Have Question About Inevitable Custody War

    The State cannot prevent you from moving. The State can prevent the CHILD from being removed, but only after the birth - not before.

    In other words - if you want to move, you'd have to do it sooner rather than later.

    If you gave birth in Arizona, then Arizona would have jurisdiction and Dad would at least initially have to visit in Arizona. In an unwed situation, to remove an infant from the custody from the mother generally requires proving that Mom is unfit.

    And if you remarry, of course the biological father will have to relinquish his rights. It won't be done without one of two things - either Dad's consent, or the court's consent.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    576

    Default Re: Pregnant and Have Question About Inevitable Custody War

    Agree that if you move to AZ, moving before child is born is best. After child is born, file to establish paternity and child support in AZ. After all is said and done, you will most likely be the custodial parent, dad ordered to pay support, and dad eventually getting a standard long distance visitation plan.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Pregnant and Have Question About Inevitable Custody War

    Thank you for both answers.

    What does a standard long distance visitation plan usually entail?

    And any idea how much child support the dad may be ordered to pay? He reports to the state that is is unemployed but he really works in his father's business making very good money but it's all off the books/cash.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Pregnant and Have Question About Inevitable Custody War

    You can request that he is imputed at least 40 hours/week @ min wage. Other than that, unless you can prove he's working there's not much else you can do. Run the numbers through the State's calculator (most have a version available online).

    Long distance for an infant can be tricky. You may want to consider Skype/webcam visits; some argue that these are pointless for an infant, but others will say that if baby can bond at least somewhat with Daddy's face/voice even if not in person.

    Google some long-distance parenting plans. Deltabravo has some great examples there.

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