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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1

    Default Domestic Abuse Blackmail

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: north dakota

    i was in a relationship with a girl for almost a year, near the end of it we fought more and more(never physical, just generic verbal spats), during one of these, i had had enough and needed to remove myself from the situation and tried to leave the apartment, she got in my way, locked the door, took my car keys, anything so i couldn't leave. i grabbed her by the arms and slightly pushed her from the doorway onto a bed, i know every other person in my situation says the same thing, and that is - i didn't push her hard and didn't intend harm, but i swear on my mother that is the case, she could throw herself onto the bed harder and needless to say, it didn't stop her as she continued her barricade and i just gave up trying to leave and we soon settled our issues.

    i broke up with her sometime later, or at least tried to.. heres where my issue starts. she has told me that she wasn't hurt by me ever and knows i would never hurt her but threatens that if i do not stay with her that she will make me pay, on one occasion i refused to let her into my apartment and she told me if i didn't that she would call the cops on me for abuse. she says "i owe her". i tried blocking her number and she calls my roommate. she says, and i quote, "i can make you stay with me if i want". she says she has pictures of bruises i caused, and threatens me with them whenever i try to cut ties with her. ive even told her that i was going to get a restraining order to which she gave a "if you do that, then ill do this.." sort of response.

    im scared, i can feel the more time that i stay in this relationship im becoming depressed and have thoughts of suicide(haven't tried, don't see it as an option, but the fact that its a thought in my head is terrifying), but at the same time if i leave her, i don't know what she'll do, shes smart and apparently extremely vindictive. im a college student in a very competitive field, an assault charge would ruin me even if found not guilty. i've asked her if she would be comfortable destroying my life if she didn't get what she wanted and it didn't seem to faze her.

    i don't know what to do, im out of options and, as i said above, extremely scared for my future and what she can do to me. any advice would be greatly appreciated.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Domestic Abuse Blackmail

    If it were me, I would break up with her and take my chances. I would try to get confirmation via texts, email, etc., or (consistent with the laws of my state) recordings, to document the threats. (Not that it necessarily helps you if you're guilty, but if the victim lies about when an offense supposedly occurred the prosecutor may lose interest in the case). Consider going over the details with a local lawyer.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Domestic Abuse Blackmail

    I agree with Mr. K. She's either going to hold her threats over you for a short time, or a long time. Waiting her out to see if she's going to follow through on her threats isn't likely to improve the situation.

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