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  1. #1
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    May 2011
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    Default Contempt of Court

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NY

    I just went through a nasty custody battle for my three children. I live in FL and the children live with their grandmother in NY. I filed for the modification of custody. I was not ordered custody of my kids due to lack of contact with them. I have not had contact because Grandma won't let me. She was ordered to give me unimpeded telephone/email contact and 2 weeks visitation in the summer at my home. I am also allowed to visit them without supervision when I am in town with reasonable notice to gma. This was ordered to reestablish my relationship with them for future custody mod. I just received my order in the mail and called my kids immediately. Gma told me I had to go back to court for any rights and I was not allowed to speak with the children or visit. I know that she is in contempt of court, and I must file contempt of court paperwork. My question is, will I have to travel to NY for another appearance and if so, do you know am average of how long it will be until the hearing? I was appointed an attorney for the custody case. He says that because the case is over, he is not my attorney. Will I get the same attorney for this appearance? I really like him and hope to keep him. Can I request him?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Contempt of Court

    Where is the other parent?

    How did the grandparent end up with custody?

    What are you trying to accomplish?

    Have child services been involved?

  3. #3
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    May 2011
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    Default Re: Contempt of Court

    The children were in the custody of the mother. She lost custody when she was arrested with my eldest child. My daughter was 16 at the time and was arrested for stealing copper off a construction site. The mother was charged with child endangerment and was found out to be a heroin addict while in jail because of withdrawals. This was in august of last year. I filed for custody in august as well. She has supervised visitation and lives in the same town as the kids. The mother and kids were living with grandma at the time of the arrest. I am trying to accomplish having my rights. I cannot even talk to my kids. The grandma is ordered by a judge to give me these liberties with my kids. Child services has been involved. They haven't done anything, despite my eldest daughter trying to commit suicide several months ago.

    I eventually want custody of my kids, but I will never get it without contact. Grandma refuses even though there is a court order.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Contempt of Court

    You really need an attorney to help you out here.

    While it's true that you have parental rights, it appears that you haven't had much contact with the kids at all - and they've apparently known grandma most of their lives, correct?

    Plus, you're asking to have the kids moved from NY to FL. That may not be in their best interest.

    How often have you had contact with the kids in the past say...four years?

  5. #5
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    May 2011
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    Default Re: Contempt of Court

    I had custody of them until five years ago. Grandma has not let me have contact for the last 3 years. Since I tried to file custody the first time. I didn't have money to follow through with all the appearances in NY. I have recently started making more money and filed as soon as I found out through social services that my daughter was being forced to steal with her mother. The only reason the judge did not give me custody, is because he wants me to re establish my contact. He ordered it. So what can I do? Grandma is not following the order that the judge gave. what are my rights? Can she just not listen to the judge?

    I just want my rights protected at this point. I want to see and talk to my kids. The judge wants this. The Grandma is in contempt of the court order. Can't she get in trouble for this? If it weren't for her keeping the kids from me in the first place, I would have been awarded custody.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Contempt of Court

    Yes, grandma might be in contempt.

    However it would help if you could type out, word for word, what your orders actually say (minus names).

    (Also, that's really not likely the only reason you didn't get custody - no judge in his right mind would rip the kids from the only home they know to place them out of state with a parent they haven't seen for 5 years - seriously).

  7. #7
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    May 2011
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    Default Re: Contempt of Court

    Sure. Give me just a minute

    It is ordered that the children shall be in the custody of the gma.
    It is ordered that the mother have supervised visitation and shall have no unsupervised visits unless she petitions the court having successfully addressed her addiction and mental health issues.
    Ordered, that the father(me), shall have unimpeded telephone and email contact with kids and shall have visitation with kids whenever in NY, upon reasonable notice, it is further
    Ordered, That the father shall have up to 2 weeks visitation with the children in his home, in Orlando, fl during summer recess and shall provide transportation. It is further,
    Ordered that the children shall not be removed from NY for residential purposes absent further order from this court. it is further,
    Ordered, that there may be such other visitation as to which the parties may aggree (that's a laugh)
    Ordered, That no party shall disparage any of the others either to or in front of the kids (big laugh)
    Ordered, this order supersedes any other prior orders

    And hand to God, the judge told my attorny that he expects me to establish the relationship and file for modification once I do so.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Contempt of Court

    So you received your orders, and tried to call and grandma said no?

    What you need to do is keep a track of calling. Don't call every hour. Try once each evening, for three weeks. Make sure you can access your phone records to prove that you're trying. You need to KEEP trying. That's the only way I think you're going to be able to show contempt. You shouldn't file just because she told you "no" once. And make sure you're calling at reasonable hours.

    Other than that, the order is unfortunately vague enough to actually border on unenforceable in some places. It gives no firm dates or times, and it's quite likely that Grandma will not be held in contempt if she withholds physical visitation when you get to New York, or even if she refuses to send the kids to Florida.

    Is there ANY way you can get an attorney to help you? Because before you start even thinking about custody, you're going to need to establish a firm pattern of visitation and that order isn't going to help you much unfortunately. This current order needs to be modified to include specific instructions. Here are some examples:

    Dad shall have 2 weeks of visitation with the children in his home, beginning X date and ending Y date. Dad will be responsible for providing Grandma with travel information at least 4 weeks in advance and will be responsible for travel costs.

    or

    Dad shall have 2 weeks of visitation with the children in his home, beginning the first Sunday after school breaks for summer recess, and ending on (Two sundays after that)..etc.,

    And:

    Grandma shall make the children available for telephone contact between 5 and 7 pm on X, Y & Z days. Grandma shall not restrict email contact between the children and Dad.

    Or:

    Grandma shall make the children available for telephone contact every night between 5 and 7 pm etc.,


    See the difference? While it's not necessary to list every last detail, it is important to have a detailed visitation plan so that neither party can screw with the other.

  9. #9
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    May 2011
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    Default Re: Contempt of Court

    I totally see where u r coming from. I thought it was rather vague. But she said I have no rights and she will not let me talk to them until I petition the court. It is like she has confused me with her daughter. I will call each evening at like 7pm. I can get my call records, of course. Then what? I can gauruntee that she won't let me speak to them. I have been dealing with this for years now. It is a shame that she won't be made to follow the judge's orders. So then file for contempt? I just wanna see my kids, and after dishing out over $5000 to appear 6 times, I at least want to be able to talk to them. Thanks

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Contempt of Court

    This is why I think you should try to have a chat with an attorney. You can file contempt of course, but you'll need to file in NY. That could be tricky but you can also see if the court will allow you to appear telephonically. It's certainly worth asking.

    With regards to the summer, do you have plans? Have you bought tickets yet? What you can do is notify grandma (CCCR mail) that you'll be exercising visitation between X and Y dates per the court order. If you're firm, it might make her back down a little. However again, the problem I see with that is that grandma could argue that the order says "...up to..." 2 weeks. That could mean...2 days. Or 6 days. You might be at her mercy there.

    There is a possibility that this won't be fixed for at least several months - and it's quite possible that you won't see the kids before the summer ends or, in reality, before the New Year.

    I realize this is a long shot - and I don't know your circumstances - but is there ANY way you can relocate to NY?

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