My question involves divorce in the State of: New Hampshire
Here's the situation of our very close friend (hubby's best friend since high school):
Mom & Dad- Married 14 years, have 3 kids all under 15
Dad (the friend) wants divorce. Mom claims she doesn't want divorce, but makes no effort in making an appointment for counseling or trying to fix their marriage. Dad doesn't want counseling anyways, he told Mom 6+ months ago he wanted a divorce and wasn't happy or in love with her anymore (and has continued to tell her since). Prior to that he begged for counseling, she refused saying it wasn't needed (but now says she wants it, but again, no effort has been made on her half).
Dad REALLY wants to just get the paperwork and give it to Mom but is terrified she's going to take everything from him and just make this nasty. He's fairly sure Mom doesn't love him and secretly inside wants a divorce but is afraid of being on her own/alone... so Dad is very stuck in this situation and keeps getting mixed answers when the question of whether or not she can take his retirement account (any of it) is asked. Some say yes, others say absolutely not. Hubby and I think she can't because she makes more than him overall and is currently working. Plus, he'll probably end up paying child support to her because courts usually grant the custody to the mother that way. He wants the house too, as it's his dream house (far from hers, she's more city-girl) but this whole situation has him so upset/frustrated that he's willing to give up everything except for basically his retirement (and obviously wants his kids as much as possible)
Mom makes $60,000/year roughly and has $200,000+ 401K, very good, stable job, degree, etc.
Dad makes $50,000/year roughly and has $150,000+ 401K, very good, stable job.
So can anyone give us a definite straight answer? Both my hubby and our friend (being hubby's best friend) are very distraught over this situation...

