Husband is Seeking Custody, Alleging Unfit Parenting

[Dogmatique]

...and does your husband work?

Please help us help you. Custody will be determined using several factors, but whoever has been the primary caregiver usually has status quo on their side and - generally - the courts prefer to leave the situation "as is".

[melissa478]

My husband doesnt even live here with me or the kids. Me and the kids live with his mom and dad.

[Dogmatique]

So you're living with HIS parents, and HIS parents are encouraging him to file for custody because you're talking about moving out into your own place (which frankly you need to do)?

Is that right?

And Dad has left fairly recently? Was he working when he was living with you?

[melissa478]

Yes. My husband left back in aug.

[Dogmatique]

Then you have been the primary caregiver, and you certainly have status quo on your side.

Be sure to tell your attorney everything you've said here. Unless you are actually unfit - and there's nothing to suggest that you are - you will likely remain the primary custodial parent.

How often does Dad see the kids?

[melissa478]

Not that often bc he says I start arguments with him.

[Dogmatique]

Then based purely upon what you've said here, if you file for divorce and request primary custody there is no reason why you shouldn't get what you request.

Make sure you tell your attorney everything, be truthful and honest, and what you can do in the meantime is start researching for yourself. Start looking at what to expect during a divorce, and how custody is decided in your state.

I am not affiliated with this attorney's site, but there's some good basic information here

[melissa478]

I just want to thank u and everybody who replied back. Yall have given me hope and I can believe in myself again. Thank yall.

[CourtClerk]

Out of pure curiosity, do you work and how do you intend on supporting yourself and your children?

[Dogmatique]

You're welcome.

Don't be bullied or manipulated. Divorce isn't easy, but you can get through it. Focus on what's best for your kids, and be strong. Educate yourself, learn how it all works and remember that you're going to be co-parenting with Dad for a long time to come. Dad is not the enemy - he's the father of your kids, and they carry half of his genetic makeup. He's part of them. Just because you're divorcing doesn't mean you can't coexist and parent your kids relatively peacefully

There are some fantastic websites there that can help you with all of that, and there are support groups to help you, too.

Good luck!