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  1. #1

    Default Visitation, Revoking Guardianship, and Concerns of Safety

    My question involves guardianship in the State of: Illinois

    I have had legal guardianship and custody of a 5 year old boy (In my mind he is now my son) since he was 20 months old. Prior to this I was his daycare provider since 5 weeks old. DCFS recommended guardianship to me and told me it was a permanent solution and provided me the ability to prevent contact with his bio mom. My son suffers from Reactive Attachment Disorder and PTSD due to the severe neglect and abuse he suffered. Some of his behaviors include screaming for hours, self-injury, violence - he killed a kitten with a fork, defiance, etc.

    The judge granted bio mom 2 hour visits weekly supervised by maternal grandmother in her home(even though she knew of the abuse and did nothing because she didn't want to take the child). My son goes willingly and enjoys seeing his grandmother. His behavior deteriorates significantly after visits.

    Grandmother wants bio mom to have unsupervised visits with him. His bio mom may not be using drugs/alcohol anymore. She attends AA regularly but is still making bad choices. She doesn't have a job. She lives with her mom. She was arrested 18 months ago for giving alcohol to a minor. I don't know how I could possibly handle my son if his behavior gets worse which I'm afraid it would do if he has to be alone with her. I have two other children that I need to think about also. Is there any way for me to stop visitation? What are my options if the judge grant unsupervised visits? Is there a way to move the case from Probate to Family court? Is there a possiblity of ever adopting my son? I desperately want to protect him and feel helpless. DCFS won't even answer my questions because he is in a safe, loving home. I cannot afford an attorney. My only income comes from providing daycare in my home, which is being affected by my son's behavior.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Visitation, Revoking Guardianship, and Concerns of Safety

    Hon, you need to understand something here - he's NOT your son.

    Do you understand that there's a chance that Mom can eventually get custody back? You've got to keep that in mind.

    With that said, did DCFS give Mom a case plan to complete?

    Remember, she is still his legal parent. She has court ordered visitation, and she is free to petition the court to have the supervised visitation amended to unsupervised. You should not and cannot withhold visitation by yourself unless there is imminent danger to the child (which evidently isn't the case).

    As far as adoption goes, you would be fighting Mom - and again, as Mom has not had her parental rights terminated she'd have a good chance at fighting it successfully.

    I'm really not sure how to advise you, to be honest - other than to try and prepare you for the possibility that he could eventually end up back with his mother.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Visitation, Revoking Guardianship, and Concerns of Safety

    Thank you for your reply. For the sake of trying to condense a very long, complex situation to something readable, I may not have explained the situation well enough. Bio mom did not want to make changes to her lifestyle. She specifically told the DCFS worker this. She voluntarily came to court and told the judge she does not want to parent him. She told him she was abusive and is unable to change her ways. She was the one to begin to call me his mom. She refers to herself by her name to him. She wants no involvement in anything more than being able to see him ocassionally. This is what she says. When I chose to be his guardian I was led by everyone involved to believe this was a permanent situation, including the judge. All of my son's therapists as well as the DCFS worker wrote to the judge asking for no visitation because of the extreme abuse he suffered. She left him alone as an infant for 3-5 days at a time, burned him, broke his nose, attempted to drown him, gave him drugs, starved him so badly that he only weighed 13 pounds at 18 months old. The judge agreed. Bio mom petitioned the court 1 1/2 years later for supervised visits. I naively figured that the judge would deny this due to everything in the case record and all she admitted to in court previously. She hadn't made any positive changes. Because I wasn't prepared, the judge ruled in her favor. She says she doesn't want him back. She says she wants to ensure her mother be allowed continued contact with him, which she knows I would deny if I was to adopt him.

    My son suffers from terrible disorders due to his bio mom. His day to day life is severely impacted. He is only 5 years old and has been hospitalized twice for violent behavior, goes to a special school because he is dangerous to other children, has been kicked out of stores and asked to never return due to his out of control behavior. Because I am a safe home for him DCFS says they have no jurisdiction. There has to be a way to protect him. Therapists say he has no chance of getting well if he continues to have contact with his bio mom.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Visitation, Revoking Guardianship, and Concerns of Safety

    ...I understand, but none of this changes anything.

    Mom is still legally Mom - and she has the right to change her mind and want to be a parent to her child. The court MUST allow her to be heard.

    Now granted, she would have to jump through some hoops to actually get custody - but it's not an impossibility.

    The fact that the child - and again he's not your son - is still showing severe signs of behavioral issues despite having very little contact with Mom suggests that there may be other issues which don't involve Mom.

    If Mom files, you can request that a Guardian Ad Litem (or GAL) be appointed who will work in the child's best interests.

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