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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    1

    Default Which Way to Go on a Child That is Mine but Has Been Raised by Another Man

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Illinois.
    My situation may be somewhat unique to others, but who knows so here goes. Almost 7 years ago I was seeing a woman that was living with another man.........I know.....bad idea. Anyway, she became pregnant and told me it was mine. Obviously I've had cause for doubt, however I now know he's mine (dna test). When he was about 2 years old, she moved out of his house and offered me the opportunity to be a part of the child's life. I said "As what? He has a dad." I stuck with that line of defense for a number of years now even though I have been around him for brief periods, but never really a consistent part of his life. So basically the man that has been in his life since day one still is and I have two older boys. I'm married, have a good job, etc. Over time it has worn on me that I did not become a part of this child's life and feel as though I've used the excuse that he has a dad to take an easier path. Over time this has not sat well with me, and as of late I have given serious consideration to becoming a part of his life and am concerned at what it may take to do so. I believe the mother will give some initial resistance and then give in to let me be a part of his life. Not sure how the man that has been raising him will feel (he is aware the child is not his). Do I have any legal rights to be a part of his life? What impacts should I be prepared for if I enter his life. My intent is not to hurt him, but to know my son.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Which Way to Go on a Child That is Mine but Has Been Raised by Another Man

    Was paternity actually legally established?

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