My question involves child support in the State of: NY
I was married to teenage daughter's father for 16 years and we divorced when she was 7. I am the custodial parent and he's the non-custodial parent. Before the ink dried on the divorce papers, he left the state and married his next wife. He was ordered to pay support bi-monthly, pay for health/dental coverage and a percentage of her expenses such as co-pays, school expenses, etc.. He refused to put her on his insurance or to pay any co-pays, etc. so I just let that go and focused on the support. He's not an easy person to deal with so I just didn't want to go to court all the time and have the grief. He has not seen our daughter, sent a gift, called, nothing since 2003.
I tried to let him self-pay the support for a while at a rate less than the court ordered but he would jerk me around all of the time and use it as a means of control so I had his wages garnished in 2004. Things went okay until 2009 when somthing happened to his job and he took a commission only job and a few other part-time jobs. He makes good money but he tries everything he can to delay or to avoid paying the support. It's very frustrating because I have to use a large portion of the support to pay for our daughter's health/dental insurance every month. Now, he'll get behind a month or two and won't pay until he gets hassled by child support or has some kind of consequence. Then he'll pay three months and we start the process all over again. Now, I have to deal with NY child support every few months to get them to call him and his main employer to get them to send the money. It's really hard becaue I know he and his employers are really nasty to the CS workers and they really don't like dealing with them. This of course means I have to hassle the CS workers to do their jobs and have even had to involve public officials to help in my behalf. I always feel I never know when or if he'll pay.
My main problem is that NY CS does not communicate with me regarding the court orders, etc. so it's hard for me to make decisions that are best for my daughter's support case. I hear so many excuses, the main being, "he's in another state" or they repeat back whatever lie he or his employer has come up with this time. I end up having to write a letter to prove the truth, etc.. ARGH!!
Honestly, I am fine with just getting the support and I can deal with the other expenses myself so he's really getting off easy. I'm not out to get him or to enhance my lifestyle. I'm just trying to pay for her insurance and part of the other expenses that comes with raising a kid. I can't talk to him about this because he does not want to pay anything at all and is not interested in our child. I accept the fact that you can't make someone care or be a parent.
I was reading other stories on this board and was wondering if anyone else had a similar situation or deals with NY Child Support. I also feel badly for the custodial parents who get little or nothing. I applaud the non-custodial parents who are trying to do the right thing and get the shaft.
Thank you for listening.

