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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    1

    Unhappy Regarding Restraining Order Hearing

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: CA

    So, the harassment began sometime in January with my boyfriends ex girlfriend chasing me down the street. She then showed up to his home on multiple occassions (3x) and then my house on multiple occassions (3x) threatening me with physical harm.

    I made a naive mistake and did not file any police reports because I thought that she would simply stop. Needless to say by April, she still was harassing me and coming to my house threatening me and my son. I was scared to even go outside in fear she will be there trying to jump me with her friends. She was also posting pictures and talking crap about me all over facebook, which just shows where her mental state is at. I finally received a TRO and served her with the papers.

    She has been harassing my boyfriend for years and he has never done anything about it, but I refuse to sit here and allow her to threaten me and my son and my home, but noone (including two witnesses) will speak up for me in court & my boyfriend is in jail, so I have no proof per se other than my word.

    I am scared that if I do not get this order, something will happen, but there is no one supporting me doing this at all.

    I'm confused and have court this Tuesday. I am just wondering how I should handle this with no support from anyone. Will my word be enough, in combination with facebook postings showing cyber-harassment as well?

    Helpless in CA

  2. #2

    Default Re: Regarding Restraining Order Hearing

    Quote Quoting CaliLady
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    but noone (including two witnesses) will speak up for me in court & my boyfriend is in jail, so I have no proof per se other than my word.
    That's where having filed police reports comes in handy, and not filing them leave you with little or no documentation of the history of the problem for the court to address. Why won't your witnesses speak up? The burden falls to you to convince the court that (a) certain behaviors are occurring, and (b) that those behaviors reasonably create fear. Fortunately, for a restraining order hearing, you don't have to prove what you're saying to the level that you would in a criminal trial, only enough to convince the judge that issuing the order you're asking for is prudent; so even without witnesses, you could still get your order.

    Now, knowing how important documentation is, you'll want to be careful to document any violations of the order so that they can be acted upon. That means calling police, AND it's also helpful to keep a few of those disposeable cameras around or get good at snapping pics with the camera on your cell phone, etc.


    I am scared that if I do not get this order, something will happen, but there is no one supporting me doing this at all.
    Even if you GET the order, you should STILL be scared. The order is nothing more than a piece of paper. It can't and won't stop people from doing anything they want to do. All it does is put in place the potential for greater penalties against someone if they violate the order AND get caught. If you're not already, it's time to be working with your local domestic violence program (yes, you qualify, because the perp here is the ex of your current BF), and get them to assist you with safety planning. You can get a jump start on safety planning at

    http://www.aardvarc.org/dv/plan.shtml

    I'm confused and have court this Tuesday. I am just wondering how I should handle this with no support from anyone. Will my word be enough, in combination with facebook postings showing cyber-harassment as well?
    Unless the online activity includes threats of violence, the court isn't likely to care. That's why online accounts have privacy and access setting on them. What the court is going to care about is dates/times of incidents where she threatened you with harm, especially IN PERSON, when she came to your home, what she said/did, etc.

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