Results 1 to 10 of 13

Hybrid View

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Practicing in Los Angeles, California
    Posts
    411

    Default Re: Divorce, Support and Affair?

    Quote Quoting rmet4nzkx
    My Dear IAAL,
    You omitted the portion of her post indicating that it was not spousal support and that he would file for ful custody if she wanted more.
    She never states how long they have been married and the issue or her MS complicates matters. She definately needs her own attorney.

    Dearest Rmet:

    No, I didn't omit or forget anything; and, due to her phrasing, I stand by my response. Until our writer comes back to clarify certain statements and facts, I have no other choice than to believe it would be a continuing monthly payment, rather than a single payment.

    I realize she never came out with the phrase, "I have been married for XX years." However, and for all we know, he married her 6 years ago with MS - - which was the reason for my response, above.

    IAAL

  2. #2

    Default Re: Divorce, Support and Affair?

    Ok i'll clarify the matter. Thanks for all the advice so far!

    We will be married for five years on sept 29. My husband is going through a bankruptcy right now so we can not file until that is finished. So we will be married for 5 years when we do file. I was Dx with MS a year after the twins were born. My Dr stated that the birth of the twins is what probably brought out the MS. We don't know when I actually got it. But it is my understanding that I may have never had any symptoms if I didn't have kids. I don't want to blame the twins for this its just a fact that pregnancy has brought the disease to the surface with many people according to my Dr. I am on S.S. disability. My husband said that his employer would not let me stay on the medical after the divorce. Is there a way that this is possible? As it stands right now. I will be using his lawyer (who is also my lawyer for another matter) and we will be working together. We agreed that the lawyer will represent me as long as everything stays as we agreed. If it changes he will fight for full custody. I just think i'm owed a part of his pension for the years we were married since we both agreed in the beginning that I would be a stay at home mom. The 1,300 is for child support. He will not agree to allimony. We will be sharing custody 50 -50. I think the 1,300 for support is more than fair. I did the calculations and I should not even be getting that much for a 50-50 split. Heres another question that I have. I recorded our conversation the other day where he admits that he's in another relationship. If he does decide to make this a fight will I be able to use the recording as proof of his affair in court?

    Thanks!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Practicing in Los Angeles, California
    Posts
    411

    Default Re: Divorce, Support and Affair?

    Quote Quoting broken heart
    Ok i'll clarify the matter. Thanks for all the advice so far!

    We will be married for five years on sept 29. My husband is going through a bankruptcy right now so we can not file until that is finished. So we will be married for 5 years when we do file. I was Dx with MS a year after the twins were born. My Dr stated that the birth of the twins is what probably brought out the MS. We don't know when I actually got it. But it is my understanding that I may have never had any symptoms if I didn't have kids. I don't want to blame the twins for this its just a fact that pregnancy has brought the disease to the surface with many people according to my Dr. I am on S.S. disability. My husband said that his employer would not let me stay on the medical after the divorce. Is there a way that this is possible? As it stands right now. I will be using his lawyer (who is also my lawyer for another matter) and we will be working together. We agreed that the lawyer will represent me as long as everything stays as we agreed. If it changes he will fight for full custody. I just think i'm owed a part of his pension for the years we were married since we both agreed in the beginning that I would be a stay at home mom. The 1,300 is for child support. He will not agree to allimony. We will be sharing custody 50 -50. I think the 1,300 for support is more than fair. I did the calculations and I should not even be getting that much for a 50-50 split. Heres another question that I have. I recorded our conversation the other day where he admits that he's in another relationship. If he does decide to make this a fight will I be able to use the recording as proof of his affair in court?

    Thanks!
    My response:

    And with that, I rest my case. As I said before, "take the money and run." Your marriage was too short for anything more.

    In answer to your last question, that's simple - - no.

    IAAL

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Divorce, Support and Affair?

    Let me start off by saying, that I am anti-ex wife.
    I just recently went through a divorce, and got raked through the coals, and because of that, I ( up untill now ), have not felt sorry for the ex wives ( when children are involved )
    That being said.....
    You are getting skrewed.
    Yeah, the $1,300 seems pretty good.
    But, here's some of the things you need to think about....
    1) When will he have the children on a week to week basis.
    2) What about holidays?
    3) You need wording in the divorce settlement, that says how often the child support will be re calculated. If he hits the lottery, or gets a good paying job, he will need to pay more
    4) What about out of pocket medical expenses. Will it be 50/50? If you don't word it correctly, and Jr. needs a full set of braces, YOU will be paying for it, because YOU have primary physical custody.
    The fact that you are using the same lawyer, as him, is concerning, to say the least. Of course he will represent you, as long as the father gets what he wants. That's a no brainer, slam dunk easy win for them.
    You can get a lawyer, for free, based on your disability and income. You just need to put in the effort, and look. Call your child support system, and see if they can point you in the right direction. Help is avaiable to you, if you look for it. Remember, you need to find the help, the help won't find you.
    Moving on...
    You will most likely not be able to touch his retirement.
    5 years is a short term marraige, you are not entitled to anything concerning retirement.
    He does not have to keep you on his health insurance, if the health care provider does not allow it. Once youre divorced, your off. You children on the other hand, may stay on his health insurance.
    The courts dont care why you are getting divorced. It doesn't matter if he has a girlfriend or not. About your recording the phone conversations....
    Some states it's legal, some states it's not. Check this website for more info on your state...

    http://www.callcorder.com/phone-reco...aw-america.htm

    Get yourself a lawyer.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Divorce, Support and Affair?

    Quote Quoting Dad2
    The fact that you are using the same lawyer, as him, is concerning, to say the least. Of course he will represent you, as long as the father gets what he wants. That's a no brainer, slam dunk easy win for them.
    I agree with that. It's even worse if this lawyer really was already respresenting you in another matter, then took on a client he knew wanted to sue you. (Divorce is a lawsuit.)

    Quote Quoting Dad2
    You will most likely not be able to touch his retirement.
    I disagree with that. Michigan law gives you the right to a share of the retirement accounts / pension. If he doesn't want to give you that share, he should pay the cash equivalent to buy you out.

    Quote Quoting Dad2
    He does not have to keep you on his health insurance, if the health care provider does not allow it. Once youre divorced, your off. You children on the other hand, may stay on his health insurance.
    Not quite. If the plan qualifies you would be entitled to continue insurance coverage at your own expense through COBRA, although many people find that option unaffordable. Most health plans will not cover a spouse after divorce (and if there are any left which will, you can anticipate that they'll be changing their policy terms.)

    The tape recording would probably be admissible, but I doubt a court would give it much weight.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    984

    Default Re: Divorce, Support and Affair?

    You need your own attorney and it may be unethical that this attorney attempted to represent both of you in the first place.

    This whole situation is not uncommon in MS and the bankrupcy obviously plays a roll and there are likely to be more hidden reasons behind his generous offer.

    While $1300 for child support may seem fair considering you are talking 50/ 50 parenting time it will end when the children reach majority, what about college? If you are on SSDI then then you have some income now and at 27 months you will become eligible for medicare which will not cover all your medical and Rx costs, something to consider is asking for him to provide a medicare gap & Rx plan, these costs are the main reason why so many marriages where on spouse has MS end in divorce unless they have very good medical insurance. If he won't continue your insurance, you possibly wouldn't have had MS without the birth of your children that he fathered, that would be a part of the ongoing spousal / child support costs and possibly some spousal support after the children reach majority. You are entitled to 1/2 his pension for the time you were married or something close to that in a buyout. Same thing for your share in other marital assets.
    Just because you have MS shouldn't keep you from having custody or at least primary care since you have been the primary caretaker of your children.

    True story.
    A "friend" announced his wife of 15 years and of his 3 children had MS. This announcement envoked a lot of sympathy for him and his family, that was the public view. Privately he was soliciting favors from clients from everything from doing housekeeping and gardening, auto repairs, artwork, carpet cleaning and trying to get his wife's Rx filled on his client's HMO Rx plan! Unfortunately he was also soliciting "favors" from at least 5 of his female clients including having sexual encounters in his office which threatened his license. I had knowledge of many of these ethical/legal violations and was in a place where I had to cooporate with the professional board as a witness. About this time he became more open in a serious/sexual relationship with one of his borderline clients while billing her insurance company. Eventually he moven into an apartment with her while publically denying their relationship and accusing me of slander and blaming me for him getting caught, he is a self admitted narcissist so this was in character.

    He filed for divorce without an attorney and stated on his divorce petition that he would pay for his wife's attorney if she needed one. She got one, pronto, he eagerly offered what seemed a very generous settlement, because he knew his license was about to be revoked and failed to disclose that information. Luckily, a little bird called her attorney and informed him of the pending administrative action against his license and how to get the formal accusation, which put a very large hitch in his plans. He eventually lost his license and his wife got a better settlement that she would have had had the other offer been accepted. This was in a nofault community property state.

    Get your own attorney who will represent your interests and the interests of your children and don't listen to his threats.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Similar Threads

  1. Pregnant from Affair, Living in Different States, Custody, Child Support
    By ChaelClark in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 01-30-2011, 07:23 AM
  2. Property Division: Divorce After An Affair
    By illusion456 in forum Divorce, Annulment and Separation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-18-2008, 04:09 PM
  3. Property Division: Freezing Funds Used To Support An Affair
    By parisaj in forum Divorce, Annulment and Separation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-23-2008, 09:15 AM
  4. Divorce: Divorce and Child Support
    By jumpingjacks in forum Divorce, Annulment and Separation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-05-2006, 09:53 AM
  5. Legal Malpractice: Divorce Lawyer's Affair With Spouse
    By ma-chan in forum Malpractice Law
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-17-2005, 05:37 AM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources