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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    2

    Default Ex-Roommate Harassing Me

    My question involves landlord-tenant law in the State of: New York


    I was in a month to month situation where I was not on a lease. The terms of my moving in were that I could leave whenever I wanted. This was all verbal agreement. Nothing was ever written or contracted to.


    When I started having financial trouble about a year later, my roommate picked up some of my slack (since we have a long history as friends) in the rent and utils. Obviously I had/have every intention of paying this back. Eventually when things didn't improve I told my roommate that I needed to move ASAP and that she needed to find a roommate. I agreed, again, verbally, to stay until she did so. She made no move or effort to find a roommate, and eventually begged me to stay for another month until her boyfriend moved in. I agreed. Fast forward, the boyfriend never moved in. I menton again, uh, I can't afford to live here, you have to find a roommate. I also made it clear that my rent and utils would be late because of my bad financial situation. She stated it was fine and that we'd "figure it out." I reiterated, I CANNOT stay here, you really need to figure something else out. Again, she did not, yet kept trying to convince me to change my employment situation so I could stay there.

    Mind you, financial reasons were not the only reasons I wanted to leave; I had also simply grown to not like living there. So basically I kept saying I had to move, and she kept basically just ignoring me, knowing that I wouldn't just walk out on her because we have a history as friends. I reiterated again and again, that I simply could not afford to live there anymore and that my rent and utils would continue to be late. She, again, said, fine, we'll just deal with it, yet continued to harass me for money she knew very well I didn't have. Ultimately the situation with her and her attitude came to a head and I did walk out on her about 5 days into March. I simply could not take being ignored and held hostage in this way and living in this super bad unhealthy environment. I told her, I'm leaving, today, and that's that. 'll be back to get my stuff in a few days. She says fine. I even agreed to pay for March rent when I had the $. I went and got my stuff and that was that, and I communicated to her that when I got paid for the job I'm working on now, I will pay her. My job is not complete, thus I have not been paid, yet she continues to harass me. I have stated over and over that when I get paid, she will get paid, yet she continues to harass me saying I owe her money, even threatening to sue me at one point.

    The thing is, I have never denied owing her money, and I have never stated an intent NOT to pay her what I owe her, even though she lived alone pretty much the entire month of March. I'm sure I'm technically not even liable for this money, but I'm just going to eat it in the interest of good faith, despite my being literally held hostage there for several months even after I stated I was struggling mightily and needed to move.

    I communicated to her repeatedly: you will get paid when I get paid, yet she continues to harass me and ask me when I'm going to pay her. It's like I'm speaking another language. To make matters worse, this person isn't historically truthful and also kinda sneaky, and I'm afraid that if I answer her texts or emails and say "I will pay you when I get paid" again, she will use it in some sort of legal preceeding against me.

    My question is this: Am I legally liable to pay her anything? Again, I actually intend to pay her when I have the $ but in the meantime I just want the harassment to stop!

    Again, we verbally agreed on a rent and utils structure, and no paper agreement or anything of the sort exists.

    Thank you for reading this rather long winde post. I just wanted to get it all straight!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    540

    Default Re: Ex-Roommate Harassing Me

    Verbal agreements are legally binding. However, the problem with verbal agreements is proving them in court in case of disagreements. In such cases, it is good to have records supporting your version of the verbal agreement, such as cancelled checks.

    It sounds like you both agree you owe her money. She may well be able to prove in court that you do owe here money. Maybe you could get her off your back by creating and signing a promissory note, where you put in writing how much you owe, and some kind of liberal repayment schedule, with modest penalties for late payments. Such an arrangement would be a lot better for you than if she went to court and won a judgement against you, since she could then seize your personal property to sell. A promisorry note would also help your relationship with her a lot more than a court case.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Ex-Roommate Harassing Me

    If you owe somebody money, you owe them money. When you owe people money it's not at all unusual for them to ask you to pay it back. If you don't want to talk to your ex-roommate, don't. Odds are, if you want, you can block her number from sending you texts or placing calls to you through your cellular phone service.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Ex-Roommate Harassing Me

    Right, and like I detailed, I've every intention of paying it back when I get paid, a fact that has been communicated time and time again to this person who seems to think that harassing me will make things go faster.

    What I'm curious about is if this person has a legal right to anything. I mean since she's threatening to actually sue me and all.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    California
    Posts
    540

    Default Re: Ex-Roommate Harassing Me

    It seems theoretically she has a legal right to the money.

    If she wanted to sue you, she would have to convince a judge that you borrowed money from her. She may or may not be able to do that.

    If you want to retain good relations and avoid a lawsuit or small claims court suit, I suggest offering a promissory note as above.

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