(If someone could sticky this....thank you)
My situation: Daughter and granddaughter caring for Elderly Grandmother, living with her at her home.
If I knew then what I know now:
Either do not do it. Run.
Consult an Elder Care attorney before you start, so you know what to do, what not to do, your rights......
What you will need to do to protect the Senior and Yourself:
- Be sure to pay rent. (If you have to file for Medicaid, DHS may tell you that you cannot live in Seniors house. We were threatened with coming home to a padlocked home, no rights to our belongings)
- Be sure to arrange any caregiver pay through an Elder Law Attorney.
(this protects you both later). Yes, even that $30/week for making 5 trips to the store; you need an agreement in writing for this.
- If the senior falls and 911 has to be called....do not let them just put him/her back in wheelchair or bed....make sure they are taken to hospital to be checked out. No matter how much they insist they are fine.
- Keep Records. If Senior falls....argues about medication....money....etc....you want records of this. Back it up to a Flash Drive. Any email communication with doctors. Any copies of medical files like Visiting Physician/Nurse/Caregiver.
- Keep thorough records pertaining to the house. Title, deed, major repairs. Should Senior need to go into a nursing home and house need to be sold....this is going save you a lot of time and a few bottles of Motrin.
- Keep written record of their medications. Receipts for all pick ups.
- Keep a file for (1) Their bank statements, (2) Tax records, (3) Bank ledger. If they suddenly need to go to a nursing home/Assisted Living...and need to apply for Medicaid, you will need these. Know where every dime goes.
- Do not accept gifts. Period. Even if it is a $20 check at Christmas. Should Senior go into Nursing Home/ALF....see above comment.
- Financially: Say you have the only credit card....and Senior needs a major purchase....get permission from an Elder Care Lawyer first, and directions for reimbursement (likely in the form of a check to your credit card, not to you)
- Financially: I know this sounds ridiculous....but say you are doing Seniors grocery shopping. They gave you $50. The purchase comes to $51.20. Skip an item til later. That reimbursement can be an issue. (Also a good idea to keep the shopping list, receipt, what they gave you, the change you gave them in a file....)
From experience, I cannot stress how import this is. How much of an issue it can be later. How getting the consult with the lawyer now will save you a lot of stress later.
Also, please visit www.caring.com to learn other caregiver strategies, share stories, and know you are not alone. Any questions, people there can really help you. Elder law questions, people here at www.expertlaw.com can help you, or do our best.
Medically, and this is VERY important; Always keep a folder with their medical records....and also a legal ADVANCED DIRECTIVE to their care. Their wishes in the event of a medical emergency. Any POWER OF ATTORNEY (medical and legal), copy of will....keep these together.
- If Senior has your name added to help write checks, please check with an Elder Law Attorney as to what you can and cannot do. During life and toward end of life.
- In the event Senior needs to go into ALF/NH suddenly....you will want to know your rights. She soiled a mattress....will you be in trouble if you throw it out? What to do if you put the house up for sale and it sells.....how to finance something. Even "She wants a TV in her Nursing Home room can have issues.....again....Elder Law Attorney.
By doing this, you will save yourself:
- STRESS
- Legal fees later.
- Stress
- possible legal issues later.
- Stress.
- Time spent looking for certain records.
You get the idea.
I'll watch here, and answer what I can....bear in mind, I am not a lawyer. Just experienced this stuff for myself.

