My question involves divorce in the State of: New York
I'm helping my sister in her divorce proceedings. Her husband just informed her he wants a divorce, wants her to sign divorce papers immediately, and is offering to settle things amicably with a lump sum of $20-$30K. The issues are: he has run his own business under the table for years, has a lot of undocumented assets and cash, and has cheated the IRS and the Veterans administration for years. He has a lot of property as well, so the assets are likely close to $200K or more.
They have been married for over 10 years, lived together for the previous 10, have a grown child. My sister used to work, but the past 2 years has not mainly due to the emotional turmoil of living with a cheating and emotionally abusive husband. He is a recovering alcoholic and their marriage has never been healthy, so she's glad to finally be leaving. However, she wasn't planning on divorcing right away and still had hoped somehow they could work it out. She moved out a week ago and found an apartment, he agreed to help her financially and gave her about $10k to get started (and to keep her quiet). Then he went to a lawyer right away and has been pressuring her to sign papers. She hasn't signed anything yet.
The problems lie in all his undocumented assets. How can she prove the existence of these assets such as a house full of antiques that have never been appraised, a safe full of cash in the basement that she doesn't have access to, the thousands of dollars he loans out every month to friends??
He is a wheeler and dealer, buys and sells everything from designer perfume to cars on ebay and auctions around the state, owns 3 homes, a lot of property, and about 3 vehicles. He lends money to people every day. The homes and cars aren't anything extravagant. He also has a coin collection probably worth $10K, but never been officially appraised.
He's kept everything under the table and doesn't keep anything in the bank. He's officially retired, collects a pension from the VA, and has lied to them for several years and told them he was single so he'd be eligible for more pension and health coverage...While he refused to pay her health insurance.
so, he was already engaged in illegal activities and probably some my sister isn't even aware of. She thought for awhile he was dealing drugs, prescription drugs mainly, but she pretty much looks the other way and he hides it well, so she's never confronted him.
They haven't talked to each other in years even while living under the same roof. She's finally gotten the courage to leave after subjecting herself this to emotional and sometimes physical abuse. She never engaged in his illegal activities or agreed to his lying about being single. Most of the time she was paralyzed, didn't ask questions, and didnt want to know what he was doing.
Probably too much background information...but the main questions are; How can she prove these assets if needed in court? Especially the cash? What kind of documentation is acceptable? This is New York state and most of what was acquired was after they were married. Is she entitled to "half" of everything or does the court decide a "fair" distribution of assets? What about the illegal dealings?
She's talked to an attorney last year when she considered leaving and is going to go back there. But she is in emotional distress and I'm afraid she'll settle for much less, sign the papers, and that's the end. And she'll end up in a puddle on the floor.

