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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    12

    Default Relationship With Married Woman - Changing Kids' Last Name

    I have 2 children , when they were born the mother was married to her husband and she let him think that these children were his, but yet would call me for money which I always gave to her, I even would at the time take my oldest daughter which is now 9 from time time when the mother would call me stressed out as she had an older daughter , my other daughter who is now 7 wasn't born yet my oldest was born in 1995 and my other daughter was born in 1998 I never got to see the younger one. Then one day the mother moved out of state with her then husband. not telling me or anything she just left, taking my 2 children with her, at the time I could do nothing because I wasn't considered their father in the eyes of the court because she led her then husband to believe he was their father, which is who is listed on their birth certificate with his last name. and she knew they were not his children, so she falsified there birth records. She then came back to Michigan and wanted to move in with me, I agreeded because then I would be part of my childrens life full time, shortly after she moved in she had an affair with a man and moved in with him, long story short my children didn't exactly have the best 1st years of their life, In 2001 she the mother finally went to a lawyer and called me and said here's your chance to be their father and reconized also by the courts and legal system, but little did I know that all she did was declare me as their father so she could collect child support from me, The birth records were never changed and to this day they still carry her now ex-husbands name, she is now since re-married. But I now have legal and phsyical joint custody as of 12-2004 as their mother contacted me because I had mentioned to her that I wanted to be involved with them more than every other weekend, she agreed because as she stated to myself and my wife the girls were driving her crazy, As she has 2 other girls by her ex-husband, and resides in a very small mobile home,the girls all share 1 tiny small bedroom. I would like my daughters to carry my last name not another mans last name. Is there anything I can do to make this happen ? And when we first started joint custody back on 12/2004 everything was fine , we agreed to one week off one week on, my wife and I transport them to school on the weeks that we have them, like I said everything was fine until recently when I guess their mother is getting a little insecure about the girls being so close to my wife, which my wife has never stepped on their mothers toes as to whom is their mother is, she just helps raise them and to make them into fine young ladies The mother has since started messanging through the pc on a daily basis that she loves and misses them, I mean she'll do it an hour after I pick them up, when she has them for her week I don't interfere as that is her time with them, but she is now constantly interferring with my time , by going to their school on almost a daily basis, I'm not trying to say she's bad for loving her children, but they do love her and miss her and she just doesn't see it, she is getting more and more possessive with them, telling them things that aren't true, filling their heads with incorrect information, putting ideas into their head 1 example would be about the custody she told them she didn't have a choice ( this should of never been brought up in front of them) and now she has indicated that the younger one mind you she's 7 will blame her for the custody saying she had a choice, She is always saying things in front of the girls that they just don't need to know as they are to young to know everything that happens in everyones life, just the other day My wife and I wittnessed her telling my older daughter that she was going to the doctor to get some medicine because so she won't act crazy , I mean come on why would you say that to a 9 year old, and her friends. She has also indicated to a mutual friend that she regrets ever giving me joint custody,I just want children to be happy andcarry my last name not another mans, I want my children to feel they can be themselves as their mother is continually telling them not to do this and that really confusing them , my wife and I try to let them know we love them and just want them to be honest about their feelings and to not be afriad of hurting someone, example they both have indicated they want my last name but don't want to upset or hurt their mother as she has told them she would be mad and upset if they wanted my last name so now they are afriad of her getting mad and upset, which is just totally rediculious.She has also confused them with no wanting them to call her husband daddy??? daddy plus his name as they call my wife mommy??????? which they have done for almost 5 years now, and now their mother is having issues with this now telling them that we make them do it which has never been true it was the oldest one that asked to do it. Please help me with any advice........

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Changing Surname of Children

    If you want to change the children's name, you would need to do so by agreement with the mother, or convince a court to order the name change. Within that context, were you to go to court, you would have to show a name change to be in the best interest of the children, not merely something you want.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2

    Default

    I am so sorry for all you are going through, not to mention the confusion for your daughters. I am not a lawyer by any means but if you are sure you are the biological father of these girls I think requesting a paternity test would be a good idea. This at least would get things documented confirming that they should have your last name. My sister has two daughters of which she had the hard choice when her first daughter was born to give her the fathers last name since they were not married and their relationship was unstable, she decided to give her daughter her maiden name. Fortunatly their relationship has worked out and they have a new daughter to which has the fathers last name. Getting her first dauther's last name changed will now be somewhat difficult. Getting back to you, if you have established that you are the girls father, which you had to do in some way to get shared custody, this only seems that the court would grant you the change of their birth certificates recognizing you as their biological father. Good Luck!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    12

    Default

    she now as told me that he did know they weren't his at all from the very beginning he knew this.

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