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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    2

    Default Harrassment or Slander

    My question involves defamation in the state of: california
    My ex husband and I have been on bad terms since I went after him for child support. He coaches soccer and basketball. My kids play these sports. I applied at a soccer organization on the other side of our town 30 minutes away for my children to play and myself to be a board member. I didn't hear back from them so I called several times and they never would return my calls. I later found out my ex is a board member there and suggested they not use me. How he convinced them, I don't know. This was not the first time;my son has been black balled @ basktball games. Its like I can't take my children anywhere to play sports because he has years of influence tied into these organizations. The problem is, I don't know what he is telling these people to have them mistreating us. Is there something I can do legally?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    20,594

    Default Re: Harrassment or Slander

    Unless you can show he is telling lies about you and you are being harmed by those lies, no. It may well be that he didn't tell lies, but merely expressed his opinion - something that is not always subject to laws against slander.

    I'm curious why your son would be "blackballed" at basketball games because of your strife with the ex? Wouldn't he want to see his son play?

    Basically, you are asking about your involvement in very political organizations. As such, personalities and influence play a large part. Even if you were not the ex, if an incumbent on the board said you were not proper material for the board, it is likely you wouldn't get on anyway. Personal relationship are far more influential than objective evaluation on these panels.

    Unless you are willing to investigate a great deal, it might be best to simply let sleeping dogs lie. Trust me, being on a youth sports board is NOT a picnic and I rank it right up with inserting red hot needles beneath my fingernails. And if you are on a rancorous board with someone you don't get along with, there are just too many opportunities to be "left holding the bag" - a legal bag of steaming dog doo. You're not missing out on anything by avoiding these boards. Enjoy the games, not the politics.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Harrassment or Slander

    For all you know, all your ex has said was, "It would make me sad and uncomfortable for me to see her regularly."

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Harrassment or Slander

    Thank you all for responding. I wanted to answer your question about him seeing his son play. The son that is in sports, is from my first marriage. He doesn't acknowledge our 1 year old. He has told a number of people that our son is not his. To date he refuses to pay child support and I asked him to take a paternity test and he refuses. I believe he is slandering me because he did not want me to have our 1 year old and I did, so he's waged a "psychological war" against me. This is why I know my character is being assassinated. I have heard him tell several people at the basketball games I'm trying to pin a child on him.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    20,594

    Default Re: Harrassment or Slander

    Quote Quoting mzhay75
    View Post
    Thank you all for responding. I wanted to answer your question about him seeing his son play. The son that is in sports, is from my first marriage.
    It's a pity that he might be holding your son to account for his and your failure to make the relationship work. If true, that shows a great deal about his character.

    He doesn't acknowledge our 1 year old. He has told a number of people that our son is not his. To date he refuses to pay child support and I asked him to take a paternity test and he refuses.
    Then you take him to court and force it.

    Absent a decision by the court, if you were married when the child was born then he is presumed to be the legal father. If he is not paying support, I can only assume that you have not gone to court. If there is a court order in place commanding him to pay child support, then why haven't you returned to seek enforcement?

    I believe he is slandering me because he did not want me to have our 1 year old and I did, so he's waged a "psychological war" against me. This is why I know my character is being assassinated. I have heard him tell several people at the basketball games I'm trying to pin a child on him.
    And that would not be slanderous at all.

    Unless you can prove he is passing knowing and intentional falsehoods about you and that you have in some way been damaged, you might just have to suck up his slings and arrows.

    In the meantime, seek court enforcement of the child support. Or, if you were not married when the child was born, then seek to compel the test.

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