Moving out at 16 in Oklahoma

[sarah102289]

I'm 16 & I live in OK. I feel extremely unhappy in my home with my family life. My father is very controlling, & I feel he abuses me mentally & emotionally. When I'm around my house I feel useless. I do chores like any other normal child, but since my parents are at work a lot, I carry most of the house responsibilites. I take care of my 12 year old brother. I also have a sister who is 18, & a brother who is 21. I get in trouble for anything my parents want. Sometimes I get hit physically, but not enough to call abuse. I know most teens don't get along with their parents, but my father is forcing me not to grow up. He will not allow me to go take the driver's test even though I'm eligible & I think I am ready. I do not really have many friends because I cannot go out a lot. I have to do all the laundry & clean the entire house while keeping my grades up because my parents decided I was smart enough to be something like a doctor & make lots of money. I do not want to live here anymore. I am in fear of inflicting great harm on myself because I feel so unloved & unhappy. I think I might have mental disorders from some of my behavioral patterns. I cannot afford to support myself; however, I still do not think I can take much more from my father. I feel that there are many supressed memories of things he's done to me. I feel guilty when he hugs me or kisses me on the lips... I even feel guilty when he just hugs me. Some how, it makes me feel dirty. I'm not sure why. I feel bad for feeling that way, but I cannot recall most of my childhood. Is there any way I can legally move out & live with someone else? I know I cannot live on my own, but I am very close with my drum teacher & I wish I could live with her. Is there any way adoption of me to another person can be forced apon my parents without them doing physical harm to me? Please help.

Email me at

modern-girl08@hotmail.com

or post here I guess.

[IAAL]

I'm 16 & I live in OK. I feel extremely unhappy in my home with my family life. My father is very controlling, & I feel he abuses me mentally & emotionally. When I'm around my house I feel useless. I do chores like any other normal child, but since my parents are at work a lot, I carry most of the house responsibilites. I take care of my 12 year old brother. I also have a sister who is 18, & a brother who is 21. I get in trouble for anything my parents want. Sometimes I get hit physically, but not enough to call abuse. I know most teens don't get along with their parents, but my father is forcing me not to grow up. He will not allow me to go take the driver's test even though I'm eligible & I think I am ready. I do not really have many friends because I cannot go out a lot. I have to do all the laundry & clean the entire house while keeping my grades up because my parents decided I was smart enough to be something like a doctor & make lots of money. I do not want to live here anymore. I am in fear of inflicting great harm on myself because I feel so unloved & unhappy. I think I might have mental disorders from some of my behavioral patterns. I cannot afford to support myself; however, I still do not think I can take much more from my father. I feel that there are many supressed memories of things he's done to me. I feel guilty when he hugs me or kisses me on the lips... I even feel guilty when he just hugs me. Some how, it makes me feel dirty. I'm not sure why. I feel bad for feeling that way, but I cannot recall most of my childhood. Is there any way I can legally move out & live with someone else? I know I cannot live on my own, but I am very close with my drum teacher & I wish I could live with her. Is there any way adoption of me to another person can be forced apon my parents without them doing physical harm to me? Please help.

Email me at

modern-girl08@hotmail.com

or post here I guess.

My response:

Your story sounds very familiar. Very familiar, indeed. Hmmmmm. . . . Oh, yes, now I remember - - Cinderella!! One day, soon, you'll be going to the Ball, wearing your glass slippers, and your prince will fall madly in love with you - - when you're older.

Right now, your hormones are going absolutely crazy and bonkers. So, unless you've got something more serious going on, this is just a normal "right of teenage passage" and you'll grow out of it.

You'll just have to "stick it out" at home; but one day, those mice and the pumpkin will turn into a glorious, beautiful, carriage being drawn by two beautiful white horses! Take your time in life. It strikes 12:00 midnight sooner than you think.

IAAL

[aaron]

Oklahoma's emancipation law provides:

Section 91 - Procedure to Confer Rights of Majority - Petition - Jurisdiction and Venue - Decree.

The district courts shall have authority to confer upon minors the rights of majority concerning contracts, and to authorize and empower any person, under the age of eighteen (18) years, to transact business in general, or any business specified, with the same effect as if such act or thing were done by a person above that age; and every act done by a person so authorized shall have the same force and effect in law as if done by persons at the age of majority.

Section 92 - Procedure to Confer Rights of Majority-Decree

Any minor desiring to obtain the rights of majority for the purpose named in Section 91 of this title may, by his next friend, file a verified petition in the district court of the county in which such minor shall reside, or, if the minor is a nonresident of the State of Oklahoma, said verified petition shall be filed in the county in Oklahoma where said minor owns real estate, setting forth the age of the minor petitioner and that said petitioner is then and has been a bona fide resident of such county for at least one (1) year next before the filing of the petition, or that said minor is a nonresident owning property within the State of Oklahoma, and the cause for which the petitioner seeks to obtain the rights of majority. The petition should state whether or not the parents of the minor are living, and if living, their names and addresses; whether or not a guardian has been appointed for the minor and, if a guardian has been appointed, the guardian's name and address; who has legal custody of the minor and, if the person having legal custody is not a parent or the guardian, the name and address of the person who has custody. And the district court being satisfied that the said petitioner is a person of sound mind and able to transact his affairs, and that the interests of the petitioner will be thereby promoted, may, in its discretion, order and decree that the petitioner be empowered to exercise the rights of majority for all purposes mentioned in this act.

Section 93 - Notice of Hearing-Certified Mail and by Publication in Newspaper

When the petition mentioned in 10 O.S. 1971 Section 92 , is filed the court shall fix a day for the hearing thereof, which day shall be not less than fifteen (15) nor more than thirty (30) days from the date of the filing of the petition. Notice of the hearing of the petition shall be sent by certified mail, return receipt requested, delivery restricted to addressee only, to the parents of the minor, if living, to the guardian of the minor, if one has been appointed, or to the person who has custody of the minor if such person is other than parent or guardian of the minor, and if both of the minor's parents are dead, the court may order that notice be sent by certified mail, return receipt requested, delivery restricted to addressee only, to other relatives of the minor; provided, however, that no notice shall be sent to a person who endorses on the petition that notice of the day of the hearing is waived. Notice of the hearing shall be given by publication in some newspaper printed in the county where such petition is filed, and if there be none, then in some legal newspaper having a general circulation in the county one time, at least ten (10) days prior to the day set for the hearing of the said petition. Before the court may enter an order conferring majority rights in the hearing provided for herein, proof must be presented to the court at said hearing that notice was given to all persons entitled thereto as provided herein.

Section 94 - Costs of the Proceedings.

The costs of the proceedings under this Article shall be paid by the minor petitioner.