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  1. #1

    Default Husband Left the Country and Has Ceased Communications and Support

    Hi, several months ago, my husband had shown interest in applying for an overseas teaching job through a foreign embassy. He subsequently interviewed and was hired and accepted a position. Our plan was that he would arrive and once he got settled in a month, he'd buy me a plane ticket over and I would, in the meantime, pack up our apartment and get our stateside business in order. However, as the time approached for his departure, he began dropping not-so-subtle hints that he had changed his mind. He left the country on August 1st, 2010, and I accompanied his mother to the airport to see him off. He spoke to me a few times over the internet but has since stopped communicating. He has made no moves to bring me overseas. I know someone in his family knows his exact whereabouts, because his mother was very involved in our daily lives and was integral in handling all of his application materials for this job. She has access to his financial information and bank account because she has his power of attorney. When I have attempted to contact her, she immediately hangs the phone up and has since changed her email address. None of my husband's other relatives are willing to speak to me, either. Because of the tough economic situation where I live, I have been working two jobs to support what used to be our mutual apartment (which is in his name exclusively.) He had been the primary breadwinner, despite the fact that we both have Bachelor's degrees (I haven't been able to get much more than retail work thus far.)

    I don't necessarily want a divorce, but somehow I think that I am owed some support now that he has a better-paying job. My question is whether or not I am owed support because he essentially abandoned me. We don't have any children, but I don't think it's legal for him to just leave me behind. We always seemed to get along and I know every couple has disagreements on occasion, but it was never so bad that we didn't reconcile in a day or two. Do I have a legal basis for contacting his employer and asking for spousal support? Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Husband Left the Country and Has Ceased Communications and Support

    It's legal for him to leave you behind, and until there is actually a court order for spousal support, he owes you nothing.

    You cannot contact his employer - his employer is not party to your marriage and is not responsible for your husband.

    You are absolutely free to file for divorce and request spousal support. However if he is intent on living abroad, depending on where he is it may be impossible to enforce a US-based order.

    The bigger question however may be, how long were you married, and in which US state do you reside?

  3. #3

    Default Re: Husband Left the Country and Has Ceased Communications and Support

    As of September, we were married one year and had been cohabiting for 5 total. We are both from Michigan.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Husband Left the Country and Has Ceased Communications and Support

    A 1-year marriage?

    You have absolutely no chance at getting spousal support.

    Sorry.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Husband Left the Country and Has Ceased Communications and Support

    Ok. Guess I'm going to abandon his apartment, credit card bills, and car payments while being stuck married to someone and now not legally able to leave him and start a new relationship.

    PS are you even an attorney?????????????

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Husband Left the Country and Has Ceased Communications and Support

    There's nothing stopping you from filing for divorce.

    And no - I'm not an attorney.

    You're absolutely free to pay an attorney to tell you the same thing you've been told here...for free.


  7. #7

    Default Re: Husband Left the Country and Has Ceased Communications and Support

    Quote Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    There's nothing stopping you from filing for divorce.

    And no - I'm not an attorney.

    You're absolutely free to pay an attorney to tell you the same thing you've been told here...for free.

    I don't want a divorce, I want my husband to pay his bills and come back to our marriage!!! Apparently this forum is not the right place to ask valid questions!!!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Husband Left the Country and Has Ceased Communications and Support

    Now, you're getting all pissy at the wrong person. I'm not the one who dumped you.

    File for divorce, and get on with your life. Because you simply can't force him to come back and want to be married, nor can you force him - outside of filing for divorce - to pay your bills.

    Understand?

    (And you're the one who brought up not being able to leave and start a new relationship!)

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