My question involves a marriage in the state of: New Jersey
My husband and I were married for 8 years. We have three children. Last January we began marriage counseling that was disastrous. Once he realized things were not going to work out, he began a distortion campaign with our friends and family regarding me. He claimed that I was crazy and irrational- he was concerned for my safety. The only things I did at that time was date (several people) because I was emotionally done. I finally filed for divorce in July.
That being said, his behavior fits DSM-IV criteria for a type B personality disorder (probably borderline personality). He creates an alternate reality (where I am the bad guy) and he confabulates and exaggerates to support his claims. He has falsified numerous documents to the court and continues to drag out the divorce process by requesting hearings. I have begged him for mediation or a sit down conference with our lawyers. He requested full custody of our three children (denied) and filed a bogus temporary restraining order (dropped). He is currently asking for the house (marital property), his 401k (also marital), and alimony. I document everything and often counter his claims.
How do you handle someone so capricious in a legal battle?
What moves, if any, can help this progress?
Any advice on how to be the aggressor instead of constantly on the defensive?

