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  1. #1

    Angry Children Being Neglected and Bullied at Dad's

    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Indiana

    I have a 13 y/o daughter and 11 y/o son with my ex-husband of 10 years. There seem to always have been issues with him, but he has almost always had and utilized his parenting time. When our daughter was 7, she got molested at his house and our son saw it. No one was charged due to lack of evidence, lack of cooperation from 1 of the suspects), and their age at the time.

    There have been other issues, like the kids' 12 y/o step-brother attempting to drown my son 2 summers ago and kids said they were made to eat soap for tattling. DCS investigated and substantiated and told them her kids had to be supervised with my kids for 6 months.

    Now I'm finding out that my son is regularly physically assaulted by the 17 y/o step-brother (who broke a kids jaw last year) and who has been diagnosed with various anger and control problems. My daughter said if she does not like even one part of the offered meal, she does not eat. The ex says the 18 y/o step-sister is more than capable of "caring for the kids" while is gone for various reasons, but kids say she stays in her room all the time and rarely comes out, so they are at the mercy of the two step-brothers, who routinely put my son in choke holds and threaten to kill him.

    My daughter has said that a year ago, the older step-brothers friend sexually harassed and touched her. Step-mom made rule that they couldn't be in the same room anymore, but told her to not tell me. Alleged perp has since been locked up for touching another underage girl (he is 18 or 19) and a sleeping with a 15 y/o. My ex sees no reason for concern though!

    Also, both children asked dad if they could start having their visits down the road at his mom/their grandma's house. He told them no because he hadn't been getting to spend a lot of time with his wife anyways, so he didn't want to spend more time away from home than he had to. Both kids said they were crushed.

    Word on the street is that step-mom is pushing for ex to go for custody so they can get on public assistance with then having 7 people in the household. She also uses them as household members to get more from food banks in the area, which I find fraudulent and stealing from those who really need it! My kids are there 8 days a month! I just very proudly got off all assistance and hate seeing the system abused.

    But these are all technically hearsay and I can't PROVE anything! Last time I expressed concern about my kids safety there, my they took back the cell phone they gave our daughter (as punishment) and they said the step-brothers bullied and assaulted them more. I contacted DCS, but they said since they have such an extensive history with my ex (he used to lock our son in his room at night when he was 2 and they made him sign his rights off his oldest daughter after refusing to give a hair stand drug test). Both kids have talked to trusted adults.

    What can I do to be prepared for court though? And do I really have to let his wife sit with him? She's always talking for him and he lets her cause she controls everything. She even had him write a letter to the judge saying I got my Med Assisting degree (had to quit school to take care of my mom), but I chose to work for minimum wage (I make a few bucks more than that), and that I was on public assistance (yet I've been off since Ooct because of having a better financial situation). All of those things are easily proven to not be true...and how is that even relavent when he knows our children are being neglected but he won't stand up to his wife or the step-kids to defend them. I want him to see them, but not at their house. What do you all think?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    35,894

    Default Re: Chidlren Being Neglected/Bullied at Dad's

    What are you trying to accomplish?

    Apparently the authorities have been involved, have investigated and have not found a reason to remove the kids.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Chidlren Being Neglected/Bullied at Dad's

    I'm wanting my kids to not be left alone with the step-siblings and have asked court that my ex, his wife, or his mom always be supervising my kids, but they don't even want to go there and keep saying it's not safe there. I want him to still see them and they still want to see him, but he sees no danger in them being at his house.

    According to an ex-roommate, he is there maybe 20% of the time he has them, which is fine, that's his choice. But when my kids are being bullied and attacked by the step-brothers and denied food by the step-mom, iI don't understand why he even takes them.

    We have court in 2 weeks for judge to decide on the supervision issue, but I don't want to send them there in the mean time. If the judge wants to threaten me with contempt, that is fine. My kids are scared to go there, and if he is going to put time with his wife before their safety, I will do what I can to keep them safe. I won't know until tomorrow (Monday) if anything is going to be done as far the authorities.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Somewhere near Canada
    Posts
    35,894

    Default Re: Chidlren Being Neglected/Bullied at Dad's

    Do you realize that withholding visitation can not only result in you being held in contempt...but you actually end up losing custody eventually?

    You do NOT want that - correct?

    In the meantime, all you can do is leave it up to the authorities...as you've been doing.

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