Wow!!! I woke up this morning to see who else had posted and I was amazed at the amount of feedback from all of you! Thank you so much! As for a no contact? there isn't one! The charges of the assault were actually on me, because she was able to have people witness that I hit her and she was defending herself, which was completely a lie, she attacked me, I was the one with the black eyes, swollen face and bruised body, not one scratch was on her! (charges were dropped after the DA and my attorney got together and my attorney was able to express that the police report was biased and that all parties that witnessed were on her side) everyone in the report lied, however she admitted in the police report that she was having an affair with my husband. The incident is a long story but inevitably, all charges were dropped. In response to aardvarc, I was interested in seeking damages for the assault, spoke with my attorney and found that it would be costly and it would drag the situation out longer, link me to her because of the fact that I probably would get a judgement but the fact that it could take years to get paid, I decided against it. But the attorney told me I would have 2 years from the date of the incident to pursue such a lawsuit in OR in if I decided otherwise.
I do believe that the truth in all of the ugliness would come out in a lawsuit, and you are absolutely correct that it's probably information that would be very hurtful. This whole situation is so hurtful. I told my husband how stupid this contact was and that if he wanted me in his life that ALL contact was to cease immediately! My husband told her in front of me that she is to have no contact with him anymore, and I warned her to stay away or that I would seek legal action for what she did in OR as well as what she is doing here in NC.
Ultimately, I think you are all right, I think that I need to find a therapist, possibly even marriage counseling, and move forward, whether I choose to move forward with a criminal lawsuit, alienation of affection lawsuit, a divorce, or nothing at all will be at the hands of my husband and this other woman. I just really am very please that I have recourse. That I am not backed into a corner with this woman continuing to intrude in my life as though she can. You have helped me in many ways, and I thank you for all your advice.

